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Forums => Deeper Into Movies => Topic started by: Nuclear Optimism on April 09, 2013, 03:33:42 PM

Title: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on April 09, 2013, 03:33:42 PM
With all the money they throw at films these days, you'd think they could afford to shell out a few quid for a decent poster. Yet time and again they fail to create something remotely convincing. How many times have we seen a terrible poster that could have been solved simply by getting the cast to actually get together for a group photo, instead of letting some underpaid photoshop monkey to stick them together.

Let's examine the filmography of one Adam Sandler.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Going-Overboard.png)
Everyone has seen this abomination of a poster (more than have seen the film at least). There's really nothing good about it. The two girls look like computer game characters. Look at the way the deck is a lazy mirror of itself. Now to be fair, the wildly different skin tones on Sandler's torso seems to be the rest of the scanning.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Going-Overboard-2.png)
Here they've had another go, with limited results, apparently using the very same photo of Sandler's head as before. Note the wacky curvature of the surface of the Earth, which suggests that the planet is the size of Pluto.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/The-Waterboy2.png)
The opposite problem is present in this film, which appears to take place on the inner surface of a doughnut-shaped world. I don't know what's in that bucket, but it sure as hell isn't water. Here we are introduced to the difficulties of setting people on grass. Poor Fairuza Balk, she's been removed from most other posters for the film.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/The-Waterboy.png)
Are the other players small, or far away? Once again humble grass wreaks havoc on the design.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Deuce-Bigalow-European-Gigolo.png)
In this Sandler-produced film the grass is slightly better, but not by much. Look at how badly that building on the left has been dumped on the ground, it seems to be emitting light from underneath.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Mr-Deeds.png)
Another lazy mirror-image job, especially visible on the lions. Let's not get started on the scale issues. And look at the view, those doors must open onto a sheer drop.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Zookeeper.png)
Another one of Sandler's mates. Where exactly is Rosario Dawson looking? At least whoever made this knew not to even try setting them down on an actual surface...

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Thats-My-Boy.png)
... which is more than can be said for the creator of this. The dreaded grass strikes again. If I was a photographer I'd just find someone's lawn and take the shot there. It looks like a straight-to-DVD knockoff, but this film cost $70 million (the same as Inglorious Bastards and War Horse, for example).

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Just-Go-With-It.png)
This one's really a game of two halves. On one hand they've done a really good job with the sand around Jennifer Aniston's feet, yet completely cocked it up with Sandler. A mixed bag.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/The-Longest-Yard.png)
Of course Sandler isn't in this one (he did the remake), but we'd be remiss to neglect it. It's a shame that during the entire filming schedule they never thought to take a photo of Burt Reynolds holding a football.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Lyfjaberg on April 09, 2013, 03:42:36 PM
(http://www.roehampton.ac.uk/assets/0/627/119/2147483947/2147485037/21164cf7-3f52-4160-9595-35fdcaefaad1.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Ignatius_S on April 09, 2013, 03:53:24 PM
The Room one is very fitting.

…Of course Sandler isn't in this one (he did the remake), but we'd be remiss to neglect it. It's a shame that during the entire filming schedule they never thought to take a photo of Burt Reynolds holding a football.

That image was done for a home media release – yes, it’s not a good ‘un but the actual movie poster was rather different.

On a tangent, the Sandler version isn’t the only remake – it was giving a British setting in The Mean Machine some years before.  Give me the original film any day, but the star vehicle for Vinnie Jones was rather better than I expected (although my expectations were very low) and had creditable supporting cast (including David Hemmings as the prison governor).
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Lyfjaberg on April 09, 2013, 03:59:19 PM
The Room one is very fitting.

What's worse -- the Wordart, or his "fuck me I've killed a hooker" eyes?

I would prefer a poster that somehow puts across the way Greg Sestero says 'underwear man?' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=SdLtDpkkdb8#t=102s) while punching a dwarf in the crotch.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mcbpete on April 09, 2013, 04:09:29 PM
There's a lot of them in the big Photoshop Disasters thread - http://www.cookdandbombd.co.uk/forums/index.php?topic=21488.0
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: lazarou on April 09, 2013, 04:33:55 PM
This one does a decent job of being lifeless and strangely terrifying at the same time.

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oiXE5fcSs54/TzIWVBo0xaI/AAAAAAAAACM/11CYIdoPkdU/s1600/Journey+2+Michael+Caine.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: checkoutgirl on April 09, 2013, 04:48:00 PM
(http://www.cracked.com/blogimages/2009/04/mattymc_header.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: checkoutgirl on April 09, 2013, 04:49:34 PM
(http://www.cracked.com/blogimages/2009/04/mattymc_nein.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Morrison Lard on April 09, 2013, 04:52:34 PM
This is a good one, and it also makes my willy hard but I'm not sure why
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/99/Jack_and_jill_film_poster.jpg/215px-Jack_and_jill_film_poster.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on April 09, 2013, 05:31:41 PM
I reckon the Jack and Jill poster is as good as it could be under the circumstances.

But there's no excuse for this one:

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/You-Dont-Mess-With-The-Zohan.png)

That one is horrific lazarou. It's so blurry it almost looks like one of those hologram pictures that you tilt back and forth.

BTW, I think you've got the wrong idea checkoutgirl...
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on April 09, 2013, 05:46:41 PM
That one is horrific lazarou. It's so blurry it almost looks like one of those hologram pictures that you tilt back and forth.

God, you're right.  Lenticular images, I think they are called.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Lyfjaberg on April 09, 2013, 05:48:45 PM
God, you're right.  Lenticular images, I think they are called.

What kind of hippy food makes your eyes go funny?

Lenticules!




I'll stop now.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on April 09, 2013, 05:52:42 PM
It also looks like Michael Caine is doing a giant bee up the arse.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/A-Thousand-Words.png)
In this poster Eddie Murphy appears to made of linoleum.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Tower-Heist.png)
Here we see Ben Stiller having a mild stroke. Judging by the angle of the buildings, the pair of them must have been photographed from the ground while adopting Michael Jackson's famous lean from Smooth Criminal.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/The-Haunted-Mansion.png)
Whoever made this couldn't even be bothered to photoshop two hands, so they've just flipped the same one. Yes, that is Terence Stamp.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Daddy-Day-Care.png)
Here's one for Up The Arse Corner.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Meet-Dave.png)
And who can forget this timeless classic? Check out that clunky tagline.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Lyfjaberg on April 09, 2013, 05:57:20 PM
In this poster Eddie Murphy appears to made of linoleum.

Black don't crack.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: lazarou on April 09, 2013, 06:00:44 PM
Bit of an obvious one as it was destined to be terrible, but they had a decent go at raising the bar regardless:

(http://i47.tinypic.com/auf39v.jpg)

What the fuck is going on with that ball baby
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on April 09, 2013, 06:32:34 PM
Ha! And what a rubbish tagline. "Don't Drive, Crawl!" It's not even a pun.

Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: El Unicornio, mang on April 09, 2013, 06:52:15 PM
Great film, but

(http://www.impawards.com/1988/posters/midnight_run.jpg)

And this one..I'm going to guess that all of these figures were cut and pasted from separate photos

(http://browseideas.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/worst-movie-posters-07.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on April 09, 2013, 08:22:31 PM
^ See also:

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/All-About-Steve.png)

And the first one seems to have vanished. Ah the dangers of hotlinking.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: spock rogers on April 09, 2013, 08:34:30 PM
This is one of the shittest I've seen recently. Look at the fucking state of it.

(http://cdn1.screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/The-Wolverine-Ninja-Poster-570x844.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on April 09, 2013, 09:16:23 PM
Oh wow. Then again, most X-Men posters are shite.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/X-Men-First-Class1.png)
Shite. I think the Iranian Photoshop Department hand a hand in this one.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/X-Men-First-Class2.png)
Shite. Obviously made my someone who doesn't know how reflections work.
 
(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/X-Men-First-Class3.png)
This one is probably the least shite, but it's still shite.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/X-Men-First-Class4.png)
Shite. Note that they obviously weren't allowed to use Patrick Stewart's face in the reflection.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/X-Men-First-Class5.png)
Shite. Similarly, suggesting Ian McKellen without showing him.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/X-Men-First-Class6.png)
Amazingly, this is not amateur fan-art. Shite.

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/X-Men-First-Class7.png)
Shite.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on April 09, 2013, 09:24:51 PM
And this one..I'm going to guess that all of these figures were cut and pasted from separate photos

(http://browseideas.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/worst-movie-posters-07.jpg)

My theory is that with them being separately pasted in rather than posing together, the designers must think they're achieving an inherent lack of spatial hierarchy, in a way that's very important when you're dealing with actors' egos.  Even when they overlap there isn't really somebody in front or behind someone else, because they seem to occupy the same physical space.  They are somehow all, incredibly, the "main" person in that picture.  It's almost a miracle.

The big pity, of course, is that the poster is shit.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: El Unicornio, mang on April 09, 2013, 09:43:23 PM
Whatever happened to the nice painted posters they had in the 80s? Even low brow comedies like Vacation had cool posters like this

(http://clzimages.com/movie/large/1d/1d_d_41038_0_NationalLampoonsVacation.jpg)

These days it would be a stock photo of the grand canyon with Chevy Chase and the kids shoddily photoshopped into the foreground and then Randy Quaid's grinning head poking into frame at a really awkward angle.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: lazarou on April 09, 2013, 09:50:19 PM
I'll just leave this here.

(http://i46.tinypic.com/29fsdbt.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: El Unicornio, mang on April 09, 2013, 09:53:10 PM
Haha! Almost exactly what I imagined!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on April 09, 2013, 10:05:22 PM
Haha! Almost exactly what I imagined!

I was hoping for the kids in the foreground and Randy Quaid's oddly-angled head, really.  Can't you cobble something together?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: ziggy starbucks on April 09, 2013, 10:43:30 PM
(http://i256.photobucket.com/albums/hh164/mm21_bucket/xmenerikisbananamanposter_zpse967f64d.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: babyshambler on April 09, 2013, 10:49:09 PM
[National Lampoon poster]

Remind me of this:

(http://img546.imageshack.us/img546/874/athfp.png)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: El Unicornio, mang on April 09, 2013, 10:53:50 PM
I was hoping for the kids in the foreground and Randy Quaid's oddly-angled head, really.  Can't you cobble something together?

I'd like to, but I have work to do, maybe later. I'm hoping Ziggy Starbucks or someone will save me the trouble though.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Phil_A on April 09, 2013, 11:20:25 PM
Speaking of Randy Quaid's head at an odd angle:

(http://img856.imageshack.us/img856/5134/kingpin.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: El Unicornio, mang on April 09, 2013, 11:21:54 PM
Sorry, this was the best I could do in short time

(http://img600.imageshack.us/img600/7497/vaco.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: SteveDave on April 09, 2013, 11:59:36 PM
Wow the Blu-Raymond has a commentary from the Griswold Family? In character?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: checkoutgirl on April 10, 2013, 09:50:55 AM
BTW, I think you've got the wrong idea checkoutgirl...

Maybe, but the first one I put up is a real poster for a Mahogany film and is pretty annoying. I mean, Mahogany has decided to take acting seriously for the last few years but before that he was happy to be the lust item in a load of chick flicks and the posters always seemed to have him leaning on something with a stupid grin on his boat. Look at this shit

(http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2009/09/24/mcconaughey-leaning.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: checkoutgirl on April 10, 2013, 09:54:36 AM
Here's a load of shit posters with people standing back to back for some reason.

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vzqpFzGl-sE/Trn5FPuTcFI/AAAAAAAAAm8/1FYgBLUIwkI/s1600/Movie%2BPosters%2Bleans.jpg)

I think I've seen Wild Target (2009).

It was shit. I find Emily Blunt inexplicably annoying.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Viero_Berlotti on April 10, 2013, 10:05:35 AM
I like the View To A Kill one, but only because it features Grace Jones.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Phil_A on April 10, 2013, 10:23:52 AM
Maybe, but the first one I put up is a real poster for a Mahogany film and is pretty annoying. I mean, Mahogany has decided to take acting seriously for the last few years but before that he was happy to be the lust item in a load of chick flicks and the posters always seemed to have him leaning on something with a stupid grin on his boat. Look at this shit

(http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2009/09/24/mcconaughey-leaning.jpg)

EDTV's the odd one out there, it's actually a good film.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on April 10, 2013, 03:10:20 PM
(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Boat-Trip2.png)

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Boat-Trip3.png)

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Boat-Trip.png)

Evidently they had access to a boat during the taking of Boat Trip. Presumably they had access to a camera. Obviously they had access to the cast of the film. So why not take a picture of the cast on the fucking boat?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on April 10, 2013, 03:49:50 PM
This one annoys me:

(http://aeternalisdeorcc.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/honey-i-shrunk-the-kids-original-1.jpeg)

Instead of taking the photograph during the making of the film when the "kids" were still shrunken, some wag has obviously put it together later using an artificial montaging technique.  If it was done for real there's no way the dog would be so comfortable with them sliding down its nose like that.  It would wonder why that was its repayment for helping them get from the garden to the house, then saving one of them from getting eaten in the breakfast cereal.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Lyfjaberg on April 10, 2013, 04:31:05 PM
This one annoys me:

(http://aeternalisdeorcc.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/honey-i-shrunk-the-kids-original-1.jpeg)

Your joking about the reality of shrinking kids aside[nb]Rick would never do that, because as all his fans know he is a deeply moral man who is committed to the memory of his wife[/nb], this is actually one of the -- if not THE -- best film posters here. And it all goes to show that lazy photoshopping is destroying modern civilisation.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Thomas on April 10, 2013, 04:56:23 PM
In that 'Photoshop Wrongs' thread there's a bit of chatter about the lack of drawn/painted posters in recent years. The one that bothers me is James Bond. It's just shiny photos of the main cast now.

Even video games, like Red Dead Redemption and GTA, get drawn imagery.[nb]Or imagery made to look drawn, at least.[/nb]
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Lyfjaberg on April 10, 2013, 05:03:49 PM
Even video games, like Red Dead Redemption and GTA, get drawn imagery.[nb]Or imagery made to look drawn, at least.[/nb]

http://www.digitaltutors.com/11/training.php?pid=262
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on April 11, 2013, 01:07:11 AM
(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Boat-Trip2.png)

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Boat-Trip3.png)

(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Boat-Trip.png)

Evidently they had access to a boat during the taking of Boat Trip. Presumably they had access to a camera. Obviously they had access to the cast of the film. So why not take a picture of the cast on the fucking boat?
Never mind that, they somehow managed to forget to credit Nigella Lawson, who seems to be one of the main cast.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on April 11, 2013, 09:09:37 AM
And Michael Palin, who appears to be doing his '80 Days Around The World' in the last image as two women unfathomably rub their arses on him.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on April 11, 2013, 02:31:29 PM
That woman on the right must be seven feet tall.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on April 12, 2013, 02:08:29 PM
(http://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/A-Thousand-Words.png)
In this poster Eddie Murphy appears to made of linoleum.

I'm guessing this is some type of Liar Liar stye comedy where a hapless Eddie Murphy can only say exactly 1,000 words before losing his voice forever. Forcing him to only speak in very short sentences. But before getting this curse he agreed to do a big speech at a friend's wedding in SIX MONTHS!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bad Ambassador on April 12, 2013, 07:51:44 PM
Better than that - when he says the thousandth word, he'll die.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on April 22, 2013, 11:09:29 AM
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/Zombieland-The-Series.png)

Look at the state of it.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on April 22, 2013, 12:51:05 PM
The series?

Because there aren't enough things about zombies.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on April 22, 2013, 12:58:04 PM
The series?

Something to do with Amazon's new self produced TV shows:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?docId=1001155581

Can't say I like the look of any of them.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on April 23, 2013, 01:17:47 AM
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/Scary-Movie-5.png)

Doing the poster for a Scary Movie movie is a bum deal. The problem is you're hamstrung by convention, because you have to use the same set-up as the previous films, with the cast sitting in the cinema.[nb](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/Scary-Movie-4.png)
Noted horror film Peter Jackson's King Kong being spoofed there.

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/Scary-Movie-3.png)
Ha it says Enema instead of Eminem. What wit!

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/Scary-Movie-2.png)
Huh-huh you said "come".
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/Scary-Movie.png)

So, about that "No sequel"...[/nb] A film like this relies on celebrity cameos, which they shoot here and there depending on everyone's schedule, so there's no guarantee you'll even get a good chunk of the cast together at the same time. And because there were never any group photos you just have to stick it all together in an unconvincing collage. Add some lame sight gags and a rubbish tagline and you're done. "I put the sin in sinister"? Rubbish.

There are actually several knocked-up fan-made posters for Scary Movie 5 dating back a couple of years (when they imagined Anna Faris would still be in it) and they're really no worse than the real thing which cost actual money to make. It's a damning indictment of the professionals.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Big Jack McBastard on April 23, 2013, 01:38:10 AM
(https://dl.dropbox.com/u/83292875/Posters/Thats-My-Boy.png)

Right arm on Sandler looking mighty broken there too.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Big Jack McBastard on April 23, 2013, 01:55:50 AM
That woman on the right must be seven feet tall.

Victoria Silvsted, she is gigantic in reality as well.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on April 23, 2013, 05:17:42 PM
CelebHeights tells me Roger Moore is 6ft, and she's 5ft 10.5, yet in that picture she's nearly as tall as him while bending over.

No excuse. Even though she's quite tall, it's still an impossibly sloppy job.

Good spot of Sandler's arm. Can't believe I missed it.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Big Jack McBastard on April 23, 2013, 06:21:06 PM
Obviously the cans/fluid there is at a Grubb (http://images.wikia.com/timanderic/images/2/25/Grub.JPG) level of technical accuracy as well but his left leg below the hem of the shorts is awfully suspicious too.

I wonder if the woman in the 'background' of the Boat Trip one could be used as a reference point to measure them.

I kind of like how awful/shit they are, the people making them should obviously not be being paid for their work but somehow a band of ropey photoshoppers have cornered an actual market, it give me hope.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on April 24, 2013, 03:50:08 PM
The Scary Movie people aren't going to miss the opportunity to use the VI for a sixth film, clearly.  Exciting.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on April 25, 2013, 05:07:06 AM
And then the seventh will obviously be SCARY MOVII.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on April 27, 2013, 12:29:29 AM
SCARY MCMXCIV
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Catalogue Trousers on April 28, 2013, 07:52:33 PM
Quote
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/Scary-Movie-5.png)

Noted horror film Ted being spoofed there. And just how rubbish is that big tongue coming out of I'm Evil's mouth?

