Could Jim Davidson ever make a comeback?

[Desi Rascal]

http://www.voice-online.co.uk/content.php?show=18920

[Tiny Poster]

Neatly tying together the Forsyth and Davidson strands:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/3443306/Jim-Davidson-Brucies-a-miserable-old-bd.html

[Jake Thingray]

The way to find out if Davidson deserves a comeback would be to raise the topic and see if he says "But I never been away!" In which case he doesn't, as it's what Barrymore said at the start of CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER, confirming he's still a legend in his own mind.

[Desi Rascal]

 that or he'd been knobbled by Gerry Adams.

This interview reads like something out of Partridge: The Missing Years

http://www.sundaymercury.net/entertainment-news/celebrity-news/2011/02/06/jim-davidson-takes-on-the-role-of-bigoted-comic-66331-28119628/

[Brundle-Fly]

A skinny Jim Davidson with a big bouffant was booked to perform at my comprehensive school fete in 1977. I remember he trundled out a comedy routine, stood on a rikkety makeshift stage on the playing field, in front of a handful of people. He did a joke about diarrohea. Afterwards, he stuck around to sign autographs for folk, talked with the teachers and on leaving, winked at me. 

Whereas Dennis Waterman a year later, charged 50p for his autographs, sat alone drinking wine in a small caravan by the science labs for most of the day and was  generally a miserable cunt.

None of this has any bearing on this topic. Carry on.

[Desi Rascal]

Actually thats the kind of Human Interest story that makes this place top dollar, the only guests we had at our comprehensive school in the whole five years i was there were a German Brass band and a policeman giving a speech about crime prevention.

[Ballad of Ballard Berkley]

a German Brass band and a policeman giving a speech about crime prevention.

That's a pleasingly Pythonesque image.

[Brundle-Fly]

Actually thats the kind of Human Interest story that makes this place top dollar, the only guests we had at our comprehensive school in the whole five years i was there were a German Brass band and a policeman giving a speech about crime prevention.

We also had stunt rider, Eddie Kidd one year and he jumped over a load of coaches (on his motorbike, obviously)
There was rumour that went round the school the next week that a pupil asked him for his autograph and he refused and then flobbed in the first year's face. Well, spitting was all the rage back in '76.

[Desi Rascal]

Jim Davidson,Denis Waterman,Eddie Kid ? Surely thats the Central Midfield for Billy the Fish's Melchester Rovers!

I'm seriously impressed



 

[Jake Thingray]

Actually, I had the vague thought a few days ago that the only way Davidson's play would work would be if Waterman played the comedian. And if Davidson had written it under a pseudonym.

[Brundle-Fly]

Jim Davidson,Denis Waterman,Eddie Kid ? Surely thats the Central Midfield for Billy the Fish's Melchester Rovers!

I'm seriously impressed

Dudley Sutton, Brian Hall and P.C Copper as super subs?

[babyshambler]

Actually thats the kind of Human Interest story that makes this place top dollar, the only guests we had at our comprehensive school in the whole five years i was there were a German Brass band and a policeman giving a speech about crime prevention.

We had Hunter from Gladiators at some school event. All I remember of the day was meeting Hunter and going down one of those zip-line things.

[the midnight watch baboon]

We had the futuristic red sports car from the Norwich Union adverts - its doors opened up-and-outwards and it had fingerprint recognition. I think all this is true; am going by memory and not checking anything! This was in the early 90's.

[babyshambler]

This was in the early 90's.

2090's from the sound of it.

[kidsick5000]

Actually thats the kind of Human Interest story that makes this place top dollar, the only guests we had at our comprehensive school in the whole five years i was there were a German Brass band and a policeman giving a speech about crime prevention.

Luxury. The only people we had at our school was the police asking why we'd stolen their German shepherd

[buttgammon]

I'd take these 'don't do drugs' people over Jim Davidson. Seriously.

My one encounter with Davidson was seeing him hungover in a hotel restaurant in Torquay, complaining about the quality of the orange juice over breakfast. He came across exactly as I would've expected him to.

[Huzzie]

Actually thats the kind of Human Interest story that makes this place top dollar, the only guests we had at our comprehensive school in the whole five years i was there were a German Brass band and a policeman giving a speech about crime prevention.

I seem to remember only having one person. A blind guy who got me in trouble when he finished his speech and said "see you later", which made me start giggling.

Did the person who had Davidson and Waterson/man/whatever go to clown school, or something?

[Braintree]

We had Hunter from Gladiators at some school event. All I remember of the day was meeting Hunter and going down one of those zip-line things.

