Why were you born?

[biggytitbo]

What was the purpose of your birth? Mine, I think it was to bring pleasure to the worlds most beautiful women, and perhaps invent a kind of giant puppy you can ride like a horse. You?

[koeman]

In one of those nice serendipities that occasionally occur on here, the current order of threads (until I bugger it up with this post) reads: 'Why were you born?' 'Anal sex'.

I was born to spread the word of Brian Clough, the Chosen One.

[Maybe Im Doing It Wrong]

Because my parents wanted a child, I suppose.

[Danger Man]

To make my parents marriage seem worthwhile.

[mook]

to spread love and joy - that didn't work out, mind they were nice lasses, even though they had hippy names. so i just reset myself to the factory setting, which appears to be cunt.

[massive bereavement]

I was born to testify to the truth and preach the good news of the kingdom of God.

[ziggy starbucks]

I was born to run

[Dusty Gozongas]

to go

[Icehaven]

because Ooops!!

[Ambient Sheep]

Second tag is almost right: because the condom split.  It's no coincidence that my two brothers are 14 & 17 years older than I am.

Hilariously the condom concerned was the first from a packet given away by the local Family Planning Clinic, which my Mum had just visited for the first time on the recent recommendation of a friend she'd bumped into.  On such small things do whole lives turn.

Oddly I've never felt any resentment about my rabid unplanned-ness, perhaps because it was very clear that I was indeed loved & wanted when I arrived.  Which makes me one of the lucky ones, I guess.

[Serge]

Because it was the seventies and I needed to be around for that.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

To be wild.

[Dusty Gozongas]

Hilariously the condom concerned was the first from a packet given away by the local Family Planning Clinic, which my Mum had just visited for the first time on the recent recommendation of a friend she'd bumped into.

You're pretty good but as a rule, but that's taking your archiving talents too far!

[chocky909]

It was bound to happen eventually.

[Sony Walkman Prophecies]

I believe it was a spontaneous happening - why do you grow old, get sick, and ultimately die? It's something that happens without any will on your part or anyone elses.

[alan nagsworth]

For a bet. And I proved them all wrong!

[easytarget]

Coming soon: Whom were you born?

[Ambient Sheep]

You're pretty good but as a rule, but that's taking your archiving talents too far!

Heh!  I'd known about the condom split since my mid-teens, but my Mum only told me the full story (about the friend and the FPC, etc.) a couple of years ago -- I related a slightly fuller version on here shortly afterwards, but Google's not playing, probably to your relief!

[kngen]

Because Frank Zappa fell off a stage in London. (Thus his gig in Glasgow cancelled - teenage soon-to-be parents have unexpected time on their hands and an empty flat at their disposal).

[alan nagsworth]

^ That's the greatest fucking conception story I've ever heard. Kudos to you, you psychedelic miracle!

[thepuffpastryhangman]

Because Frank Zappa fell off a stage in London. (Thus his gig in Glasgow cancelled - teenage soon-to-be parents have unexpected time on their hands and an empty flat at their disposal).

Pushed the enraged boyfriend of a female fan into the orchestra pit? Presumably your middle names are Calvin and Cleetus.

Great story nonetheless.

[Fry]

Because this dude died and the universe needed someone to fill the gap, like, immediately.

[mook]

^ and you were the best it could come up with. the universe is a plank.

[kngen]

Pushed the enraged boyfriend of a female fan into the orchestra pit?

you've lost me

[NoSleep]

He meant by a jealous boyfriend. I had the misfortune of travelling up to the venue for Zappa's 2nd set that night, to be informed, by the crowd leaving, of his fate and that I had wasted my time arriving. Although it seems it may have helped toward preventing another hungry mouth to be fed.

[QDRPHNC]

Getting married and having a child was sort of the done thing back in the 70s.

[thepuffpastryhangman]

Yeah, I missed out 'by'' (Zappa was pushed by...). Calvin and Cleetus refer to tracks on The Grand Wazoo, composed by Uncle Frank while recovering (from the attack) in a wheelchair. They too (the tracks) were born of the incident also, it could be said. Blessed Relief is one of my all time fave Zappa tracks, so maybe the adore mentioned spot o' bother did us all a favour.

EDIT - "face" to "time fave". Dunno how it happened in t'first place.

[MALCOLM]

Because my mum raped a homeless Mexican

[NoSleep]

Yeah, I missed out 'by'' (Zappa was pushed by...). Calvin and Cleetus refer to tracks on The Grand Wazoo, composed by Uncle Frank while recovering (from the attack) in a wheelchair. They too (the tracks) were born of the incident also, it could be said. Blessed Relief is one of my all face Zappa tracks, so maybe the adore mentioned spot o' bother did us all a favour.

I was just pondering if the image I have of Zappa onstage at Charlton with a cast on his leg, and performing music from Grand Wazoo was a construction from my imagination, but it seems it must have occurred later that same year.

[Jemble Fred]

As the youngest of three boys born to a lorry driver and a waitress who weren't terribly well off, I always presumed throughout my whole life that I was a mistake. Why would they want another mouth to feed, especially as they only had three bedrooms? I know they were hoping that a daughter would turn up eventually, but it seemed too big a risk to go for the hat trick, so I just took it as read that I was an error that they didn't want to erase, once it was too late. I was strangely disappointed to find out a few years ago that I had been planned all along. I wanted to be a nuisance to the world, not a premeditated project.