Oh ho ho ho, his STIFFY is making a GHOST!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: QDRPHNC on April 28, 2013, 08:05:49 PM
Noted horror film Ted being spoofed there. And just how rubbish is that big tongue coming out of I'm Evil's mouth?

Oh ho ho ho, his STIFFY is making a GHOST!

Yep, not a single person, on any level, involved with this movie gives a solitary shit.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: spock rogers on May 02, 2013, 09:32:56 PM
Apparently this is the final poster for Man of Steel.
(http://media.aintitcool.com/media/uploads/2013/nordling/mansteel3.jpg)

That is fucking embarrassing.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on May 02, 2013, 09:38:10 PM
Surprised they didn't think of adding a bit of blur.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: olliebean on May 02, 2013, 11:37:50 PM
Surprised they didn't think of adding a bit of blur.

A nice bit of lens flare would have gone down a treat, as well.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Thomas on May 03, 2013, 01:09:36 AM
Apparently this is the final poster for Man of Steel.
(http://media.aintitcool.com/media/uploads/2013/nordling/mansteel3.jpg)

That is fucking embarrassing.

It looks like he's taken the photo himself using his phone.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: eluc55 on May 03, 2013, 01:26:11 AM
I love how unimpressed he looks in that photo. Almost miffed - like his wife's sent him down to the shop during the footy.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: El Unicornio, mang on May 03, 2013, 01:32:32 AM
I quite like it. Almost looks like it's moving if you scroll up and down. It's certainly not as bad as this

(http://www.impawards.com/1983/posters/superman_iii.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: eluc55 on May 03, 2013, 01:41:06 AM
To be honest I'm so hyped for Man of Steel now, they could have a poster of my mum's bare tits and I'd still run to the cinema with gay abandon.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on May 03, 2013, 12:11:11 PM
It looks like they hired Zack Morris off of Saved By The Bell to be Superman, as well.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on May 03, 2013, 12:16:46 PM
To be honest I'm so hyped for Man of Steel now, they could have a poster of my mum's bare tits and I'd still run to the cinema with gay abandon.

That isn't what makes a gay.  Start again.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: El Unicornio, mang on May 14, 2013, 05:47:09 PM
This isn't the right thread for this, but just to show that good modern film posters are possible

(http://static03.mediaite.com/themarysue/uploads/2013/05/Screen-Shot-2013-05-14-at-12.12.28-PM.png)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Catalogue Trousers on May 14, 2013, 10:38:36 PM
Unfortunately, that just makes me think of this:

(http://www.antoniomargheriti.com/images/Yor/yor01.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Jumble Cashback on May 14, 2013, 11:50:56 PM
I like how the first 'the' saps any possible urgency from the subtitle.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mcbpete on May 16, 2013, 06:06:55 PM
This isn't the right thread for this, but just to show that good modern film posters are possible

(http://static03.mediaite.com/themarysue/uploads/2013/05/Screen-Shot-2013-05-14-at-12.12.28-PM.png)
Yeah that pretty good but utterly ruined by the cheap overlay of the film's title/logo - a complete clash stylistically.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: spock rogers on June 13, 2013, 08:42:35 PM
First, here's the original pic of Melissa McCarthy from new comedy The Heat:
(http://i2.cdnds.net/13/24/300x225/movies_the-heat-shiznit.jpg)

Now, here's the poster:
(http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/melissa-mccarthy-airbrush-photoshop-the-heat-poster.jpg)

What the fucking fuck?!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: lazarou on June 14, 2013, 01:02:05 AM
What is happening with any of that. The face, the ridiculously long RPG thing, those... legs?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: phantom_power on June 14, 2013, 08:44:32 AM
The end of the RPG doesn't even stick out in the right place
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bored of Canada on August 05, 2013, 12:56:21 PM
Concerns have been raised today about the US covers of 'The Sapphires'.

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/74/The_Sapphires_poster.jpg/413px-The_Sapphires_poster.jpg)

'The Sapphires' was a film released last year, based on a true story about a group of Aboriginal women who started a soul band, they face immense racial prejudice and eventually go to Vietnam to sing for the US troops. It features a great little local cast but I'm sure the leads wouldn't be recognised anywhere outside of Australia[nb]Though the English apparently love our soap-operas, so you may recognise Deborah Mailman from The Secret Life Of Us.[/nb]. I saw it last year at the cinema and it was a relatively light yet heartwarming film with some good music.  What it does have, was Chris O'Dowd, in a supporting role playing their pathetic alchoholic manager, and he really elevates the film and gives it a much needed edge.

Thing is, the whole film deals with the point that these women were forced to overcome prejudice, they overcame racism to make their mark. And the new cover ironically does the exact thing which they struggle against in the film. In that they watermarked them in the background and stuck Chris O'Dowd front and centre in the poster. The leads of the film look like wispy blue farts coming out of his arse in the background. With lens flare stuck in too for good measure.

(http://images.smh.com.au/2013/08/04/4629217/art-353-sapphires-203-300x0.jpg)

Now, I understand the point behind that. People in the US don't know these Aboriginal women, and Chris O'Dowd's pretty big there now.
I remember thinking just how fantastic it was for the filmmakers to have him in it, as it gave the film marketability internationally.
But the poster literally kind of undermines the point of the film, and actually comes across as kind of offensive in that context...But it will also make them more successful.

Then again, I honestly think them making the most amount of money's the best thing, as it insures that everyone involved can get another opportunity to make a film. Then again the actual people the film is based on are very upset about it too, and I don't really think they give a shit about making the extra American dollars at this point, it was already a big success domestically and internationally for an Australian film, and they seemed like they more cared about getting their story told, as people previously didn't give a shit about a band of Aboriginal singers.

http://www.tonedeaf.com.au/news/local-news/332049/the-sapphires-slam-sexist-racist-cover-of-aussie-film.htm
 
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BritishHobo on August 06, 2013, 08:10:48 PM
Fucking hell, that is one of the stupidest design decisions I've seen in a long while. I'd hate to be the people who thought was a good idea.

Looking at it, I'd assume it was just one of a selection of those 'character posters' they sometimes do for children's films - putting O'Dowd front and centre is bad enough, but whose fucking idea was it to give him sole credit on the cover?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bored of Canada on August 07, 2013, 07:13:29 AM
Fucking hell, that is one of the stupidest design decisions I've seen in a long while. I'd hate to be the people who thought was a good idea.

Looking at it, I'd assume it was just one of a selection of those 'character posters' they sometimes do for children's films - putting O'Dowd front and centre is bad enough, but whose fucking idea was it to give him sole credit on the cover?

I mean, it makes sense though. In England and America, you're not going to recognise a group of Australian actors in some Australian film about Australia, it'll probably be a flippin' musical and shit. But if Bridesmaids/IT Crowd/Girls' very own Chris O'Dowd is in it, well, hey! Maybe it could be interesting. It elevates it in international audiences mind as a funny Chris O'Dowd film that potentially has him cracking jokes and singing James Brown songs. Maybe he'll do the splits in it and tear open his ballbag, then, like, has to finish off the set whilst singing in a comically high key. That'd be a hilarious set-piece in this imaginary film that the poster presents.

He's not the main character by any means, his presence is definitely felt throughout but it'd be the equivalent of marketing Bridesmaids in England by sticking him up front and centre and hiding Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph and the rest of the top billed cast behind him, perhaps presented as tiny little statuettes on a multi-tiered wedding cake in the background.  Chris O'Dowd stands up front, hanging some handcuffs off his finger whilst holding his finger on his other hand over his lips, shushing the viewer cheekily.

Because, who in England would have known those ladies prior to Bridesmaids?
 
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on August 07, 2013, 01:36:06 PM
Also turning them blue makes it harder to immediately tell that they're black.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on August 08, 2013, 07:52:35 AM
The Canyons is going to go down in history as one of the most difficult and fucked up shoots in a long time. One of the American mags had a set report that makes Cleopatra or Apocalypse Now look like chicken feed. So it's probably not surprising that the poster's cack:

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/The-Canyons.png)

Completely gratuitous big crystal of lens flare too. Meanwhile, it's been a long time since Nicolas Cage was in a good poster:

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/Left-Behind.png)

That trail of dark smoke looks like it was added using the Window Paint spray-can tool, and the title is like 15-year old Word Art. Awful. Next, we've got a total mess:

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/Pawn-Shop-Chronicles.png)

Not convincing enough to be a group shot, not imaginative enough to be a nice collage of actors. Just bad cut-outs. Buy an average person a copy of Photoshop and they could do better after one day of getting used to it. "In theaters and on-demand".
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on August 08, 2013, 08:03:41 AM
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/Lone-Ranger.png)

Urgh! And if you think that's bad, have a look at the full version:

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/Lone-Ranger3.png)

Talk about throwing the kitchen sink at it!

This one is better because at least it doesn't even try to look like a coherent scene:

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/Lone-Ranger2.png)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on August 09, 2013, 07:54:22 AM

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/83292875/Posters/Pawn-Shop-Chronicles.png)

Not convincing enough to be a group shot, not imaginative enough to be a nice collage of actors. Just bad cut-outs. Buy an average person a copy of Photoshop and they could do better after one day of getting used to it. "In theaters and on-demand".
Now, I understand with a low budget film, not all the actors are going to be on set at the same time. Fair enough. But if you're going to do a poster, why not have all your actors take a few photos where they're all doing the same pose, or look roughly like they're in the same place at the same time?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bored of Canada on August 09, 2013, 08:12:45 AM
Now, I understand with a low budget film, not all the actors are going to be on set at the same time. Fair enough. But if you're going to do a poster, why not have all your actors take a few photos where they're all doing the same pose, or look roughly like they're in the same place at the same time?

They literally look like cardboard cutouts. Where are you finding these Nuclear Optimism? I don't recall film posters being as rubbish as the ones you post? Do certain countries just have shit graphic designers, or are you the one person who sees the truth in the land of the blind?

Seriously. You're opening my eyes. I only glance at posters generally, if they've always been as bad as this, then I've not noticed it till you pointed it out.

It's very rare I see a poster/cover I like. The last one I did was fancy was the original one for Field in England.
Here we generally get some very nice ones. The main DVD chain store over here sometimes even commissions artists to design their own and sells them instead.
Got this sweet arse'd minimalist In Bruges blu-ray out of that.
(http://www.jbhifionline.com.au/rkt/MEDIUM//44/44/4444887.jpg)

And got a good friend this one for her birthday, I think[nb]I mean, I think it was her birthday. Though we have fallen out of touch as of late.[nb]THANKS FOR FLIPPIN' REMINDING ME. Christ. You big jerk.[/nb][/nb]:
(http://www.jbhifionline.com.au/rkt/MEDIUM//44/44/4444888.jpg)

 

Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: gout_pony on August 09, 2013, 08:30:04 PM
Japanese poster for Peter Jackson's Braindead:

(http://mondoexploito.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/braindead.jpg)

Inept in the sense of providing an accurate depiction of the character of Nurse Mctavish:

(http://www.bmoviegraveyard.com/reviews/D/DeadAlive/DeadAlive005.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Gavin M on August 09, 2013, 09:11:42 PM
(http://www.filmofilia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/The-To-Do-List-Poster1.jpg)

The unconvincing collage of people of bad enough, but what really grates is how the list is laid out.  Why would all the lines ending in '..... Job' start in a different position to the rest of it?  Surely they could have done something?  Also, possibly the least alluring picture of Aubrey in existence.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: clingfilm portent on August 09, 2013, 11:03:45 PM
Inept in the sense of providing an accurate depiction of the character of Nurse Mctavish

But brilliant in every other way. Thanks for sharing it!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: El Unicornio, mang on August 22, 2013, 05:59:25 AM
http://www.filmofilia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/LAST-VEGAS-Poster.jpg

I get the impression that those heads are all taken from stills from other movies the actors have been in, pasted onto the bodies of models.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: kidsick5000 on August 22, 2013, 07:47:56 AM
http://www.filmofilia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/LAST-VEGAS-Poster.jpg

I get the impression that those heads are all taken from stills from other movies the actors have been in, pasted onto the bodies of models.

As composites go, it one of the better ones. In fact, it might be a genuine group shout just overly-photoshopped.
But what struck me first was Douglas, DeNiro, Freeman and Trigger?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Default to the negative on August 22, 2013, 08:21:03 AM
It's a pity that the Red Letter Media guys didn't refer to the posters when they were picking apart Sandler, because they really help to illustrate their point about how the budgets for his films aren't reflected in the end product.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: small_world on August 22, 2013, 08:30:44 AM
http://www.filmofilia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/LAST-VEGAS-Poster.jpg

I get the impression that those heads are all taken from stills from other movies the actors have been in, pasted onto the bodies of models.

If DeNiro is in that, why is he not on the poster?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: SteveDave on August 22, 2013, 09:38:21 AM
This might've been mentioned before but Marvel appear to have a formula for their posters now

(http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l23/SimonLove1977/03_zpscdf4bf0e.jpg) (http://s92.photobucket.com/user/SimonLove1977/media/03_zpscdf4bf0e.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mcbpete on August 22, 2013, 11:09:45 AM
They look like updated Mills and Boon book covers
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on August 22, 2013, 12:16:42 PM
Reminds me of Frank Frazetta (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Frazetta)'s (of Conan the Barbarian book cover fame) stuff. He loved them powerful pyramid/triangle compositions

(http://scifiward.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/FrankFrazetta-Conan-the-Adventurer1.jpg)

(http://www.wired.com/geekdad/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/conan.jpg)

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dXnETd-i0FM/Tzzbke-VuKI/AAAAAAAAFA4/Y6GtKKuGozU/s400/frank_frazetta_afightingmanofmars.jpg)

(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3546/4597173328_88548d5d39_o.jpg)

And the scantily clad human form, he loved them too (seriously, he was very good at drawing humans, making them feel solid, real and moving)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Lyfjaberg on August 22, 2013, 04:05:02 PM
Film posters are sexist. You never see a strong, independent woman cradling a man, as he sheds a tear of violation after having been mated with against his will.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on August 22, 2013, 05:28:37 PM
This tag-line is how your friend at school would excitedly begin describing the film to you.

(http://www.impawards.com/1997/posters/air_force_one_ver1.jpg)

I suppose in that way it's quite a concise summation of the premise, which would make it the opposite of inept.

But isn't it all a bit too "does exactly what it says on the tin"? 

How much did someone get paid for typing that?

Did their boss not want them to come up with something like "The president's problems are about to get sky high" or "With this guy as president, would you attack America?" Well they're both shit, but they could have put a bit of effort in.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Big Jack McBastard on August 22, 2013, 06:22:37 PM
(http://www.filmofilia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/The-To-Do-List-Poster1.jpg)

The unconvincing collage of people of bad enough, but what really grates is how the list is laid out.  Why would all the lines ending in '..... Job' start in a different position to the rest of it?  Surely they could have done something?  Also, possibly the least alluring picture of Aubrey in existence.

Aren't they just implying that Blow/Hand Job is already ticked off the list?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on August 22, 2013, 08:09:27 PM
This isn't an inept film poster as such, but more a case of bad positioning, as every morning I have to change at Piccadilly Circus from the Bakerloo Line to the Piccadilly Line, and I was walk down the stairs I'm greeted by this:

(http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb300/smallmanbighorse/uck-in-Love_zps2aed832c.jpg) (http://s205.photobucket.com/user/smallmanbighorse/media/uck-in-Love_zps2aed832c.jpg.html)

It's worth visiting Piccadilly Circus for that alone!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Sexton Brackets Drugbust on August 22, 2013, 08:21:14 PM
This isn't an inept film poster as such, but more a case of bad positioning, as every morning I have to change at Piccadilly Circus from the Bakerloo Line to the Piccadilly Line, and I was walk down the stairs I'm greeted by this:

(http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb300/smallmanbighorse/uck-in-Love_zps2aed832c.jpg) (http://s205.photobucket.com/user/smallmanbighorse/media/uck-in-Love_zps2aed832c.jpg.html)

It's worth visiting Piccadilly Circus for that alone!

Looks like it stars Walter White.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on August 22, 2013, 10:54:24 PM

(http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb300/smallmanbighorse/uck-in-Love_zps2aed832c.jpg) (http://s205.photobucket.com/user/smallmanbighorse/media/uck-in-Love_zps2aed832c.jpg.html)


Can you really use a quote from "Vue Magazine" as a testimonial?

Trying to pass off some PR fluff from an advertisement as a review. All that does is make me assume it's getting savaged in actual reviews.

It's an inept film poster just for that.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Thursday on August 22, 2013, 11:46:24 PM

  Also, possibly the least alluring picture of Aubrey in existence.

It does look a bit like one of those "airbrushed to make her adhere to the focus grouped, scientific definition of what an attractive face shape should be, so clean up anything quirky or unusual that actually makes her attractive" pictures.

See also

(http://i.huffpost.com/gen/258677/ZOOEY-DESCHANEL.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Nuclear Optimism on August 23, 2013, 12:17:41 AM
Where are you finding these Nuclear Optimism?

Oh here and there. There and abouts. Sometimes I see them on IMDb, sometimes I see them on Rotten Tomatoes, sometimes various film poster websites, and sometimes my colleagues email them to me (bitter, low-rung graphic designers doing menus for pizza parlours and business cards for grain salesmen, while these hacks get to work in films. It's just like how everyone on CaB is a failed comedy writer and so hates all comedy, or so the story goes).
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Sexton Brackets Drugbust on August 23, 2013, 01:38:11 AM
It does look a bit like one of those "airbrushed to make her adhere to the focus grouped, scientific definition of what an attractive face shape should be, so clean up anything quirky or unusual that actually makes her attractive" pictures.

See also

(http://i.huffpost.com/gen/258677/ZOOEY-DESCHANEL.jpg)

Christ, they supremely fucked that up!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Gavin M on August 23, 2013, 02:01:46 AM
Aren't they just implying that Blow/Hand Job is already ticked off the list?

I didn't make myself clear.  The tick isn't the problem.  The problem is her left hand - it's obviously meant to be covering up the words that end in job.  So why has she written French Kiss in central alignment, then shift everything to the left for the lines directly below it?  Maybe she should put THAT on her to do list, eh?!?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on August 23, 2013, 11:00:10 AM
It does look a bit like one of those "airbrushed to make her adhere to the focus grouped, scientific definition of what an attractive face shape should be, so clean up anything quirky or unusual that actually makes her attractive" pictures.