We used to get a lot of Gladiators at my junior school every year. I can't even remember what the event was but they would make us do some sort of assault course in the school gym and then we would get our photo taken (whilst sweating and struggling to breathe in my case) with whatever Gladiator agreed to do it that year.

That memory had genuinely been buried in my memories and now it will bother me what that event was? Anybody else do it?

[Gavin]

My friend used to be an LSA at a school in Liverpool with a large number of students with special needs. Steven Gerrard came to visit and one of the kids shouted at him as he was leaving, "I love you Torres!"

[Brundle-Fly]

I seem to remember only having one person. A blind guy who got me in trouble when he finished his speech and said "see you later", which made me start giggling.

Did the person who had Davidson and Waterson/man/whatever go to clown school, or something?

No, it was a human cannonball school.

[rudi]

My dad used to work there until he was fired.

[VegaLA]

we would get our photo taken (whilst sweating and struggling to breathe in my case) with whatever Gladiator agreed to do it that year.

If Jet had ever made an appearance at my school i'd like to think i'd be sweating and struggling to breathe while getting my photo taken with her.

[Johnny Townmouse]

We had Kevin Keegan and sometime CaB member Dennis Wise come to our school.

Keegan challenged us all to a 100m sprint, and said that the winner could drive his car. He did this with the knowledge that none of us squirts could possibly beat him. He was wrong. I was level with him at the 90m mark, and then a kid in the year above went streaking past him to finish first.

We gang-pressed a now very sheepish Keegan back to his BMW, whilst a teacher tried to stop us from shoving our diaries in his face to sign. My mate Paul stabbed in the eye with the corner of his diary and he was then whisked away. We booed as he left the grounds, and our teacher said we would never have a sporting hero ever come to our school again.

He was right. A couple of years later Dennis Wise came to the school to shoot a football training video he was doing. By all accounts he acted like a complete fucking arsehole, aggressively tackling schoolkids and getting pissed off when they won the ball off him.

Cardinal Basil Hume also came to my Junior school. He sprayed holy water all over my 6-year-old face.

[2 Light Ales Please]

Cardinal Basil Hume also came to my Junior school. He sprayed holy water manly fluids all over my 6-year-old face.

Standard practice that.

[Petey Pate]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2011/mar/06/jim-davidson-stand-up-be-counted

Again, he comes across suprisingly well and self aware here, and I agree with him on Gervais/McIntyre/Carr.  Doesn't make me think his comedy is any less crap though.

[Tokyo Sexwhale]

We had a DJ at my junior school once.  Someone said he was Simon Bates. 

But now I think about it, he probably wasn't.  Unless Simon Bates had curly hair.

[Dead kate moss]

I don't think anyone good ever came to any of my schools, hence I will assume they only send the celebs to the thickies' schools. We did have some nice lady come to our junior school once, talking about road safety I think. At the end she asked if anyone had any questions, and nobody really did. Until someone put their hand up and (innocently) asked her if she believed in ghosts. She said she wasn't really sure. Another hand went up, Alan not the sharpest tool in the box Wood as I recall, and he said his auntie had seen a ghost once. Then someone asked her if she believed in the Loch Ness Monster and the headmaster took the stage and stopped any more questions.

[mycroft]

We had a DJ at my junior school once.  Someone said he was Simon Bates. 

But now I think about it, he probably wasn't.  Unless Simon Bates had curly hair.

[2 Light Ales Please]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2011/mar/06/jim-davidson-stand-up-be-counted

The  more I read about SUABC, the more I get the feeling this is all an act and that Davidson's simply trying a sideways approach to getting back into the limelight. I'm sort of expecting a 'rise and fall' story in which JD ends up on TV again before causing some offence and undoing all the work he's done.

I can only hope...

EDIT: Also, having read the bit about Ricky Gervais saying "one false move and I'm Jim Davidson", my suspicions are confirmed that actually, he is. The only difference is that Gervais picks his targets carefully, so as to minimise the outrage it could cause.  Just because he makes fun of minorities in a different way, doesn't mean it's any nicer.

[Little Hoover]

We used to get a lot of Gladiators at my junior school every year. I can't even remember what the event was but they would make us do some sort of assault course in the school gym and then we would get our photo taken (whilst sweating and struggling to breathe in my case) with whatever Gladiator agreed to do it that year.

That memory had genuinely been buried in my memories and now it will bother me what that event was? Anybody else do it?

Yep I have the same memory, although we had the photo taken before the assault course. Some people claimed to have been kissed by the female gladiator, which I unquestioningly believed. Although I wasn't jealous at the age of 9.