See also

(http://i.imgur.com/PmR0azZ.png)
Holy hell! Wow!!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: daf on August 23, 2013, 02:00:09 PM
Aren't they just implying that Blow/Hand Job is already ticked off the list?

Looks like she's just reminding herself to have a massive dump, before setting forth to find some gainful employment . . . and then giving someone a blowie.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: kidsick5000 on August 24, 2013, 05:53:27 AM
sometimes my colleagues email them to me (bitter, low-rung graphic designers doing menus for pizza parlours and business cards for grain salesmen, while these hacks get to work in films.

A friend briefly worked for a design agency that did these film posters in the early part of last decade. Briefly because it was soul destroying. He tried to pitch something artier – no dice. It's a case of 'here are the images we want to use, in this style, this font.' Joyless.
I doubt the bigger films try too hard anyway. There's a legion of Olly Moss-es willing to redesign and inadvertantly promote your film on tumblr and deviantart.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Povidone on August 27, 2013, 12:19:41 PM
Pacino's head looks photoshopped on, although probably isn't, still a fuck awful poster.

(http://www.impawards.com/tv/posters/phil_spector.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Default to the negative on August 27, 2013, 12:35:14 PM
All the posters and DVD covers for Audition are inept in the sense that they're massive spoilers.

(http://images.moviepostershop.com/audition-movie-poster-2002-1020196525.jpg)   (http://media.monstersandcritics.com/articles2/1499185/article_images/Audition.DVD.jpg) (http://thewolfmancometh.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/audition-poster.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on August 27, 2013, 12:54:33 PM
I really wish they'd played the marketing for Audition completely straight as a rom-com; pastel fonts, happy smiling couple, no clue about the horrors within.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Sexton Brackets Drugbust on August 27, 2013, 01:41:01 PM
I really wish they'd played the marketing for Audition completely straight as a rom-com; pastel fonts, happy smiling couple, no clue about the horrors within.

Quite. I also think it should serve as the template for all romantic comedies. Imagine Love Actually or Along Came Polly mixed with Audition.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on August 27, 2013, 01:44:47 PM
Imagine Love Actually or Along Came Polly mixed with Audition.

100% less vomit inducing for starters.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on August 27, 2013, 07:35:55 PM
"Oh, thank God - a torture scene. For a horrible moment I was afraid it was going to be a montage of moments in love set to a whimsically-chosen golden oldie."
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on September 06, 2013, 11:29:45 PM
What's wrong with their faces?

(http://i60.fastpic.ru/big/2013/0828/e8/8ea55c72c0c2641927820cca359b10e8.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: El Unicornio, mang on September 07, 2013, 12:05:47 AM
I really wish they'd played the marketing for Audition completely straight as a rom-com; pastel fonts, happy smiling couple, no clue about the horrors within.

Me too, but then the problem would be that loads of girly romcom lovers would rent it and hate it, and most people who actually like that type of horror film would avoid it until they found out that it wasn't a romcom, which would then defeat the point of it having the romcom cover.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on September 07, 2013, 12:40:34 AM
Me too, but then the problem would be that loads of girly romcom lovers would rent it and hate it,

That's the idea
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bored of Canada on September 07, 2013, 12:48:56 AM
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/1150282_666886156674859_1537854616_n.jpg)

This one's just popped up in my facebook feed. It looks all wrong. I can't figure it out. The repeated SWAT members, the odd looking arms, the clearly photoshopped and airbrushed face. The flat void they're all in. The 2D vehicles. All up, it's not the most awful thing ever, but all the tiny details go into creating that uncanny valley feeling that just makes my brain double-take.

What's wrong with their faces?

(http://i60.fastpic.ru/big/2013/0828/e8/8ea55c72c0c2641927820cca359b10e8.jpg)

Yikes.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: SteveDave on September 07, 2013, 01:25:12 AM
What's wrong with their faces?

(http://i60.fastpic.ru/big/2013/0828/e8/8ea55c72c0c2641927820cca359b10e8.jpg)

Is bottom left Chunk from the Goonies now?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shameless Custard on November 10, 2013, 05:24:27 AM
What is going on with her in the middle?

(http://s0.discshop.se/img/front_large/113320/as_cool_as_i_am_blu_ray.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Olarrio on November 10, 2013, 07:34:04 PM
(http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/Olarrio/mr-beans-holiday_zpsf10bc156.jpg) (http://s70.photobucket.com/user/Olarrio/media/mr-beans-holiday_zpsf10bc156.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Johnny Textface on November 10, 2013, 09:13:34 PM
(http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i91/Olarrio/mr-beans-holiday_zpsf10bc156.jpg) (http://s70.photobucket.com/user/Olarrio/media/mr-beans-holiday_zpsf10bc156.jpg.html)

Whats supposed to be happening under the suitcase?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on December 13, 2013, 07:25:53 AM
(http://pic.myegy.com/images_orginal/2013/Dec/09/army-of-the-damned-1386601321.jpg)

Two things.
1. Rather than displaying any emotion traditionally associated with film posters, this chap looks like he's halfway through the easy crossword in the Daily Star
2. He and the army of the damned are facing in the same direction, making it look like he's on their side

Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Benjaminos on December 14, 2013, 01:58:00 PM
This isn't an inept film poster as such, but more a case of bad positioning, as every morning I have to change at Piccadilly Circus from the Bakerloo Line to the Piccadilly Line, and I was walk down the stairs I'm greeted by this:

(http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb300/smallmanbighorse/uck-in-Love_zps2aed832c.jpg) (http://s205.photobucket.com/user/smallmanbighorse/media/uck-in-Love_zps2aed832c.jpg.html)

It's worth visiting Piccadilly Circus for that alone!

Ooh, Reg Kinnear. I like him.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on December 20, 2013, 10:04:27 AM
Bloodsport 2:

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_A7OUOMmzptE/TOr6crCi4vI/AAAAAAAAFW8/o-uU53hq4tM/s1600/Bloodsport2DVDcoverart.jpg)

Bloodsport 3:

(http://www.moviepilot.de/files/images/0603/5846/z_article.jpg)

Bloodsport 4:

(http://images.esellerpro.com/2340/I/978/6/Bloodsport%204.jpg)

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm as big a fan of that pose as you're going to find. It's just...maybe change it up a little?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on December 21, 2013, 03:29:26 PM
A "Kumite" sounds like something you'd expect to see in a Doctor Who porn parody. I'm probably pronouncing it wrong.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Big Jack McBastard on December 22, 2013, 05:43:08 PM
I believe it's 'Kuma-tay', kind of like how Pootie Tang spoke.

Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on December 23, 2013, 10:08:48 AM
Seriously you guys, could you not have tried a little harder to make it look like Craig Robinson is actually buried in the sand?

(http://cf.badassdigest.com/_uploads/images/30723/peeples__span.jpg)

Although maybe they're relying on scenes like this distracting people:

(http://content.internetvideoarchive.com/content/photos/8320/54572_034.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Santa's Boyfriend on December 23, 2013, 10:18:50 AM
A "Kumite" sounds like something you'd expect to see in a Doctor Who porn parody. I'm probably pronouncing it wrong.

/ku:ˈməteɪ/
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on December 27, 2013, 03:09:22 PM
Let's play "find a film poster that will never, ever be used again":

(http://www.tofes630.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/The-Squeeze-1987.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Big Jack McBastard on December 28, 2013, 01:29:13 AM
Already posted elsewhere:
(http://e.movie.as/p/38086.jpg)

One glance and we know this is bilge, the concept, talent and tagline are toss.

Nothing there is real, every element and layer is so cartoony it almost hurts to look at.

I think what annoys me most is the expressions on the other people in the bus, the curly headed little smarmy shit (obviously the twerp trying to bang the daughter) doing a simp grin and some silly mare having an apparently hilarious chat with Kryten behind him, seconds after some giant nutter punched their bus to a halt.

(http://i740.photobucket.com/albums/xx44/Big_Jack_McB/38086_zps5f007358.jpg)

Would you be sat there with that look on your face?

WOULD YOU!?!!

Fuckssakes.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Big Jack McBastard on December 28, 2013, 02:06:52 AM
What's wrong with their faces?

(http://i60.fastpic.ru/big/2013/0828/e8/8ea55c72c0c2641927820cca359b10e8.jpg)

Top right looks like Gollum found the wig bin.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on December 28, 2013, 12:14:51 PM
Bottom left looks like a CGI version of Piers Morgan.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: El Unicornio, mang on December 28, 2013, 12:43:04 PM
Bottom right looks like Alfie's cast-off in Eastenders
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on December 28, 2013, 01:09:13 PM
Looking at it again, the two women are the same, aren't they? Just different hair.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Big Jack McBastard on December 28, 2013, 08:47:28 PM
Ah I have a theory now, Hollywood poster.DVD cover makers can't justify their jobs at this point unless they're changing everything. If they took a great shot of the crew on location and whacked that on the cover then where would the Photoshop Poster Guy be?

Up shit creek is where.

So they slice an dice faces with bodies and blur and bloom and cut and paste in a frenzy, layer upon mask, shadow and gradient, clone and air-brush until they've made such a meal of it that no-one could replicate quite the same level of 'other' that pervades it.

All the elements are 'there', but they're not..

Are they making them like this to disconcert us? Put us off balance and make us look more closely at them just because they're so bloody weird to the eye?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Onken on January 02, 2014, 07:57:29 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/Rn5LCHs.jpg?1) (http://i.imgur.com/k65uWXL.jpg?1)

I watched Castaway on The Moon yesterday morning not knowing anything about it and was blown away by how brilliant it was. The DVD's available have terrible artwork that would have put me off ever going near it. I'd feel embarrassed and in need issuing strong reassurance's of it's quality before handing either out to people with my recommendation attached.

(http://i.imgur.com/ugQU2xj.jpg?1)

It has a nice blu-ray release in Good Korea but most people haven't caught up with that medium yet. If you haven't heard of it, don't watch the trailer just go download it. It's a very touching comedy about a failed suicide attempt and was the most perfect film I could have chosen to put on for the occasion.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on January 12, 2014, 12:57:21 AM
(http://atthemovieswithsilver.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/the-frozen-ground.jpg)

"Based on a true story" about a photoshopped Nicolas Cage befriending a tiny helicopter.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: SteveDave on January 13, 2014, 10:16:02 PM
The one on the underground at the moment for Osidge, Something County has Benedict Cummerbund poking his shark-like face out to the left of Meryl Streep. It doesn't look right.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mcbpete on January 14, 2014, 11:41:39 AM
This one annoys me every time I walk past it on my way to work. And it features a common issue -

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fyQSreyLUFI/UsCTxJmoCJI/AAAAAAAAN1Q/iXGcabwS31g/s1600/American-Hustle-movie-poster-review.jpg)

Why ... why don't they put it so the names match the people underneath. If they're going for the most famous person on the poster listed first then why not put the picture of that person in the same place as they're clearly photoshops from different shoots.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Jerzy Bondov on January 14, 2014, 11:49:41 AM
What are you talking about, the names match up fine. Bradley Cooper has nice tits doesn't she?

[Spoiler]Alternative, meme cut: Jennifer Lawrence has let himself go.[/Spoiler]
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: stunted on January 14, 2014, 11:56:34 AM
They've missed out Steve Earle's name completely.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Wet Blanket on January 14, 2014, 01:03:44 PM
Why ... why don't they put it so the names match the people underneath. If they're going for the most famous person on the poster listed first then why not put the picture of that person in the same place as they're clearly photoshops from different shoots.

Where you go on the billing is subject to all sorts of contract negotiations - it'll be in Jeremy Renner's contract that he gets third billing over Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence, even though he's a minor character by comparison, and Lawrence herself will have bargained for that 'and'.

The images meanwhile are more reflective of the characters' relative status in the film - you couldn't have Renner in the middle when Bale's is the main protagonist.

It sounds silly but it really can be a deal breaker. A famous example is the Towering Inferno poster, where the only way to placate both Paul Newman's and Steve McQueens egos was to give Steve McQueen first billing on the poster but place Newman's name higher up.

Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mcbpete on January 14, 2014, 01:53:31 PM
Didn't they also have the same amount of lines - or is that an urban myth ?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Cleaners From Venus on January 14, 2014, 01:57:45 PM
Didn't they also have the same amount of lines - or is that an urban myth ?
Yep, that's right and they were paid exactly the same as each other.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on January 14, 2014, 02:58:13 PM
Okay, not a film poster at all, but the front cover of the new Radio Times is pretty funny. I reckon the baby was crying his eyes out the entire time and that, looking like he’s taking a big shit, is the only usable photo they got from the session. Miranda Hart’s overbite is just an added plus.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on January 14, 2014, 10:08:55 PM
I notice on the American Hustle one they've credited Christian Bale instead of Matthew Holness. What a mistake!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: El Unicornio, mang on January 30, 2014, 12:45:40 AM
Not entirely relevant to this thread, but first image from the new Ninja Turtles film from Michael Bay is getting a lot of flak because they appear to have lips

(http://i.imgur.com/y4rGiis.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: eluc55 on January 30, 2014, 12:50:07 AM
Nice to see Danny DeVito playing Leonardo in this one.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Thomas on January 30, 2014, 12:53:07 AM
what the hell is going on there
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on January 30, 2014, 07:13:39 AM
Are Eastman and Laird anything to do with this one?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Phil_A on January 30, 2014, 12:08:12 PM
Are Eastman and Laird anything to do with this one?

Fuck, no. It's another Michael Bay-produced atrocity that he's been threatening to dump on the world for the last few years, which sounds like it's probably going to have the most tenuous possible connection to the original concept(at one point Bay was talking about having them be aliens rather than turtles(?), but seems to've gone back on that now). I believe Eastman & Laird both sold off their individual stake in the franchise some time ago, so they're well out of this.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 30, 2014, 12:23:16 PM
If ever the tiresome phrase "What is point" should be used, it is with that fucking news.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Brundle-Fly on January 30, 2014, 04:03:15 PM
This one annoys me every time I walk past it on my way to work. And it features a common issue -

(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fyQSreyLUFI/UsCTxJmoCJI/AAAAAAAAN1Q/iXGcabwS31g/s1600/American-Hustle-movie-poster-review.jpg)

Why ... why don't they put it so the names match the people underneath. If they're going for the most famous person on the poster listed first then why not put the picture of that person in the same place as they're clearly photoshops from different shoots.

The bloke on the far left looks like a handsome Eddie Marsan
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on January 30, 2014, 10:51:02 PM
The bloke on the far left looks like a handsome Eddie Marsan
Clearly they've gone to the trouble of hiring Eddie Marsan, Matthew Holness and Lucy Punch. They should have left out Nicole Kidman and Jason Bateman and used two other people Edgar Wright is associated with.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on April 15, 2014, 11:39:09 PM
(http://www.pasatiempopictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/TheLovePunch_iTunes_Poster-390x585.jpg)

If you look at Brosnan's shoulders, his hands could never be in those places.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: SavageHedgehog on May 30, 2014, 01:31:18 PM
(http://cdn-static.denofgeek.com/sites/denofgeek/files/styles/insert_main_wide_image/public/4/14//left_behind.jpg?itok=UBrKBhcO)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Indomitable Spirit on May 30, 2014, 01:40:51 PM
Nicolas Cage going broke and being legally obliged to make any movie offered to him is the my favourite thing ever.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Van Dammage on May 30, 2014, 02:42:37 PM
(http://cdn-static.denofgeek.com/sites/denofgeek/files/styles/insert_main_wide_image/public/4/14//left_behind.jpg?itok=UBrKBhcO)

Is that poster real?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Utter Shit on May 30, 2014, 02:44:35 PM
Assuming the film's title implies that they were left behind in the burning city shown in the poster, why are the characters so far away from it? They seem to be the only cunts that escaped.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on May 30, 2014, 03:02:10 PM
That's not what the title means.  It simply means that Nicholas Cage is aiming his arse to our left at all times for the purposes of the movie and its promotional material.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Utter Shit on May 30, 2014, 03:05:42 PM
Do you reckon there's anyone in the world called Chad that isn't an absolute prick?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on May 30, 2014, 03:28:37 PM
Do you reckon there's anyone in the world called Chad that isn't an absolute prick?

It depends if it his name or just what they call him.  Anyone called Chad must be an absolute prick.  But I can reckon a guy might be named Chad and insist nobody call him it.  He wouldn't be an absolute prick at all.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Utter Shit on May 30, 2014, 03:31:34 PM
I can't imagine anyone raised by parents who named their child Chad could possess that kind of self-awareness. His lifed was over the moment he was named Chad. Arguably before that.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on May 30, 2014, 03:46:40 PM
Is Chad short for something? 'Chadworth' or 'Chadwick' maybe?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Utter Shit on May 30, 2014, 03:49:34 PM
Chadam.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: lazarou on May 30, 2014, 04:08:23 PM
Assuming the film's title implies that they were left behind in the burning city shown in the poster, why are the characters so far away from it? They seem to be the only cunts that escaped.
It's "Left Behind" as in Left Behind after the Rapture, so I suppose everywhere would be burning.

Nice to see the series having a decent attempt at one-upping their game (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left_Behind:_Eternal_Forces) from a few years back.

Quote
In the single-player campaign, the player controls the Tribulation Force, a Christian group in a post-Rapture New York City, who are combating the influence of the Global Community, the world government led by the Antichrist Nicolae Carpathia. The player directs the actions of the main characters (Rayford Steele, Cameron "Buck" Williams, Chloe Steele, and Bruce Barnes) and the Tribulation Force's units in an effort to defeat the Global Community by converting neutral and Global Community-allied civilians to their side and only using lethal force when necessary (ex.Global Community Army). But the player's main goal is to use conversion rather than violence, only resorting to combat when necessary, since killing causes the "spirit level" of the player's units to drop. If the "spirit level" of a player's unit drops too low, the unit will turn neutral or defect to the GC, which can cause the player to lose the game.

Rayford Steele. Amazing scenes.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on May 30, 2014, 04:22:07 PM
It's "Left Behind" as in Left Behind after the Rapture, so I suppose everywhere would be burning.

And also the thing I said about the way Nicholas Cage is contractually obliged to angle his arse for this film.  Just thought I'd point out that you being right doesn't make me wrong.  We are both correct.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Subtle Mocking on July 29, 2014, 01:24:27 PM
Inept or unfortunate coincidence?

(http://cdn1.vox-cdn.com/assets/4830080/tmnt-560.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Harpo Speaks on July 29, 2014, 03:13:22 PM
Is it the Australian poster? It comes out in August in the US. And looks terrible.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Rolf Lundgren on July 29, 2014, 06:28:14 PM
(http://www.bhmpics.com/thumbs/the_expendables_3_poster-t3.jpg)

I can't believe there wasn't at least one opportunity where at least a few cast members were together to take a picture. It looks like every single one of them has been copy and pasted from somewhere else.

- Harrison Ford stuck behind some guy I've never heard of
- Antonio Banderas resting his hand on his knee/Wesley Snipes' shoulder
- Jet Li looking like a 13 year old
- What the fuck is Frasier doing there???!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BritishHobo on July 29, 2014, 11:40:45 PM
You'd think by now film producers would know that maybe they ought to set aside five minutes or so during filming, when the cast are already together, to just take some fucking photographs for promo material.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on July 31, 2014, 10:40:57 PM
I can kind of understand it with that one though. Most are probably single-scene glorified cameos and would only have been on set for about two days of lucrative, undemanding work. Apparently Bruce Willis isn't in this one cos he wanted more than a million dollars a day for a weekend of turning up for his planned bit. Half the blokes in that picture have probably never met each other.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: DukeDeMondo on January 14, 2015, 02:50:21 AM
Not a poster, but this artwork for the new Region America Blu-Ray release of My Left Foot is fucking unbelievable.

(http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51AzpxylVTL.jpg)

Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Leo2112 on January 14, 2015, 01:27:58 PM
Robert De Niro had a small supporting role in 'Born to Win' in 1971.  You might be a bit misled about this fact from the cover though -

(http://s30.postimg.org/gsscbjiy9/MV5_BMTcw_Mz_A5_Nz_A3_Nl5_BMl5_Ban_Bn_Xk_Ft_ZTcw_MDQz_MTcy_MQ.jpg)


More amusing is this one where his face is pushed into a picture watching over the lead actors like a giant sun -

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e0/Dvd_Born_to_Win.jpg)


It's not even a picture of his character from the film, it's just a Robert De Niro picture they found and stuck in.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on January 14, 2015, 01:31:08 PM
That's really funny.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shaky on January 15, 2015, 06:27:36 AM
Time to chuck this classic in again:

(http://i.imgur.com/rLIqpy3.jpg)

Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on January 15, 2015, 06:50:09 AM
Time to chuck this classic in again:

It's always really clever when time-based films are released or rereleased with a tagline featuring the word "time".

I've lost track of the number of times "It's About Time!!" appears on anything time travel related that's been away for a while before coming back.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Kane Jones on January 15, 2015, 07:23:25 AM
Ha. 'It's about time'.  Brilliant.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on January 15, 2015, 08:17:14 AM
Ha. 'It's about time'.  Brilliant.

In particular Doctor Who takes every opportunity to pretend it's a new tagline.  The Paul McGann TV Movie may have been the first to do it with "He's back.... and it's about time!!" but it's reappeared several times to promote Doctor Who since, and it's never stopped being so intrinsically smug.

Do a google image search for "it's about time"; go on.  Everyone who's ever used those three words on a poster or as a title thinks they are SO CLEVER FOR COMING UP WITH IT.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shaky on January 15, 2015, 12:08:10 PM
It's always really clever when time-based films are released or rereleased with a tagline featuring the word "time".

I've lost track of the number of times "It's About Time!!" appears on anything time travel related that's been away for a while before coming back.

Fair dues; the first person to come up with that tag was probably a genius, but it's had deminishing returns ever since.

The related trailer must also contain the line - "xxxxx xxxxxxxxx" is about to have the TIME OF HIS LIFE!"
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on January 10, 2016, 08:43:33 AM
Okay, it's a shot from a film and not a film poster, but this thread is great so it deserves bumping.

"Assassin's Bullet". Christian Slater, Timothy Spall, Donald Sutherland. Here's a bit where Slater is looking at photos of him and his dead wife, although it seems her face is several feet closer to the camera than his:
(https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1575/24261838536_ecaa3a6d06_c.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shameless Custard on January 10, 2016, 11:33:51 AM
Heh, it's like those pictures on Facebook when saddoes pretend they have a girlfriend and photoshop one in
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on January 10, 2016, 11:38:06 AM
That's inept by any standards.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: clingfilm portent on January 10, 2016, 11:41:21 AM

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e0/Dvd_Born_to_Win.jpg)


The tagline for that one could have been "Ever feel like you're being watched?"
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: The Region Legion on January 13, 2016, 06:06:40 PM
Why ... why don't they put it so the names match the people underneath. If they're going for the most famous person on the poster listed first then why not put the picture of that person in the same place as they're clearly photoshops from different shoots.

There is actually a reason for this. It's something to do with actors or, more likely, their agents recognising that top billing and positioning on the poster were two different things and could be negotiated for differently. So Christian Bale takes top billing and front center position on that poster, but Bradley Cooper gets first on the left, Jennifer Lawrence gets 2nd row on the right but the "and" that makes it look important that she's in it, Amy Adams gets 2nd from the left but 4th billing and Jeremy Renner gets last in the row but central billing on the name.

The Japanese poster is different (https://www.cinematerial.com/movies/american-hustle-i1800241/p/prihmppx) and although I don't understand it, all the positions will have been decided specifically not just "oh, I guess we'll whack that one there...". Whoever is a bigger draw to the Japanese audiences maybe? They read from right to left after all - Jennifer Lawrence is, arguably, the world's biggest female film star right now, Jeremy Renner was in the Avengers... it sort of makes sense until Amy Adams coming before Cooper and Bale. Dunno.

Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on January 13, 2016, 11:57:21 PM
The tagline for that one could have been "Ever feel like you're being watched?"

Or "Ever feel like the sunset is fucked?"
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on February 28, 2016, 01:59:23 AM
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b7/The_Linguini_Incident.jpg)

This looks like a bad photoshop. But no, it's real.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on April 29, 2016, 05:10:28 PM
(http://projectfreetvshow.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/mBHYoXSCAV9YXTh1ZxLeShtdJse.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on April 29, 2016, 05:44:33 PM
(http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj506/Chuckopixs/cellposter_zpskshdoa5z.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: clingfilm portent on April 30, 2016, 04:28:51 PM
The tagline for that one could have been "Ever feel like you're being watched?"

Which no longer makes sense with the image they've replaced it with.

It used to be this:
(http://i43.tower.com/images/mm107042595/born-win-robert-de-niro-dvd-cover-art.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on June 29, 2016, 05:06:08 PM
There could be a separate thread for inept Nicolas Cage posters

(http://alabamanewscenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/USS-Indianopolis-poster1.jpg)
(http://media.tumblr.com/2ae82cbaed2eee230ced6fc735542177/tumblr_inline_mozijh9ujw1qz4rgp.jpg)
(http://moviecultists.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Ghost-Rider-Spirit-of-Vengeance-French-movie-poster-575x769.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on June 29, 2016, 06:41:20 PM
Lest we forget:

(http://reliancehvg.co.in/store/images/P/Bangkok-Dangerous-DVD-Inlay1.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: marquis_de_sad on June 30, 2016, 12:44:58 AM
Lest we forget:

(http://reliancehvg.co.in/store/images/P/Bangkok-Dangerous-DVD-Inlay1.jpg)

His left arm looks like a flat binbag.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: MojoJojo on June 30, 2016, 09:49:49 AM
He has the expression of a hypochondriac who has just found a lump under his armpit, and thinks it might be cancer.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bhazor on June 30, 2016, 10:20:32 AM
(http://www.filmofilia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/The-To-Do-List-Poster1.jpg)

The unconvincing collage of people of bad enough, but what really grates is how the list is laid out.  Why would all the lines ending in '..... Job' start in a different position to the rest of it?  Surely they could have done something?  Also, possibly the least alluring picture of Aubrey in existence.

Is giving a guy a blowjob really something a girl has to work towards? I mean in my experience just yawn in mixed company and someones going to put some body part in your mouth. Its also noteworthy that then 29 year old Aubrey Plaza is playing an 18 year old girl. Its like the old slasher movies having 30 year old teenagers.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shameless Custard on September 19, 2016, 01:34:06 PM
Look at this shit

(http://www.nerdly.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/sleeping-with-other-people.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Pit-Pat on September 19, 2016, 05:56:06 PM
It's not entirely without its charms
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: greenman on September 19, 2016, 06:04:18 PM
There could be a separate thread for inept Nicolas Cage posters

(http://alabamanewscenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/USS-Indianopolis-poster1.jpg)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eExfV_xKaiM
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on September 19, 2016, 06:28:29 PM
It's not entirely without its charms

I was surprised that it was vaguely okay. No classic by any means and it covers old ground, but there was the odd funny moment in it.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: DukeDeMondo on September 19, 2016, 07:11:44 PM
Look at this shit

(http://www.nerdly.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/sleeping-with-other-people.jpg)

Good God. That is just hideous.

I'll watch the film, though, Bachelorette was great.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Ron Maels Moustache on September 19, 2016, 11:12:41 PM
Look at this shit

(http://www.nerdly.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/sleeping-with-other-people.jpg)

Alison Brie's horrifically mangled hand is slightly alarming.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: hewantstolurkatad on September 20, 2016, 12:46:48 AM
Sleeping with Other People has two very good leads that play off each other well and a script that at points works really well.

With a few improvements it could've been pretty great imo. Unusually funny for typical romcom fare too.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Pit-Pat on September 20, 2016, 12:39:39 PM
I was surprised that it was vaguely okay. No classic by any means and it covers old ground, but there was the odd funny moment in it.

I meant just the poster, but I can imagine tolerating the film itself too.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on September 20, 2016, 01:39:54 PM
Alison Brie has really nice, shapely knockers. Worth watching the film for that reason alone, I would have thought.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on September 21, 2016, 12:46:55 PM
Was this really an official poster? It's the one on the Wikipedia page.

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b7/Matildaposter.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Kane Jones on September 21, 2016, 12:49:00 PM
Christ, that's horrible.

I'm pretty sure this was the one I remember seeing about;

(http://www.pastposters.com/cw3/assets/product_expanded/JamieF-RJ/matilda-cinema-quad-movie-poster-(2).jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on September 21, 2016, 01:18:22 PM
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b7/Matildaposter.jpg)

That's like your local primary school doing a play.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Porter Dimi on September 21, 2016, 01:44:25 PM
I personally preferred the original:

(https://www.movieposter.com/posters/archive/main/93/MPW-46837)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on November 17, 2016, 09:55:46 AM
Not inept but not good either.

(http://i0.wp.com/bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/kongskullislandposter.jpg?resize=691%2C1024)    (http://static.srcdn.com/slir/w1000-h1000-q90-c1000:1000/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/kong-skull-island-poster1.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on November 17, 2016, 09:57:11 AM
Now that's inept.

(http://m.odeon.co.uk/_uploads/asset_management/220x320_16ed2e04afa176999dfbd4ca04342f7b.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: marquis_de_sad on November 17, 2016, 09:57:56 AM
Not inept but not good either.

(http://i0.wp.com/bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/kongskullislandposter.jpg?resize=691%2C1024) 

(http://www.bowsershrine.com/Images/Info/Screens/bowsersmw2.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Pit-Pat on November 17, 2016, 12:33:49 PM
Now that's inept.

(http://m.odeon.co.uk/_uploads/asset_management/220x320_16ed2e04afa176999dfbd4ca04342f7b.jpg)

I thought Bad Santa was reasonably alright, but that poster makes me actively not want to watch the sequel.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: QDRPHNC on November 17, 2016, 01:57:26 PM
Not inept but not good either.

(http://i0.wp.com/bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/kongskullislandposter.jpg?resize=691%2C1024)    (http://static.srcdn.com/slir/w1000-h1000-q90-c1000:1000/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/kong-skull-island-poster1.jpg)

The one on the left would be much better without the helicopters. They distract from the visual path from the soldiers to Kong.

The one on the right would be better without the helicopter too. Fucking hell, they must have a real "copter head" over on the marketing side.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: clingfilm portent on November 17, 2016, 02:05:06 PM
Now that's inept.

(http://m.odeon.co.uk/_uploads/asset_management/220x320_16ed2e04afa176999dfbd4ca04342f7b.jpg)

What is this fascination with having the stars of a thing walking/running on the promotional material? I can't be arsed to think of any examples as I've just woken up, but there are loads and it always looks fucking STUPID.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on November 17, 2016, 02:39:55 PM
From TWO of the guys who brought you *insert shit comedy film*
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Crabwalk on November 17, 2016, 02:48:09 PM
Not inept but not good either.

(http://i0.wp.com/bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/kongskullislandposter.jpg?resize=691%2C1024)

A big monkey is the least of your problems if the sun's become a red giant.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Phoenix Lazarus on November 17, 2016, 05:35:12 PM
That one with Ricky Gervais's grinning head looking at the viewer while attached to an improbably slim-looking body, frozen in mid-leap through the air.  Did that inspire anyone to watch, or did it merely look as if Gervais seemed to be looking for approval for being able to momentarily defy gravity? 

I think that was for World's Biggest Liar, or whatever it was called.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Keebleman on November 17, 2016, 08:33:31 PM
A movie about the search (sorry, quest) for the source of the Nile would have been a hard sell anyway, but this dreadful effort finished whatever chance it had.  Wish I could get a better image of it, then you'd see more clearly how the natives get transparent as they recede into the distance, as if they were ghosts.

I remember an interview with Iain Glen a year or so later and he was still incredulous at how bad it was.


(http://i1262.photobucket.com/albums/ii607/Keebleman/Mountains%20of%20the%20Moon_zpsfs54ezr0.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Serge on November 17, 2016, 09:00:22 PM
I thought Bad Santa was reasonably alright, but that poster makes me actively not want to watch the sequel.

If you haven't seen the trailer yet, that will make you want to avoid it even more.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: SteveDave on November 18, 2016, 02:14:14 PM
Sweet Jesus, I saw the advert on the side of a bus for Bad Santa 2 today. He looks like he's fallen over, broken his neck and crippled his arm.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Johnny Caramel on November 18, 2016, 03:18:52 PM
What is this fascination with having the stars of a thing walking/running on the promotional material? I can't be arsed to think of any examples as I've just woken up, but there are loads and it always looks fucking STUPID.

Post a pic of yourself walking so we can judge for ourselves man you fucking daft cunt.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: clingfilm portent on November 18, 2016, 04:39:21 PM
Rattled!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on November 30, 2016, 02:43:29 PM
I think this is supposed to be Cars 3...

(http://www.flickeringmyth.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/cars-3-poster-600x889.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on December 06, 2016, 02:32:12 PM
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/bd/The_Bye_Bye_Man_poster.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on December 06, 2016, 03:09:08 PM
Is the poster really the problem, or is it the stupid title?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on December 07, 2016, 09:57:53 AM
Is the poster really the problem, or is it the stupid title?

You're right, I just needed to share.

Plus the premise - if you speak his name or even think it, he'll come for you faster than you can say "Clive Barker should sue."
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: clingfilm portent on December 07, 2016, 10:05:43 AM
*squints* Don't eat it?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shaky on December 07, 2016, 12:33:38 PM
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/bd/The_Bye_Bye_Man_poster.jpg)

Gah, I'm thinking it now! Thanks a lot, poster.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on December 07, 2016, 12:43:04 PM
Say it, don't spray it!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: kidsick5000 on December 07, 2016, 02:42:43 PM
A marvel of ineptitude, not in the rendering That's some nice art there, but not a single damn thing on that poster happens in the film aka CAB favourite The Final Programme.
I'm not even sure there's a scene at night. That fella in the middle, he's not in it at all *[Spoiler]There now follows a pedants deflection Yes there is an ape person at the end but they're female, in a white suit and glimpsed for all of a second[/Spoiler].
(http://wrongsideoftheart.com/wp-content/gallery/posters-f/final_programme_poster_01.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: olliebean on December 07, 2016, 03:46:51 PM
Very disappointed that on second glance that one turned out not to be called "Last Days of Alan on Earth."
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on December 07, 2016, 04:34:17 PM
Checked IMDb, there's no Alan. Presumably that's him in the middle then, and his scenes were cut.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 07, 2016, 04:36:02 PM
Can't remember if this happens in the film either

(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41YeaEvaMuL._AC_UL320_SR240,320_.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Alberon on December 07, 2016, 04:59:24 PM
Books often reuse covers. That one is originally from 'It Shouldn't Happen to a Vet' by James Herriot.

Makes much more sense now, doesn't it?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: kidsick5000 on December 07, 2016, 05:04:14 PM
Books often reuse covers. That one is originally from 'It Shouldn't Happen to a Vet' by James Herriot.

Makes much more sense now, doesn't it?

Of course. Now I remember that bit.
"She's been off 'er feed since Thursday Mr 'Erriot. 'Appen it'll be that giant incendiary 'arlot Mr Jenkins put in 'is field. All them visitors are just distracting poor daisy."
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Head Gardener on January 06, 2017, 04:47:32 PM
(http://68.media.tumblr.com/5505aa0a69b2881e2d1a3a02a2a7bfb3/tumblr_ojaxvm3KGz1rn7bzro1_400.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: popcorn on January 07, 2017, 01:59:54 PM
I think this is supposed to be Cars 3...

(http://www.flickeringmyth.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/cars-3-poster-600x889.jpg)

Fucking hell, that's sort of horrifying when you picture the presumably terrified car face just out of shot.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: jobotic on January 07, 2017, 03:54:43 PM
Cars 3: Le Mans '55
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on January 11, 2017, 08:10:25 PM
Less an inept poster than a really silly title which is obviously going to be greatly mocked.

(http://i.imgur.com/Lwe7xlY.jpg)

Luckily my favourite fetish involves feline urine so I'll be seeing this on day one.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on January 26, 2017, 03:30:38 PM
From cat piss to dog shit.

(http://www.gstatic.com/tv/thumb/movieposters/12962810/p12962810_p_v8_aa.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Enrico Palazzo on May 24, 2017, 10:41:34 AM
This is real.

(http://cdn2-www.comingsoon.net/assets/uploads/gallery/spider-man-homecoming/rps20170524_001909.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on May 24, 2017, 11:13:04 AM
^I just came on here to post this. With great power comes inept film posters.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Old Gold Tooth on May 24, 2017, 11:56:58 AM
Ugh, that is BAD. It's like an ASDA-only DVD knock-off called Spider-Powers or The Revengers or something.

EDIT: new page for Marvel's publicity department knocking off early.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: holyzombiejesus on May 24, 2017, 12:03:29 PM
This is real.

(http://cdn2-www.comingsoon.net/assets/uploads/gallery/spider-man-homecoming/rps20170524_001909.jpg)

Is that Stephen Graham doing his jacket up?

It's really difficult to decide which is the worst bit. I think the little man with wings might be.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on May 24, 2017, 12:13:46 PM
We should just let the Poles do our posters I reckon.
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/43/54/32/43543204bbabfc695520bd3751e51077.jpg)

(http://filmgeist.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/alien-polish-poster.jpg)

(http://dxkdul4cprxwx.cloudfront.net/b8fafb7fa527444592ad094d5a52be7b_820x820.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on May 24, 2017, 01:35:38 PM
That's clever casting that is, Michael Keaton playing Powers Boothe.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on May 25, 2017, 02:03:49 PM
Yes that Spidey poster is absolutely dreadful.

People dun pisstakes. (http://www.cinemablend.com/news/1662950/all-the-amazing-fans-poking-fun-at-the-new-spider-man-homecoming-poster)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: olliebean on May 25, 2017, 11:15:07 PM
Apart from everything else, the laws of perspective seem to have been looking the other way when that poster was designed.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Head Gardener on June 09, 2017, 05:21:40 PM
(http://68.media.tumblr.com/814b4f49c32a7675ebe013f2c64106f6/tumblr_ojsjmg8dYX1vel7mfo1_540.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on June 09, 2017, 05:46:38 PM
I haven't been able to bring myself to look at the trailers for that. I just don't want it to exist.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on June 09, 2017, 09:20:04 PM
I haven't been able to bring myself to look at the trailers for that. I just don't want it to exist.
I'd like to hear Kermode review it. He sounded so broken even talking about dirty grandpa.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: saltysnacks on June 11, 2017, 09:58:43 AM
This is real.

(http://cdn2-www.comingsoon.net/assets/uploads/gallery/spider-man-homecoming/rps20170524_001909.jpg)

HEY EVERYONE! THAT GUY YOU LIKE, THE ONE WITH THE BEARD, IS IN THE FILM!

please watch it...
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on June 11, 2017, 10:23:38 AM
HEY EVERYONE! THAT GUY YOU LIKE, THE ONE WITH THE BEARD, IS IN THE FILM!

(http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj506/Chuckopixs/spideyhomecomingposterbeardguy_zpsmrwislpb.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: saltysnacks on June 11, 2017, 10:33:17 AM
(http://i1265.photobucket.com/albums/jj506/Chuckopixs/spideyhomecomingposterbeardguy_zpsmrwislpb.jpg)

I didn't know that he was in it. Genuinely excited now.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on June 11, 2017, 10:42:17 AM
Some shockers in here: http://www.11points.com/Movies/11_Worst_Movie_Posters_of_the_90s

This one's probably my favourite:

(http://www.11points.com/images/90smovieposters/necessaryroughness.jpg)

Though this one's also pretty good:

(http://www.11points.com/images/90smovieposters/topdog.jpg)

Jesus Twice-Fucking Christ.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on June 11, 2017, 01:48:30 PM
(http://68.media.tumblr.com/814b4f49c32a7675ebe013f2c64106f6/tumblr_ojsjmg8dYX1vel7mfo1_540.jpg)

NO.  DON'T LET THAT BE A REAL FILM THANK YOU.


Jesus fuck.  Next up:  'FIDGET SPINNERS: THE MOVIE'.  In which the main character gets confiscated for being a distraction in his owner's class, and has to spend most of the film trying to escape from a teacher's locked desk drawer.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: saltysnacks on June 11, 2017, 02:29:14 PM
NO.  DON'T LET THAT BE A REAL FILM THANK YOU.


Jesus fuck.  Next up:  'FIDGET SPINNERS: THE MOVIE'.  In which the main character gets confiscated for being a distraction in his owner's class, and has to spend most of the film trying to escape from a teacher's locked desk drawer.

I am actually convinced that the sequel will be a Meme movie.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on June 11, 2017, 03:50:46 PM
I once wrote a shitty sketch about a Hollywood executives coming up with a "Facebook reacts" movie. It was a very bad sketch but it did feature the inspired casting of Owen Wilson as the wow react. That wasn't worth writing out. I'm so sorry.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Attila on June 11, 2017, 04:20:18 PM
Is that Barron Trump in the Spiderman one?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: greenman on June 11, 2017, 04:25:19 PM
Has Downey Jnr died and I'v missed it? hence the CGI recreation.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on June 25, 2017, 09:35:46 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/4nGZAO1.jpg)

It looks like a triple DVD boxset. Gleeson twinkles on top, whilst down below, Keaton spots an amusing incident near a wall.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Keebleman on June 26, 2017, 12:21:45 AM
'17 Augustus'.  Is that intentional?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on June 26, 2017, 08:56:45 AM
'17 Augustus'.  Is that intentional?

Didn't even notice that.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: spamwangler on June 26, 2017, 10:22:40 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/4nGZAO1.jpg)
 

hes a garden gnome possessed by the dark lord satan
shes a widowed charity shop worker
can they overcome the social boundaries of their askjhsf fall in askjhdskjh etc
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Gwen Taylor on ITV on June 26, 2017, 10:25:06 PM
Needs more teal
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on June 26, 2017, 11:31:43 PM
Needs more teal

Oranges could be stronger too, mind.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on June 27, 2017, 08:24:30 AM
ORANGES ARE NOT THE STRONGEST FRUIT
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on June 27, 2017, 12:07:20 PM
ORANGES ARE NOT THE STRONGEST FRUIT

GERCHA LOVELY TEALS, FIVE FOR A POUND!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on June 27, 2017, 02:25:30 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/4nGZAO1.jpg)

Isn't everything, even the most outlandish sci-fi, "inspired by a true story"? The other one you get is "Inspired by real events".
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on June 29, 2017, 08:39:17 PM
I discovered that this is currently in cinemas right now:

(http://i.imgur.com/Gg4gD9D.jpg)

What gets me is the lazy font use, it's like they went to all the trouble of making the poster and then just picked a random font on photoshop even though it looks shit.

Also: So it tells the story of Old Tom Morris and Young Tom Morris but not middle-aged Tom Morris? Did he become a bit of a cunt in his forties or something and they've just decided to omit that bit?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: spamwangler on June 29, 2017, 09:08:56 PM
I discovered that this is currently in cinemas right now:

(http://i.imgur.com/Gg4gD9D.jpg)

What gets me is the lazy font use, it's like they went to all the trouble of making the poster and then just picked a random font on photoshop even though it looks shit.

Also: So it tells the story of Old Tom Morris and Young Tom Morris but not middle-aged Tom Morris? Did he become a bit of a cunt in his forties or something and they've just decided to omit that bit?

surely thats old tom in the back and young tom in the front.

you wouldnt get me in that cinema to watch that if you paid me. are they

a) assumming i should know who the fuck these old tom morris cunt/s are,

or

b) assuming  a glum looking pasty bloke playing golf with his rough as fuck looking dad is going to be my idea of a good film?

its like they dont know me at all
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: spamwangler on June 29, 2017, 09:14:56 PM
just looked this old tom prick up on wikipedia - a man so breathtakingly exciting that "moves to prestwick" is marked as a significant life event

"He died after falling down a flight of stairs in the clubhouse of the New Golf Club in St Andrews."

has there ever been a film that has ended suddenly when someone falls down the stairs in a golf club and dies?

so i guess the beggining middle and end of this thing goes:

tom is born

moves to prestwick


falls down stairs

fin.

fucking riveting
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: spamwangler on June 29, 2017, 09:19:20 PM


(http://i.imgur.com/Gg4gD9D.jpg)


imagine wasting time in a charity shop in Christchurch waiting for a train, and reading the back blurb of his, the smell of unwashed gusset burning in your nostrils, a pair of beige elasticated chinos chafing you
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on June 29, 2017, 09:28:19 PM
just looked this old tom prick up on wikipedia - a man so breathtakingly exciting that "moves to prestwick" is marked as a significant life event

"He died after falling down a flight of stairs in the clubhouse of the New Golf Club in St Andrews."

has there ever been a film that has ended suddenly when someone falls down the stairs in a golf club and dies?

so i guess the beggining middle and end of this thing goes:

tom is born

moves to prestwick


falls down stairs

fin.

fucking riveting

Heh, I almost want to see it now.

After a brief google search I've discovered that Old Tom Morris and Young Tom Morris were father and son, but young Tom Morris met a pretty depressing ending too:

Quote
In a team match on 11 September 1875 at North Berwick, with the Morrises facing brothers Willie and Mungo Park, Young Tom received a telegram from home requesting his immediate return; his pregnant wife, Margaret Drinnen, had gone into a difficult labour. Only two holes remained in the match; Old Tom and Young Tom finished the match, winning, and hurried home by ship across the Firth of Forth and up the coast, but when Young Tom got there both his wife and newborn baby were dead. Young Tom was broken-hearted. Not quite four months later, on Christmas Day, he died at the age of 24. The official cause of death, according to his death certificate, was pulmonary hemorrhage causing apnea

This is now a must see movie for me.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Gwen Taylor on ITV on June 29, 2017, 09:34:51 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/4nGZAO1.jpg)

It looks like a triple DVD boxset. Gleeson twinkles on top, whilst down below, Keaton spots an amusing incident near a wall.

Dame Judi Dench showing her acting range there by growing a beard.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on June 29, 2017, 09:40:10 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/Gg4gD9D.jpg)

George and Mildred: The Early Years.

But seriously, that look's like one to watch on a wet Tuesday with a brace of Tunnock's tea cakes!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: spamwangler on June 29, 2017, 09:57:40 PM
Heh, I almost want to see it now.

After a brief google search I've discovered that Old Tom Morris and Young Tom Morris were father and son, but young Tom Morris met a pretty depressing ending too:

AMERICAN WACKY FILM TRAILER VOICE: TOM MORRIS IS A GOLFER...BUT LIFES ABOUT TO THROW HIM......A CURVE BALL [RECORD SCRATCH SOUND]
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Dr Rock on June 29, 2017, 10:02:17 PM
'17 Augustus'.  Is that intentional?

It's wrong anyway, the film's out now (5.9 on IMDb).
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on June 29, 2017, 10:11:16 PM
The real Tom Morris had a real son who was also called Tom Morris. The poster makes it look like several actors will play the same man at different points in his life.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mr Brightside on June 29, 2017, 11:39:00 PM
Which poster would be my best bet if I wanted to plant a seed of doubt in the mind of my antagonists?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on July 12, 2017, 04:48:00 PM
This is obviously going to be appalling but I kind of want to see it.

(http://i.imgur.com/OMVrfGY.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: phantom_power on July 12, 2017, 11:58:13 PM
Brave fucking release date
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Billy on July 13, 2017, 12:20:17 AM
I work at a cinema and that's going to be a pretty fucking weird week. "One for 9/11, please"

Still waiting for a comedy film to call itself "Large Popcorn" or something, just to cause chaos for the poor sods like me.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Attila on July 13, 2017, 10:15:01 AM
Quote

(http://i.imgur.com/OMVrfGY.jpg)




Quote
In a team match on 11 September 1875 at North Berwick, with the Morrises facing brothers Willie and Mungo Park, Young Tom received a telegram from home requesting his immediate return; his pregnant wife, Margaret Drinnen, had gone into a difficult labour. Only two holes remained in the match; Old Tom and Young Tom finished the match, winning, and hurried home by ship across the Firth of Forth and up the coast, but when Young Tom got there both his wife and newborn baby were dead. Young Tom was broken-hearted. Not quite four months later, on Christmas Day, he died at the age of 24. The official cause of death, according to his death certificate, was pulmonary hemorrhage causing apnea

Themed twin-bill date night right there, just the ticket for my birthday (on the 13th).

Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on July 13, 2017, 10:58:49 AM
Can't wait for the new Slipknot album.

(http://oyster.ignimgs.com/wordpress/stg.ign.com/2017/07/jigsaw_poster1-720x1095.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bhazor on July 23, 2017, 02:10:10 PM
The jigsaw series is impressive for the fact it still manages to carry on even though the jigsaw guy died like 6 films back.

Edit: Holy shit they've got Lord Buckethead's family. Oh and they also think sped up shaky head is still a scary effect.

https://youtu.be/vPP6aIw1vgY?t=38s

Quote
In a team match on 11 September 1875 at North Berwick, with the Morrises facing brothers Willie and Mungo Park, Young Tom received a telegram from home requesting his immediate return; his pregnant wife, Margaret Drinnen, had gone into a difficult labour. Only two holes remained

Only two holes remained? I don't understand childbirth.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on September 19, 2017, 09:56:58 PM
Look at this pish:

(https://ewedit.files.wordpress.com/2017/09/tomb-raider.jpg?)

Weird giraffe neck, stiff pose, massive dead space on either side of the poster, a logo that almost entirely covers up that pickaxe, which is the only slightly interesting part of the image, shitty colour palette and what appear to be UFOs for no reason. This poster has it all! In a bad way.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: DukeDeMondo on September 19, 2017, 10:05:04 PM
That is gruesome. And somewhat reminiscent of these:

(http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2649334.1464184555!/img/httpImage/image.png_gen/derivatives/article_750/i-spit-on-your-grave-posters.png)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bhazor on October 03, 2017, 01:11:39 AM
One of my absolute favourite movies and one of the absolute worst posters/release cover.

(http://www.joblo.com/posters/images/full/1986-true-stories-poster1.jpg)

A film with so many great images and visual gags and this is what they settled on? It barely even mentions the Talking Heads. Then there's the unattributed quote that doesn't even match the relevant quote in the film.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Dex Sawash on October 03, 2017, 02:40:57 AM
This thread had the tag "noodle lizard"
I never looked it up, did noodle lizard do that tag himself?

#thingsIlosesleepover
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Panbaams on October 03, 2017, 10:17:07 AM
"I'm pretty sure this isn't how you play Twister, Robert."

(https://static.rogerebert.com/uploads/movie/movie_poster/the-electric-horseman-1979/large_AjFfQAIM4sbYpyVRoqiVUaBdzTG.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on October 03, 2017, 10:32:42 AM
One of my absolute favourite movies and one of the absolute worst posters/release cover.

(http://www.joblo.com/posters/images/full/1986-true-stories-poster1.jpg)

A film with so many great images and visual gags and this is what they settled on? It barely even mentions the Talking Heads. Then there's the unattributed quote that doesn't even match the relevant quote in the film.

Nah mate, it's fine. Jaunty, colourful, fun - everything the film is.

And for anyone who hasn't seen it, do so, ASAP. It's just a lovely thing.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on October 03, 2017, 05:41:32 PM
"I'm pretty sure this isn't how you play Twister, Robert."

(https://static.rogerebert.com/uploads/movie/movie_poster/the-electric-horseman-1979/large_AjFfQAIM4sbYpyVRoqiVUaBdzTG.jpg)

I seem to recall seeing this as an in-flight movie several times over in the late 70s. Not really representative of the movie.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shay Chaise on October 03, 2017, 08:38:27 PM
That's called the French Horn/Infinity Trombone. I did it once with an ex and somehow ended up sucking my own cock inside out.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Hello! Replies Hidden on October 03, 2017, 08:44:35 PM
One of my absolute favourite movies and one of the absolute worst posters/release cover.

Shake my head. You've got that well wrong.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: DukeDeMondo on October 05, 2017, 09:57:19 PM
Take this:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/39/The_Last_Exorcism_Poster.jpg)


batter it with bricks for ten or fifteen minutes and kick it through a hedge, and you might get this:

(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNWM0MTc3NzgtYjQxMi00ZDI2LTgzN2QtMmEyOGE2YWNiYTkyXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTg0MTI3Mg@@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,701,1000_AL_.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on October 05, 2017, 11:40:20 PM
That’s disturbing. Mainly because it looks like my old boss, who’s a truly lovely person.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on October 06, 2017, 10:10:58 AM
She looks it
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Head Gardener on October 21, 2017, 05:58:41 PM
(http://cdn-static.denofgeek.com/sites/denofgeek/files/styles/main_wide/public/2017/08/geostorm_lead.jpg?itok=mCUhAmx8)

first up this scene does not happen in the film and the Geostorm itself is averted at the end so we didn't even get a fucking Geostorm (insert angry gif here)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Hello! Replies Hidden on October 21, 2017, 06:50:04 PM
What about all the giant hailstones? They can hurt you know. "Marry her!"
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: wosl on October 21, 2017, 06:50:27 PM
Fearful effort for the re-released Celine And Julie Go Boating (L) versus the lovely design for the original release (R):

(https://i.imgur.com/0xMaCMb.jpg)  (https://i.imgur.com/qih277X.jpg)

Apparently, the BFI have gone with a version of the new one for the cover of their soon-to-be-released blu-ray :(
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Head Gardener on October 21, 2017, 07:56:19 PM
What about all the giant hailstones? They can hurt you know. "Marry her!"

not enough of them and no, it didn't happen
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on November 03, 2017, 05:47:48 PM
John Cusack's latest looks like a piss poor 80's straight to video effort:

(https://i.imgur.com/zcR2Wup.jpg)

Terrible bit of photoshopping with the guy at the bottom there, I bet he's never even been near a real robot!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Phil_A on November 03, 2017, 06:29:00 PM
John Cusack's latest looks like a piss poor 80's straight to video effort:

(https://i.imgur.com/zcR2Wup.jpg)

Terrible bit of photoshopping with the guy at the bottom there, I bet he's never even been near a real robot!

Crikey. Are things now so bad for Cusack that he's making films for The Asylum?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on November 03, 2017, 10:29:45 PM
In that sort of layout, have both looking at the camera, or neither. Fuck’s sake. The one on the right looks like CGI anyway.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 03, 2017, 10:38:11 PM
He looks good for his age
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on November 03, 2017, 10:57:01 PM
He looks good for his age

Yes, John Tutturo has never looked better!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on November 13, 2017, 01:31:03 PM
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ogg6fybPjRk/VMHVloFhHKI/AAAAAAAANeY/c7YPnYTDBHk/s1600/mrb.jpg)

Well I can't find the photoshop disasters thread.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on November 13, 2017, 06:38:07 PM
Fuck's sake. That would scare you off ever going to a baseball game again, wouldn't it?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Kelvin on November 13, 2017, 07:15:12 PM
(https://static1.squarespace.com/static/51b3dc8ee4b051b96ceb10de/t/5a04a213c8302552e4b80bd4/1510253081749/deadpool-2-poster-brings-together-the-whole-gang-for-thanksgiving-dinner)

No seats, so everyone has kneel round the table.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on November 13, 2017, 07:47:05 PM
That can’t be real, can it?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Kelvin on November 13, 2017, 07:54:19 PM
That can’t be real, can it?

Yep, it was the first poster they released for the sequel.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bad Ambassador on November 13, 2017, 09:21:51 PM
It was to tie in with a Deadpool-themed issue of Good Housekeeping. Yes, really.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on November 14, 2017, 10:40:20 AM
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/news/a46828/guest-editor-deadpool/
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/deadpool-wins-the-holidays/
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: holyzombiejesus on November 18, 2017, 12:54:02 AM
Not a film poster, just the DVD box, but...

(https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/23659411_10155077417285267_7178718121063267862_n.jpg?oh=8681de340b6ce5803d1c7296debb6e5c&oe=5AAF5C0C)

Maybe it's just me but I keep thinking the alien is turning round and giving a big grin to the camera. And what are those bone/ antler things coming out of its body for?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: bgmnts on November 18, 2017, 02:09:31 AM
No wonder Scott believes Alien has run out of steam.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on November 18, 2017, 11:49:59 AM
(https://static1.squarespace.com/static/51b3dc8ee4b051b96ceb10de/t/5a04a213c8302552e4b80bd4/1510253081749/deadpool-2-poster-brings-together-the-whole-gang-for-thanksgiving-dinner)

No seats, so everyone has kneel round the table.

What are they all doing?  The two in the foreground, including the metal head, aren't looking even approximately towards the table, anything on it or anyone around it.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on November 18, 2017, 06:39:36 PM
...what are those bone/ antler things coming out of its body for?

Those are dorsal tubes and were on the original design by H.R. Giger, as used for 1979's Alien.  Giger had stated that the were a biological necessity; to counter-balance the shape of the creature's head, in proportion to its body.  Otherwise, presumably the alien would constantly be falling backwards.  They were removed for Alien 3 because the runner xenomorph mostly ran on all fours and therefore didn't require them for balance.

(https://i.imgur.com/2hHvWSu.jpg?2)

It has to be said that the original dorsal tubes didn't look silly, as they did in Alien Covenant though; they were thicker and also didn't move independently of the creature's main body, as well they shouldn't.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on November 18, 2017, 09:14:23 PM
Why doesn't the Justice League poster have Supes on it?

It's not as if anyone's going to be surprised when he turns up halfway through it.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on November 20, 2017, 10:27:36 AM
Quote
Why doesn't the Justice League poster have Supes on it?

It's not as if anyone's going to be surprised when he turns up halfway through it.

I've been wondering that myself.

The poster is utter shit, like everything about that film and franchise.

(https://nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/justice-league-poster.jpg)

It looks like an ad for a Madame Tussauds DC exhibition. 
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shaky on November 22, 2017, 10:02:38 AM
That can’t be real, can it?

It's obviously meant to be ironically shoddy, bringing to mind some crappy photoshopped poster for a family comedy or similar. It's the franchise's "thing", innit? Mileage may vary, of course.


The poster is utter shit, like everything about that film and franchise.

(https://nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/justice-league-poster.jpg)


That one's done in the comic book stylee of Alex Ross. I like it a damn sight more that the film itself.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on November 22, 2017, 10:33:02 AM
It's obviously meant to be ironically shoddy, bringing to mind some crappy photoshopped poster for a family comedy or similar. It's the franchise's "thing", innit? Mileage may vary, of course.

It's based on Norman Rockwell's painting Freedom from Want (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_from_Want_(painting))
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/95/%22Freedom_From_Want%22_-_NARA_-_513539.jpg/378px-%22Freedom_From_Want%22_-_NARA_-_513539.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shaky on November 22, 2017, 11:21:27 AM
Ahhhhhh. OK. Even better!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on November 22, 2017, 11:25:02 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/EnfVfdw.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on November 22, 2017, 08:39:37 PM
OK, now I’ve seen the Rockwell (which I don’t think I ever have, before - but I surely must have?) the poster makes more sense and I can appreciate it.

I nearly questioned the reality of the Justice League poster, but realised no fanmade would ever be that boring & unimaginative. Plus I was in London yesterday and saw it on the tube.

I also saw the Disaster Artist poster (just seen it mentioned in the thread). Christ almighty. Who came up with THAT idea - their mother?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on November 22, 2017, 08:49:04 PM
Not a film poster, just the DVD box, but...

(https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/23659411_10155077417285267_7178718121063267862_n.jpg?oh=8681de340b6ce5803d1c7296debb6e5c&oe=5AAF5C0C)

Maybe it's just me but I keep thinking the alien is turning round and giving a big grin to the camera. And what are those bone/ antler things coming out of its body for?

Yup, definitely see what you mean there. And add two eyes and he even looks quite cute.

(https://i.imgur.com/NQZYDbS.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Crabwalk on November 22, 2017, 09:34:42 PM
That is amazing.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 22, 2017, 11:44:40 PM
although

(http://i65.tinypic.com/30139rt.png)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on November 23, 2017, 12:05:12 AM
...add two eyes and he even looks quite cute.

Yeah but everything looks cute with googly eyes.

(https://i.imgur.com/7GsRCb9.jpg)

...I take that back!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on November 23, 2017, 10:15:57 AM
Yup, definitely see what you mean there. And add two eyes and he even looks quite cute.

(https://i.imgur.com/NQZYDbS.jpg)

That's an improvement.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Jerzy Bondov on November 23, 2017, 10:39:14 AM
'Spine-busting action'??? No thanks if it's all the same. I would prefer my spine remain unbusted.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on November 24, 2017, 01:34:11 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/pfOb3wz.jpg)

I would prefer my spine remain unbusted.

Prude.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on November 24, 2017, 11:04:09 AM
What are they all doing?  The two in the foreground, including the metal head, aren't looking even approximately towards the table, anything on it or anyone around it.

To be fair the one on the bottom-left is blind.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on November 30, 2017, 04:31:29 AM
Look at this absolute shiftest. Saw it in a cinema in New York, alongside a few more competent offerings.

(https://m.aceshowbiz.com/webimages/still/father-figures-poster02.jpg)

I like the Slovakian title though:

(http://www.malacky.sk/_images/_podujatia/bastards.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on November 30, 2017, 10:28:11 AM
From wikipedia -

Quote
Bastards was originally scheduled to be released by Warner Bros. on November 4, 2016. It was later changed to January 27, 2017.[14] In January 2017, just weeks before the film's planned theatrical release, the film was removed from the release schedule.[15] It was later moved yet again to December 22, 2017.[16]

On September 15, 2017, the film was renamed from Bastards to Father Figures.[17]
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on November 30, 2017, 01:28:17 PM
That's a money laundering ruse isn't it?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: spamwangler on December 07, 2017, 07:48:09 AM
something very david firth about walken in that poster
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Two Headed Sex Beast on December 10, 2017, 03:14:04 AM
(https://nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/DQn5Y05VwAAWqun.jpeg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on December 10, 2017, 03:51:37 AM
A better poster awaits, more like!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: newbridge on December 10, 2017, 04:05:56 AM
That's not a plot point (like he has Stretch Armstrong leg powers)? They really just messed up that badly?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Sgt. Duckie on December 10, 2017, 11:15:23 AM
That RPO poster can't be the real one right? That is just madness.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on December 10, 2017, 09:57:06 PM
(https://cdn.eventcinemas.com.au/cdn/resources/movies/10822/images/largeposter.jpg)

Passed this Australian poster for Downsizing the other day. Fuck me what a load of tripe. I tried searching for this on Google and the other posters for it aren't much better.

(https://i0.wp.com/teaser-trailer.com/wp-content/uploads/Downsizing-movie-poster.jpg?ssl=1)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on December 10, 2017, 11:05:04 PM
There are parts of the RPO one I quite like - the colours (yes, even though it's a bit tealy), the cityscape. But why is there an egg in the sky? Why is there a twunt on a ladder? Taken as a whole, it's risible.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: newbridge on December 10, 2017, 11:10:25 PM
There are parts of the RPO one I quite like - the colours (yes, even though it's a bit tealy), the cityscape. But why is there an egg in the sky? Why is there a twunt on a ladder? Taken as a whole, it's risible.

I actually like the poster except for the freak leg.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Kelvin on December 11, 2017, 05:41:07 AM
The RPO poster doesn't even convey the concept of the film or the USP of the oasis. In that sense, too, it's a fundamentally bad poster and inept piece of advertising.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on December 19, 2017, 02:46:58 PM
I for one can't wait for "Increasingly Smaller Women" The Movie.

(https://i.imgur.com/I0Q1e2v.jpg)

I also had no idea they were all prostitutes, but it's definitely boosted my interest in the film.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Enrico Palazzo on December 19, 2017, 03:00:46 PM
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/74/Pottersville_film_poster.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on December 20, 2017, 04:47:02 AM
I actually like the poster except for the freak leg.

Holy moly!  I hadn't ntoiced that.  What in the name of sanity is that about?!

Also, yes, I too am confused about Dr. Robotnik's Death Egg.  It's like watching a film in the wrong aspect ratio.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Porter Dimi on December 20, 2017, 01:38:43 PM
Look at this absolute shiftest. Saw it in a cinema in New York, alongside a few more competent offerings.

(https://m.aceshowbiz.com/webimages/still/father-figures-poster02.jpg)

Jesus. That picture of Walken is as if he's gone missing and he's been age-progressed.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: imitationleather on December 20, 2017, 02:04:09 PM
Holy moly!  I hadn't ntoiced that.  What in the name of sanity is that about?!

I've never read Ready Player One, but I really want that poster specifically because of the leg. I hope it is the story of the struggles of a man with a freakishly long leg climbing a ladder. If turns out it's some sci-fi shit about video games being real or living in a video game or something like that I'm going to smash Tyneside Cinema up and then burn it to the ground and stomp on the ashes.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on December 20, 2017, 02:28:52 PM
I've never read Ready Player One, but I really want that poster specifically because of the leg. I hope it is the story of the struggles of a man with a freakishly long leg climbing a ladder. If turns out it's some sci-fi shit about video games being real or living in a video game or something like that I'm going to smash Tyneside Cinema up and then burn it to the ground and stomp on the ashes.

Tyneside Cinema is as good as fucked!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on December 20, 2017, 06:49:30 PM
Oh, leave the Tyneside alone. Is there still that multiplex at Manors? Was a Warners in my day.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on December 20, 2017, 07:59:12 PM
I for one can't wait for "Increasingly Smaller Women" The Movie.

(https://i.imgur.com/I0Q1e2v.jpg)

I also had no idea they were all prostitutes, but it's definitely boosted my interest in the film.

That poster's OK.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on December 21, 2017, 12:46:00 AM
I for one can't wait for "Increasingly Smaller Women" The Movie.

(https://i.imgur.com/I0Q1e2v.jpg)

I also had no idea they were all prostitutes, but it's definitely boosted my interest in the film.

They look slightly computer generated, as if they were non-playable GTA characters.

Non-playable GTA characters happen to be prostitutes.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: imitationleather on December 21, 2017, 10:17:53 AM
Oh, leave the Tyneside alone. Is there still that multiplex at Manors? Was a Warners in my day.

I do not believe so. There's now a Vue in Gateshead and a Cineworld up near St. James' Park. Not been to either, only go to Tyneside. Independent cinema FTW (also it is closest to my flat and, sorry, but the audiences in Vues and Cineworlds tend to be the sort of scum who talk and use their phones during the films).
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on December 21, 2017, 10:39:04 AM
I for one can't wait for "Increasingly Smaller Women" The Movie.

(https://i.imgur.com/I0Q1e2v.jpg)

I also had no idea they were all prostitutes, but it's definitely boosted my interest in the film.

It's just shitty rendering but you can see the outline of the text boxes. Good tagline though.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: the on December 21, 2017, 10:57:49 AM
It's just shitty rendering but you can see the outline of the text boxes.

Nah, not a text box outline, just JPEG artifacting around the detail of the text.

One of the many problems with that is that everyone's had their picture done with a different light source.

That and it reminds me of the opening to Dramarama (https://youtu.be/f4MqWgp8L4U?t=9s).
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on December 21, 2017, 11:27:10 AM
(https://static1.squarespace.com/static/51b3dc8ee4b051b96ceb10de/t/5a04a213c8302552e4b80bd4/1510253081749/deadpool-2-poster-brings-together-the-whole-gang-for-thanksgiving-dinner)

No seats, so everyone has kneel round the table.
I hope they re-release this poster with TJ Miller's head crudely removed and the blank space filled with "non-rapist to be named later".
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on December 21, 2017, 11:41:34 AM
I do not believe so. There's now a Vue in Gateshead and a Cineworld up near St. James' Park. Not been to either, only go to Tyneside. Independent cinema FTW (also it is closest to my flat and, sorry, but the audiences in Vues and Cineworlds tend to be the sort of scum who talk and use their phones during the films).

They're often fully licensed too. A pint with a film is much more preferable to cretins.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: TheMonk on December 21, 2017, 12:22:31 PM
Looks like the photographer has asked them to impersonate each other.
(https://www.warnerbros.com/sites/default/files/styles/key_art_270x400/public/grudge_match_keyart.jpg?itok=71pY_F1n)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: phantom_power on December 21, 2017, 08:49:38 PM
Not so much an inept poster but the layout of this DVD cover caused the person who created the spine text a bit of a problem:

https://imgur.com/a/7JFIT (https://imgur.com/a/7JFIT)

Linking because I couldn't work out how to resize those massive images
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on December 21, 2017, 10:33:02 PM
Christ, is that what Meg Ryan’s up to these days?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 21, 2017, 11:09:24 PM
Oh, leave the Tyneside alone. Is there still that multiplex at Manors? Was a Warners in my day.

No, it was bulldozed to make way for Northumbria University buildings
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Chriddof on December 22, 2017, 02:57:14 AM
Not so much an inept poster but the layout of this DVD cover caused the person who created the spine text a bit of a problem:

https://imgur.com/a/7JFIT (https://imgur.com/a/7JFIT)


I've also noticed that the designer fucked up the word "never".
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on December 22, 2017, 03:59:30 AM
https://imgur.com/a/7JFIT (https://imgur.com/a/7JFIT)

£1.49, Poundland.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: phantom_power on December 22, 2017, 02:09:38 PM
£1.49, Poundland.

Close, charidee shop
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shit Good Nose on December 22, 2017, 10:57:13 PM
Methinks that's a bootleg - I have the region 1 DVD and that's not what it looks like.  Also I don't think there was/is a DTS version officially released.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on December 23, 2017, 05:47:54 AM
Not so much an inept poster but the layout of this DVD cover caused the person who created the spine text a bit of a problem:

https://imgur.com/a/7JFIT (https://imgur.com/a/7JFIT)

Linking because I couldn't work out how to resize those massive images

I've also noticed that the designer fucked up the word "never".

Someone got paid to do that design?!  I hope that the responsible party feels thoroughly ashamed by their own idiocy.

Methinks that's a bootleg - I have the region 1 DVD and that's not what it looks like.  Also I don't think there was/is a DTS version officially released.

Oh.  That would explain it.  The person responsible is now only half an idiot.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: phantom_power on December 23, 2017, 07:24:39 PM
Why would anyone bootleg THAT?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shit Good Nose on December 23, 2017, 11:16:20 PM
Why would anyone bootleg THAT?

That was your first question rather than "why would anyone own THAT?"?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Epic Bisto on December 24, 2017, 05:00:54 AM
At least THX are catering to blind Rastafarians nowadays.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: asids on January 10, 2018, 02:21:47 AM
We've got ourselves a 2 for 1 here:

(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/91aFu6YtZJL._SL1500_.jpg)

(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ef/f4/ef/eff4effef9a0ba6e2dd4f7827d0744a3.jpg)

So, A or B? Love the weird lighting of the CGI Rosamund Pike and Nick Nolte's face in A, but I like the way B presents the film as some sort of sequel to Gone Girl despite having nothing to do with it.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 10, 2018, 05:06:29 AM
Not inept but not good either.

(http://i0.wp.com/bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/kongskullislandposter.jpg?resize=691%2C1024)    (http://static.srcdn.com/slir/w1000-h1000-q90-c1000:1000/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/kong-skull-island-poster1.jpg)

This ones well good
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 10, 2018, 05:10:26 AM
A marvel of ineptitude, not in the rendering That's some nice art there, but not a single damn thing on that poster happens in the film aka CAB favourite The Final Programme.
I'm not even sure there's a scene at night. That fella in the middle, he's not in it at all *[Spoiler]There now follows a pedants deflection Yes there is an ape person at the end but they're female, in a white suit and glimpsed for all of a second[/Spoiler].
(http://wrongsideoftheart.com/wp-content/gallery/posters-f/final_programme_poster_01.jpg)

This one also amazing. What is wrong with people.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 10, 2018, 06:22:04 AM
(http://i0.wp.com/bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/kongskullislandposter.jpg?resize=691%2C1024)    (http://static.srcdn.com/slir/w1000-h1000-q90-c1000:1000/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/kong-skull-island-poster1.jpg)

This ones well good

Nah, I'm not having that.  The composition is good but the artistry on Kong and the mountain range is really cheap.  It's no more refined than an early episode of South Park and for a big-budgeted, tent-pole, Hollywood blockbuster, that's a pretty darn poor showing.  It reminds me of some of the alternate DVD covers which Arrow DVD offers with their releases...

(https://i.imgur.com/pSARad3.jpg?2)

For the record, I adore Arrow Video.  They're the UK's answer for Criterion releases, except focused more on cult horror films.  It's just that their reversible sleeve alternate covers, vary greatly in quality.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: marquis_de_sad on January 10, 2018, 06:43:44 AM
Nah, I'm not having that.  The composition is good but the artistry on Kong and the mountain range is really cheap.  It's no more refined than an early episode of South Park and for a big-budgeted, tent-pole, Hollywood blockbuster, that's a pretty darn poor showing.

It's clearly a stylistic choice. They're going for a flat, 80s vibe.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 10, 2018, 08:07:57 AM
It's clearly a stylistic choice. They're going for a flat, 80s vibe.

Obviously, your mileage varies to my own on whether that's an effective style or not but regardless, it doesn't mesh with the lower half of the poster, which is photo realistic.  The disparity between the art styles, results in a look which is all over the place and artistically undisciplined, to my eyes, at least.  It's as though someone has spliced the top half of one poster and the lower half of another poster, from two separate films, together.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: marquis_de_sad on January 10, 2018, 08:41:53 AM
While they're not going for 100% photo-realism, mist does have a flattening effect:

(https://i.imgur.com/uS0aCuu.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: itsfredtitmus on January 10, 2018, 08:48:24 AM


Nah, I'm not having that.  The composition is good but the artistry on Kong and the mountain range is really cheap.  It's no more refined than an early episode of South Park and for a big-budgeted, tent-pole, Hollywood blockbuster, that's a pretty darn poor showing.  It reminds me of some of the alternate DVD covers which Arrow DVD offers with their releases...

(https://i.imgur.com/pSARad3.jpg?2)

For the record, I adore Arrow Video.  They're the UK's answer for Criterion releases, except focused more on cult horror films.  It's just that their reversible sleeve alternate covers, vary greatly in quality.
So hideously expensive?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on January 10, 2018, 09:54:40 AM
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/91aFu6YtZJL._SL1500_.jpg)

Haven't they committed a major film poster faux pas by having the actors name lined up with their image?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Dr Rock on January 10, 2018, 10:11:36 AM
The Kong poster, as I've said before, is wrong because they are approaching a very mountainous island - such an island would not have about a mile of very shallow water as you approach.

The Rosamund Pike one - extremely terrible design, and the 'raped, tortured and humiliated' bit seems very dated, like something you would see around the time of 'I Spit On Your Grave' - the use of the word 'rape' on a film poster, for what seems like a schlocky revenge thriller seems inappropriate these days.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 10, 2018, 10:28:11 AM
So hideously expensive?

Ha.  Not so much for the Arrow releases that you'll find in your local HMV or on Amazon but they do have limited edition releases on their website (typically with yet another, exclusive disc of bonus content and a booklet) and those sell out extremely quickly and go for crazy-high prices on ebay (often exceeding £100-£150).

I was able to snap up the limited edition version of their Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 release, by way of pre-order (for around £20), which only came out last year and that's already going for £60 on ebay!  I'll never sell it though because it's a thing of beauty.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 10, 2018, 12:58:09 PM
Listen, that Kong poster is just good. The mountains are kinda stylistic, the red from the titles reflects the darker grey of Kong himself. The copters are unnecessary and geographically speaking it might not be correct, but it’s representative fiction, rather than an accurate diagram. Kong isn’t 500 feet tall either.

I’m not sure why, but I’ve decided to defend this movie poster to the very end.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on January 10, 2018, 02:04:33 PM
It's not as bad as the film I'll give it that.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: notjosh on January 10, 2018, 02:40:16 PM
Listen, that Kong poster is just good. The mountains are kinda stylistic, the red from the titles reflects the darker grey of Kong himself. The copters are unnecessary and geographically speaking it might not be correct, but it’s representative fiction, rather than an accurate diagram. Kong isn’t 500 feet tall either.

I’m not sure why, but I’ve decided to defend this movie poster to the very end.
It's not as bad as the film I'll give it that.

Both the poster and the film are absolutely stonkingly fucking good. Knocks that WETA bollocks into a cocked hat it does.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 10, 2018, 03:18:11 PM
Both the poster and the film are absolutely stonkingly fucking good. Knocks that WETA bollocks into a cocked hat it does.

Oh, come off it!  That's crazy talk.  The poster is... alright, sort of, I guess (at least it's not a generic Photoshop job, with all the principle cast member's heads surrounding Kong's angry mug) but the movie itself is shallow and badly written hokum, that's also mildly diverting and somewhat entertaining.  "Stonkingly fucking good" is hyperbole of the highest order.  That's an indisputable fact.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Thomas on January 10, 2018, 03:19:05 PM
I'd be more comfortable with the poster if it at least hinted at mountains having reflections in bodies of water.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 10, 2018, 03:20:34 PM
I'd be more comfortable with the poster if it at least hinted at mountains having reflections in bodies of water.

Yep.  As I said, the two halves of the poster don't match up.  At all.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 10, 2018, 03:36:52 PM
Oh, come off it!  That's crazy talk.  The poster is... alright, sort of, I guess (at least it's not a generic Photoshop job, with all the principle cast member's heads surrounding Kong's angry mug) but the movie itself is shallow and badly written hokum, that's also mildly diverting and somewhat entertaining.  "Stonkingly fucking good" is hyperbole of the highest order.  That's an indisputable fact.

Oh, so it’s ‘slright’ now is it? You’ve changed your tune. Just admit it is a work of art equivalent to the very finest Wolfli or Van Gogh and join the winning team.

The film itself is also a masterpiece; a real Citizen Kong.*

*I’ve never seen it, looks a bit ott for me
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 10, 2018, 04:16:44 PM
Oh, so it’s ‘slright’ now is it? You’ve changed your tune. Just admit it is a work of art equivalent to the very finest Wolfli or Van Gogh and join the winning team.

Heh, I never said that the poster was downright awful or anything.  I just think that it's a schizophrenic, artistic hodgepodge of stylistic choices.  I've certainly seen a lot worse and I've also seen a lot better.  So, yeah; 'slright.

The movie is a steaming pile of giant ape crap though.  Nah, actually it's forgettably mediocre, which is worse really.  At least a giant mound of ape poo would be memorable.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: notjosh on January 10, 2018, 05:29:14 PM
I love the film. It's a proper old-fashioned adventure movie with memorable set-pieces, colourful characters and loads of exciting creatures. It's a proper update of the original film, rather than a soulless rehash, and has some charming tributes to the original Kong which I liked. I think Merian C. Cooper would have enjoyed it too.

Easily my favourite blockbuster of 2017, much better than all these silly superheroes heroes whizzing about with their magic shields and whatnot.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 10, 2018, 05:41:56 PM
...much better than all these silly superheroes heroes whizzing about with their magic shields and whatnot.

Well, at least on that, we agree.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on January 10, 2018, 09:07:05 PM
Haven't they committed a major film poster faux pas by having the actors name lined up with their image?

(http://www.fotos.org/galeria/data/576/Batman-vuelve-Batman-Returns-tt0103776-1992-uk-q.jpg)

Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 10, 2018, 09:31:52 PM
(http://www.fotos.org/galeria/data/576/Batman-vuelve-Batman-Returns-tt0103776-1992-uk-q.jpg)

Has Danny DeVito done something different with his hair? / Michelle Pfeiffer has really let herself go!

Seriously though, this whole 'names in the wrong order' on posters thing has to stop.  It's ridiculous!  If the order of billing is of such vital importance to your marketing department, then make sure that you place the stars names and faces in the same preferred order.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on January 10, 2018, 11:38:06 PM
Jesus. That picture of Walken is as if he's gone missing and he's been age-progressed.

I'm more intrigued by the two-headed Ving Rhames/Terry Bradshaw monster in the top-right.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on January 10, 2018, 11:40:32 PM
Has Danny DeVito done something different with his hair? / Michelle Pfeiffer has really let herself go!

Seriously though, this whole 'names in the wrong order' on posters thing has to stop.  It's ridiculous!  If the order of billing is of such vital importance to your marketing department, then make sure that you place the stars names and faces in the same preferred order.

No, that's the point - DeVito and Pffieffeffeffffffrrrrrr have equal billing. That's expressed by putting him first in the names and her first in the photos.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shit Good Nose on January 10, 2018, 11:42:56 PM
Seriously though, this whole 'names in the wrong order' on posters thing has to stop.  It's ridiculous!

Yeah, it does my nut in too.  And it still happens on a fairly regular basis.  I mean, on the one hand it's one of the few times when film DOESN'T treat its audience like an idiot, because they know that we know they haven't just done a stupid fuck up.  But our eyes and brains just tell us that they've done, and keep doing, a stupid fuck up.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Thomas on January 11, 2018, 10:48:34 AM
A recent example is the poster for 2013's American Hustle -

(https://thesouloftheplot.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/poster_americanhustle.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: notjosh on January 11, 2018, 12:44:20 PM
Just take a nice big marker to the bus stop with you and treat it like a puzzle.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shit Good Nose on January 11, 2018, 12:46:58 PM
Good to see Jeremy Aenner and Jennifer Lawaence both getting work.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on January 11, 2018, 06:05:07 PM
Plus, the actual letter "A" looks like a willy.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on January 11, 2018, 10:25:06 PM
Jennifer Lcockwaence
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Dr Rock on January 11, 2018, 10:40:37 PM
(https://thesouloftheplot.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/poster_americanhustle.jpg)

Those people are not all the same height either. Annoys me when they do that. Christian Bale is (reportedly) just over 6 foot. Jennifer Lawrence, according to my slapdash research is officially 5'9'' though that's debated elsewhere saying she is more like 5'6''. Jeremy Renner is officially 5'10'' but reports say it's more like 5'8''. Amy Adams admits she is 5'4''. Bradley Cooper is 4'7''.

It's not that cinema shouldn't make these people seem taller as much as when I see a poster like that I think they are not all going to be exactly the same height.

Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on January 12, 2018, 06:07:33 AM
They seem to have included Christian Bale - who is nowhere to be seen - and yet Matthew Holness - front and centre - is totally left out of the credits. What gives?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: asids on January 12, 2018, 07:50:37 PM
Reminds me of the poster for Life which was out last year, and who would have guessed it, was mercilessly advertised on the sides of buses:

(http://i.imgur.com/VkEOtTI.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 12, 2018, 11:37:41 PM
...Amy Adams admits she is 5'4''.

"Admits".  Heh.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on January 13, 2018, 09:45:20 AM
TL;DR they’re all so short, you have the makings of a Time Bandits remake right there.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: greencalx on January 13, 2018, 10:59:01 AM
The Rosamund Pike one - extremely terrible design, and the 'raped, tortured and humiliated' bit seems very dated, like something you would see around the time of 'I Spit On Your Grave' - the use of the word 'rape' on a film poster, for what seems like a schlocky revenge thriller seems inappropriate these days.

I find the order a bit weird too, like your reaction is going to be.

Rape? Not arsed mate.
Torture? Not arsed mate.
Humiliation? Now you're talking...
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on January 13, 2018, 02:45:09 PM
Yeah, I mean, come on, people! Rape and torture all you like. But show them some respect, allow them their dignity for Christ’s sake!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Rolf Lundgren on January 13, 2018, 07:00:20 PM
I'm hoping it means at some point she gets a custard pie in the face.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: itsfredtitmus on January 13, 2018, 08:36:27 PM
what about dvd covers?

what about them?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on January 14, 2018, 11:24:21 AM
DVD covers - and video box covers before them - are probably a subject for a whole other thread. Attempts to sell films by some dubious association to some more famous film (“BY THE SCREENWRITER OF...”). Cover images that massively misrepresent the film.

I recall seeing a VHS cover for Attack Force Z. With a big picture on the front of Mel Gibson wielding a M-16. Now, it was obviously his head stuck on another body. Plus, he was billed about 3rd in the film. And the US Army adopted the M-16 in 1967. Attack Force Z is a WW2 film...
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 14, 2018, 11:47:25 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/5w06pQm.jpg?2)

Jared Leto as Mark David Chapman doing his best impersonation of Mr. Explody Face from Big Trouble in Little China, there.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 14, 2018, 06:29:33 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/5w06pQm.jpg?2)

Jared Leto as Mark David Chapman doing his best impersonation of Mr. Explody Face from Big Trouble in Little China, there.

Garth Marenghi has let himself go looks about the same.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on January 14, 2018, 09:18:05 PM
DID "the world change forever" though? Maybe for Yoko, Julian and Sean. The rest of us... I got to stay up a bit late to watch Help! one night (it was shown as a tribute the night after he was killed). There were a lot of Beatles & JL tracks in the charts in late 80 & early 81. Paul McCartney's musical reign of terror went on unchecked. But that's it, really.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on January 14, 2018, 10:05:01 PM
And yet again, Matthew Holness who is clearly on the poster gets shafted off the credits and they put Jared Leto on instead. That man just can't get a break!
Just kidding it's Phillip Seymour Hoffman back from the grave.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 14, 2018, 10:30:20 PM
Those glasses - they never get a credit, but they've appeared in nearly every Hollywood 80s retrospective film starring a slightly overweight or fully overweight actor of note.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on January 14, 2018, 10:40:27 PM
They're the ones Jonah Hill wears for serious roles.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 15, 2018, 04:41:53 AM
They're the ones Jonah Hill wears for serious roles.

Glasses = Super cereal.

Glasses = Incredibly attractive woman who nominally appears to be "geeky", until she loses the specs, tears the upper portion of her shirt and lets her hair down.  The male protagonist is somehow surprised by this 'revelation'.

Glasses = Those things that I adorn upon my misshapen potato of a head, which attract dirt and dust like a scientifically useless magnet.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: QDRPHNC on January 20, 2018, 04:02:20 PM
Poor Jared Leto - he tries so hard, doesn't he?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 22, 2018, 03:53:31 AM
Poor Jared Leto - he tries so hard, doesn't he?

I reckon his Mother pats him on the head and calls him a "good boy".  He probably gets an extra portion of chips and all.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on January 25, 2018, 02:01:29 PM
Not so much inept as in keeping with the tacky-as-fuck tone but jesus...

(http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQv_KB6qIUvgUrj4DtnMbX-d1zNsEQbC6sgZlzoATv2mCCQE6TS)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: SteveDave on January 25, 2018, 03:34:25 PM
We've got ourselves a 2 for 1 here:

(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/91aFu6YtZJL._SL1500_.jpg)


Starring Nick Nolte as Ned Beatty
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: phantom_power on January 26, 2018, 09:50:24 AM
Starring Nick Nolte as Ned Beatty

And Daniel Radcliffe as Doug Benson
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Gwen Taylor on ITV on January 26, 2018, 04:20:18 PM
And Rosamund Pike as sexy young Bob Holness
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on February 06, 2018, 12:18:43 PM
(http://static.digg.com/images/205a05a447734a10b474c470b77a1002_ca0a7904231444dbb46bd32f71682804_1_post.jpeg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shit Good Nose on February 06, 2018, 12:52:59 PM
(http://static.digg.com/images/205a05a447734a10b474c470b77a1002_ca0a7904231444dbb46bd32f71682804_1_post.jpeg)

What's wrong with that?  What am I missing?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on February 06, 2018, 01:02:51 PM
What's wrong with that?  What am I missing?

I can only speak for myself but it's quite a distasteful poster for a dumb action flick, starring The Rock.  A burning skyscraper and at a glance; what could appear to be a man jumping from a higher up window, to his death, to escape the escalating and searing heat?  Sound familiar?

I doubt that it was intended that way and I'm aware that Dwayne Johnson is jumping from the crane to the right but it may have behooved and been prudent, for the marketing team to have had a little bit more forethought and sensitivity.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shit Good Nose on February 06, 2018, 01:07:06 PM
Ahhh right.  I was looking for long necks, arms pointing in the wrong direction, massive (or tiny) heads and that sorta thing.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on February 06, 2018, 01:09:34 PM
Ahhh right.  I was looking for long necks, arms pointing in the wrong direction, massive (or tiny) heads and that sorta thing.

To be fair, that's just my take.  Perhaps @Mini has spotted a mangled pinhead somewhere in the background?

EDIT:  A quick Google search reveals that @Mini may have been referring to The Rock's doomed-to-fail jump (https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/people-pointing-out-huge-problem-11973931).
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on February 06, 2018, 02:03:22 PM
EDIT:  A quick Google search reveals that @Mini may have been referring to The Rock's doomed-to-fail jump (https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/people-pointing-out-huge-problem-11973931).

Heh, I was thinking the trajectory looked optimistic at best. Not sure a physics fail is enough to damn a movie poster though.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shit Good Nose on February 06, 2018, 02:17:11 PM
Not sure a physics fail is enough to damn a movie poster though.

As I said - long necks, arms pointing the wrong way, etc...
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on February 06, 2018, 02:53:10 PM
As I said - long necks, arms pointing the wrong way, etc...

(https://i.imgur.com/PlOTGWl.jpg?1)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: marquis_de_sad on February 06, 2018, 02:55:14 PM
Haha, good work!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on February 06, 2018, 02:55:55 PM
It just struck me as a dumb poster to be honest. I'm probably misusing this thread. But hey it's got us all talking right guys?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on February 06, 2018, 07:06:04 PM
(http://static.digg.com/images/205a05a447734a10b474c470b77a1002_ca0a7904231444dbb46bd32f71682804_1_post.jpeg)

This looks well-good. Massive hulking blokes jumping about, explosions everywhere, the much-underused blue/orange colour scheme. I’ll deffo go and watch this.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on February 06, 2018, 07:08:33 PM
What it needs is James Woods sticking his head out of that window the Rock is jumping towards, and making an "Aw, c'mon!" face and pose.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: itsfredtitmus on February 06, 2018, 07:12:49 PM
makes it look like Blood on Satan's Claw or something
(https://bostonhassle.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/deathline.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: gabrielconroy on February 07, 2018, 03:19:03 PM
Someone earlier in the thread posted some frankly excellent Polish film posters. I specifically really want to get a framed print of this poster for Back to the Future:

(https://www.polishposter.com/media/products/323112ae9a9013401670820d5329ada1/images/thumbnail/large_1837.jpg?lm=1471069943)

The only places for such Polish posters I can find are either in the US or are insanely expensive (like, £2500 for a Taxi Driver print).

Anyone know somewhere in the UK I can get that poster, or somewhere that might print it on demand (I'd have to get a hi-res image first for that)?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on February 14, 2018, 01:06:02 PM
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a4/Setup_%282011%29_film_poster.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on February 14, 2018, 01:23:24 PM
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a4/Setup_%282011%29_film_poster.jpg)

That looks like the sort of DVD that my mate owns and insists that we watch whenever we're around his place because "it's really good".  It never is.  I just sit there, hating the generic action garbage on screen and resenting my friend for making me watch such a crime against the cinematic arts but being too polite to tell him how bad the movie is and what appalling taste in film he has.  In that regard, the tagline 'Friends for life. Enemies forever' seems quite apt.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on February 14, 2018, 04:18:24 PM
50 Cent movies are an inept film poster gold(shit)mine. This one looks like a comedy but isn't:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0e/Gun_Film_Poster.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on February 14, 2018, 04:38:14 PM
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0e/Gun_Film_Poster.jpg)

Best 'ucking film ever, mate. ~ Legend Gary
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on February 14, 2018, 05:51:59 PM
And that tagline: "One gun. Many lives lost." Would be shit even without there clearly being 2 guns on the fucking poster.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: asids on February 14, 2018, 07:42:33 PM
(http://cdn.chud.com/c/cf/cf49758a_22195955_1556055447771384_4095140971619511643_n.jpeg)

Yeah, because when I think of a Steven Seagal I think...reading! And a random pitbull.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on February 14, 2018, 08:35:52 PM
Finally we have proof that Tommy Lee Jones and Jeremy Beadle were separated at birth:

(https://i.imgur.com/TR04Z8f.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on February 14, 2018, 10:53:45 PM
Morgan Freeman has basically just given up at this point, hasn't he?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: buzby on February 14, 2018, 11:35:12 PM
Morgan Freeman has basically just given up at this point, hasn't he?
His ex-wife got $400 million in their divorce settlement in 2010, so like John Cleese he'll take anything he can get.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: bgmnts on February 14, 2018, 11:37:04 PM
Neither have reached Nic Cage levels of depravity yet.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 14, 2018, 11:48:11 PM
50 Cent movies are an inept film poster gold(shit)mine. This one looks like a comedy but isn't:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0e/Gun_Film_Poster.jpg)

One gun? I see two
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 14, 2018, 11:48:44 PM
His ex-wife got $400 million in their divorce settlement in 2010, so like John Cleese he'll take anything he can get.

including anti-Russian propaganda.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on February 14, 2018, 11:56:27 PM
One gun? I see two

And that tagline: "One gun. Many lives lost." Would be shit even without there clearly being 2 guns on the fucking poster.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 15, 2018, 12:00:08 AM


two similar observations, no lives lost.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on February 15, 2018, 12:56:20 AM
His ex-wife got $400 million in their divorce settlement in 2010, so like John Cleese he'll take anything he can get.

I wonder how much he'd take to read out the entirety of the 'Schweinstein' and 'Woody Allen' threads.

I'd chuck a crisp fiver in for that.

(http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6197/6124308180_1245c452d1.jpg)
The Savile of Hollywood?

Asia Argento
Roseanna Arquette
Mira Sorvino
Angelina Jolie

he had a type, seemingly.

Scum hog roasted hopefully.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on February 15, 2018, 04:16:30 AM
*Highlighting the general lack of observation, in regards to other folk's posts*

I'd make a comment about how nobody bothers to read other peoples posts but no bugger would read it, so I shan't, even though I just did exactly that.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 15, 2018, 02:05:40 PM
I'd make a comment about how nobody bothers to read other peoples posts but no bugger would read it, so I shan't, even though I just did exactly that.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: samadriel on February 15, 2018, 02:49:30 PM
I'd make a comment about how nobody bothers to read other people's posts about how nobody bothers to read other people's posts, but no bugger would read it, so I shan't, even though I just did exactly that.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: spamwangler on February 17, 2018, 11:10:29 PM
guys, have you noticed the rather obvious numerical mistake in the 50cent poster?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: spamwangler on February 17, 2018, 11:11:00 PM
guys?

I'd make a comment about how nobody bothers to read other peoples posts but no bugger would read it, so I shan't, even though I just did exactly that.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on February 17, 2018, 11:24:01 PM
guys, have you noticed the rather obvious numerical mistake in the 50cent poster?

Oh yeah! One gun too many...
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mr Banlon on February 17, 2018, 11:48:57 PM
Not so much inept as in keeping with the tacky-as-fuck tone but jesus...

(http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQv_KB6qIUvgUrj4DtnMbX-d1zNsEQbC6sgZlzoATv2mCCQE6TS)
Reminds me of the greenhouse scene in Scum.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: newbridge on February 17, 2018, 11:59:02 PM
Not so much inept as in keeping with the tacky-as-fuck tone but jesus...

(http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQv_KB6qIUvgUrj4DtnMbX-d1zNsEQbC6sgZlzoATv2mCCQE6TS)

I'm a big fan of this one because it suggests Amanda Seyfried is, at times in her life, naked.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Replies From View on February 18, 2018, 12:12:55 PM
Reminds me of the poster for Life which was out last year, and who would have guessed it, was mercilessly advertised on the sides of buses:

(http://i.imgur.com/VkEOtTI.jpg)

Ed Miliband is looking stoic these days.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Gwen Taylor on ITV on February 18, 2018, 12:25:59 PM
Not so much inept as in keeping with the tacky-as-fuck tone but jesus...

(http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQv_KB6qIUvgUrj4DtnMbX-d1zNsEQbC6sgZlzoATv2mCCQE6TS)

Reminds me of the greenhouse scene in Scum.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on February 18, 2018, 12:33:31 PM
Reminds me of the greenhouse scene in Scum.

Reminds me of the greenhouse scene in Scum.

I'd make a comment about how nobody bothers to read other peoples posts but no bugger would read it, so I shan't, even though I just did exactly that.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: phantom_power on February 18, 2018, 12:52:47 PM
And thus the forum ate itself and disappeared into nothing, leaving only a vague smell of self-righteous anger
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bad Ambassador on February 18, 2018, 08:07:38 PM
And thus the forum ate itself and disappeared into nothing, leaving only a vague smell of self-righteous anger

Reminds me of the greenhouse scene in Scum.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 18, 2018, 09:25:22 PM
Reminds me of the greenhouse scene in Scum.

One gun? I see two.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: asids on February 18, 2018, 09:29:44 PM
One gun? I see two.

Ed Miliband is looking stoic these days.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 18, 2018, 09:33:04 PM
Ed Miliband is looking stoic these days.

I'm a big fan of this one because it suggests Amanda Seyfried is, at times in her life, naked.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on February 18, 2018, 10:10:04 PM
I BAMLEM JACK BUAER... am I doing this right?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: asids on February 18, 2018, 10:49:45 PM
I BAMLEM JACK BUAER... am I doing this right?

What it needs is James Woods sticking his head out of that window the Rock is jumping towards, and making an "Aw, c'mon!" face and pose.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 19, 2018, 12:12:31 AM
What it needs is James Woods sticking his head out of that window the Rock is jumping towards, and making an "Aw, c'mon!" face and pose.

Just take a nice big marker to the bus stop with you and treat it like a puzzle.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Sgt. Duckie on February 19, 2018, 02:36:19 AM
Can't sleep. Just went upon a three film bender consisting of Saps at Sea (TalkingPictures TV) 7.50 - 9pm...High Plains Drifter (ITV4) 9pm - 11pm and finally Zero Dark Thirty (Film4) 11.10pm - 2.15am.


Throughout these motion pictures, I noticed the sheer amount of guns on display. Saps at Sea with the Nick Jr. gun gags easily being my fave 'Sunday night freeview marathon gun moment'.

Not that interesting right? However, I've just clicked on this thread to escape the guns and I immediately study the below example of an inept film poster.


It's inept all right! The clue as to why is in the poster's tagline...but can anybody else spot it?? Anyhoo...I'm off to sleep. Laters.

]
[/size]
50 Cent movies are an inept film poster gold(shit)mine. This one looks like a comedy but isn't:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0e/Gun_Film_Poster.jpg)


Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: itsfredtitmus on February 19, 2018, 02:55:34 AM
reminds me of the greenhouse scene in scum
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bazooka on February 19, 2018, 03:22:29 AM
(http://img.moviepostershop.com/victory-movie-poster-1981-1020205213.jpg)

What a mutant, the punch of Stallone, the quick feet of Pele(assuming he has control of the beast's legs) and the cockney wit of Cane.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: phantom_power on February 19, 2018, 08:37:11 AM
That was directed by John Huston?!?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: EOLAN on February 19, 2018, 12:43:39 PM
Shouldn't Sylvester Stallone be in a different outfit as he was the goalkeeper.  Not even Nazis would allow keepers to play in the same coloured jersey as outfielders.
That was my primary problem with it.

Seconded on the "Didn't realise John Huston directed this".
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Kane Jones on February 19, 2018, 01:04:30 PM
I thought it was called Escape To Victory.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 19, 2018, 01:20:48 PM
Was this directed by John Huston???!!!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on February 19, 2018, 02:14:56 PM
Reminds me of the scene with John Huston in the greenhouse in Guns.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bazooka on February 19, 2018, 03:30:04 PM
I thought it was called Escape To Victory.

Yes, but the US title is Victory, and yes directed by John Huston!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Gwen Taylor on ITV on February 19, 2018, 03:44:19 PM
Reminds me of the scene with John Huston in the greenhouse in Guns.

Ed Miliband looking stoic in the etc etc
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: phantom_power on February 19, 2018, 05:29:17 PM
Yes, but the US title is Victory, and yes directed by John Huston!

Who is it directed by everywhere else?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on February 19, 2018, 05:50:53 PM
(http://img.moviepostershop.com/victory-movie-poster-1981-1020205213.jpg)

The horrific result of three footballers getting into Seth Brundle's teleportation pod together, there.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: The Culture Bunker on February 19, 2018, 09:38:43 PM
More criminal that John Wark misses out on being on the poster despite his sterling work as <checks> "Arthur Hayes".
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on February 19, 2018, 11:08:58 PM
For a second I thought that was the new Incredibles 2 teaser.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: phantom_power on February 20, 2018, 08:19:54 AM
Yes, but the US title is Victory, and yes directed by John Huston!

I am more surprised it was written by Yabo Yablonsky
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Dr Rock on February 20, 2018, 05:19:11 PM
I was surprised it was released late enough to fall under Parental Guidance and not U, A, AA X (the classic line-up there), but research shows it's about the same time.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on February 20, 2018, 05:40:05 PM
Someone earlier in the thread posted some frankly excellent Polish film posters. I specifically really want to get a framed print of this poster for Back to the Future:

(https://www.polishposter.com/media/products/323112ae9a9013401670820d5329ada1/images/thumbnail/large_1837.jpg?lm=1471069943)

The only places for such Polish posters I can find are either in the US or are insanely expensive (like, £2500 for a Taxi Driver print).

Anyone know somewhere in the UK I can get that poster, or somewhere that might print it on demand (I'd have to get a hi-res image first for that)?
I have a mate who collects stuff from the Eastern Bloc, mostly political things, but he goes out to visit a mate in some country in that part of the world a couple of times a year. I'll ask him if he's going over there any time soon.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on February 20, 2018, 10:18:04 PM
(http://img.moviepostershop.com/victory-movie-poster-1981-1020205213.jpg)

At first glance I honestly thought they were sixties England footballers making the shape of the World Cup.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: newbridge on February 21, 2018, 02:30:57 AM
Someone earlier in the thread posted some frankly excellent Polish film posters. I specifically really want to get a framed print of this poster for Back to the Future:

(https://www.polishposter.com/media/products/323112ae9a9013401670820d5329ada1/images/thumbnail/large_1837.jpg?lm=1471069943)

The only places for such Polish posters I can find are either in the US or are insanely expensive (like, £2500 for a Taxi Driver print).

Anyone know somewhere in the UK I can get that poster, or somewhere that might print it on demand (I'd have to get a hi-res image first for that)?

I custom printed an old movie poster from a resized high-res scan (somebody on here actually helped resize it, thanks touchingcloth! and also greenman iirc) and it looks perfect. Cost me like $20 from a website in the U.S. that does full-bleed printing, not sure if they ship internationally (or are still good).

You probably don't need a huge original image since it is mostly just black on yellow and resizing artifacts can be edited out. This might work if you photoshop out the creases: https://www.google.com/search?q=polish+back+to+the+future+poster&tbm=isch&source=lnt&tbs=isz:lt,islt:2mp&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwia5Inr-rXZAhXBVt8KHZjsCKgQpwUIHg&biw=1185&bih=631&dpr=1#imgrc=g82bI2MNerEAUM:
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Panbaams on February 21, 2018, 08:51:21 AM
Maybe they tried to contort the actors into shapes that spelt out Victory, but gave up and just settled with the V.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: gabrielconroy on February 21, 2018, 10:59:19 AM
I custom printed an old movie poster from a resized high-res scan (somebody on here actually helped resize it, thanks touchingcloth! and also greenman iirc) and it looks perfect. Cost me like $20 from a website in the U.S. that does full-bleed printing, not sure if they ship internationally (or are still good).

You probably don't need a huge original image since it is mostly just black on yellow and resizing artifacts can be edited out. This might work if you photoshop out the creases: https://www.google.com/search?q=polish+back+to+the+future+poster&tbm=isch&source=lnt&tbs=isz:lt,islt:2mp&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwia5Inr-rXZAhXBVt8KHZjsCKgQpwUIHg&biw=1185&bih=631&dpr=1#imgrc=g82bI2MNerEAUM:

Brilliant, cheers! I've got the high-res image now - not exactly a photoshop wiz, though. Any ideas how's best to go about removing the creases? Cloning the nearby blacks and yellows over it?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on February 21, 2018, 07:27:35 PM
I think you'd be best off doing a vector trace:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48_YWccD3Z4

Alternatively push the contrast quite high so the yellow is quite light,  force to true black or white then use selective colour to make white yellow again.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: QDRPHNC on February 22, 2018, 04:13:22 PM
What size do you want the poster?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: gabrielconroy on February 22, 2018, 07:06:44 PM
I think you'd be best off doing a vector trace:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48_YWccD3Z4

Alternatively push the contrast quite high so the yellow is quite light,  force to true black or white then use selective colour to make white yellow again.

Good stuff, cheers. Is this doable on Krita or one of the other free Adobe alternatives?

What size do you want the poster?

Big! Er...A3ish? Or smaller if that's a ridiculous answer, given the resolution of the image.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on February 22, 2018, 11:49:26 PM
If you vector-trace it you can blow it up as big as you like as it's scalable.

It looks like Krita can support vectors, never used it mind. It looks like gimp can do it automatically too:
https://imgur.com/gallery/xL0Ba
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: newbridge on February 23, 2018, 01:02:58 AM
You'll want the image itself the same size as the poster so that the print people don't have to resize it. I think you could go quite a bit bigger than A3. Based on cursory research it looks like the original was B1, 67 x 97 cm.

It's probably easiest to find a place that will do custom full bleed posters, see what their standard sizes are, and work from there (making everything much cheaper/easier).

When I did mine the resized image was inevitably slightly off the standard sizes, so IIRC I added an inch or so of blank space on one end and then manually filled it using the clone stamp (probably a very low-tech way of doing it).
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Keebleman on February 23, 2018, 01:39:01 PM
I was surprised it was released late enough to fall under Parental Guidance and not U, A, AA X (the classic line-up there), but research shows it's about the same time.

This is the American poster.  I think it was an A-cert in Britain.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: QDRPHNC on February 23, 2018, 05:23:50 PM
The biggest bitmap I could find on google isn't big enough to get a good vector trace from. The car comes out OK, but the smaller elements and the text get lost.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: gabrielconroy on February 24, 2018, 04:42:11 PM
Hm. I've converted it to vector in Inkscape but I have no idea how to get rid of the creases (without it looking ridiculous).

https://ibb.co/ef0Z8H

Any ideas? I've got Krita.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: spamwangler on February 24, 2018, 05:00:06 PM
hows this?

(https://i.imgur.com/pHtHgsK.png)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: spamwangler on February 24, 2018, 05:03:47 PM
or this?

(https://i.imgur.com/pyWhA8b.png)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: newbridge on February 25, 2018, 04:15:37 PM
That's the default Windows wallpaper in Poland.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Kelvin on March 01, 2018, 07:08:20 PM
(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMjA2Nzc1NzQ1OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwOTE0MDE1MQ@@._V1_.jpg)

"Just turn him 80 degrees."
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on March 02, 2018, 10:03:27 PM
"Just turn him 80 degrees."

"Flip""Flip him 80 degrees".  Because pancakes.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on March 13, 2018, 09:08:35 PM
"Women with no heads in film posters" is trending on Twitter. Reminded me of this.

(https://www.discshop.se/img/front_large/28199/detroit_rock_city.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on March 13, 2018, 10:28:01 PM
Could be just me but every time I look at her tiny wrists and then her thighs, the latter look ridiculously huge:

(https://i.imgur.com/b9NvdqL.jpg)

The lead actress also looks like a dead friend of mine. :(
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on March 14, 2018, 12:28:04 AM
Could be just me but every time I look at her tiny wrists and then her thighs, the latter look ridiculously huge:

(https://i.imgur.com/b9NvdqL.jpg)

Face appears to have hinged forward too.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: samadriel on March 15, 2018, 08:26:41 AM
And I think they'll find that archaeology was already badass.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on June 26, 2018, 08:06:05 PM
I feel sorry for the people on the middle row of "Dancin: It's On!", who appear to have been forced to jump in the air despite severe neck injuries.

(https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yGDUUe0mnEY/VhVgm4nnSSI/AAAAAAAABXg/88KhCWN-NK0/s1600/HH_Dancin_Happy_Poster.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on June 27, 2018, 06:59:51 PM
The Widescreen Festival appears to be the only film festival I'm aware of set solely on a boat: https://youtu.be/rY2zCY_pULw?t=3
- and a quick glance at http://widescreenfest.com/ seems to suggest it ran for three years and then failed to go ahead this year.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Clownbaby on July 06, 2018, 04:59:23 PM
One of my friends was doing a dissertation on movie posters and I showed her the poster for Father Figures. I think I genuinely tainted her life
(http://www.impawards.com/2017/posters/bastards_ver3_xlg.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blue Jam on July 06, 2018, 05:32:30 PM
(https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yGDUUe0mnEY/VhVgm4nnSSI/AAAAAAAABXg/88KhCWN-NK0/s1600/HH_Dancin_Happy_Poster.jpg)

great great brill brill wicked wicked skill skill
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on July 09, 2018, 05:05:55 PM
Given that Pamela Anderson does, indeed, show her boobs in this movie, it might have been slightly more sensible to just take an actual photo of her for the cover rather than this monstrosity.

(https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1829/28432540447_608f3bbbe5_z.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on July 09, 2018, 06:02:31 PM
Haha!  I like the way that they couldn't even be bothered to try and match the two different heads of hair.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on November 12, 2018, 10:42:04 PM
The best of The Crow sequels? Talk about damning with faint praise.

(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/68/6b/38/686b3899d8a11f1e634b2ea37691c3a4.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: a duncandisorderly on November 12, 2018, 10:46:32 PM
One of my friends was doing a dissertation on movie posters and I showed her the poster for Father Figures. I think I genuinely tainted her life
(http://www.impawards.com/2017/posters/bastards_ver3_xlg.jpg)

fucking hell.

"there's eight of them, & they all have it in their contracts to be on the poster, same size as everyone else, but the posters have to be portrait. also, some of the headshots need a little work..."

"it's ok, I've got this..."
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on November 13, 2018, 05:14:45 AM
I feel sorry for the people on the middle row of "Dancin: It's On!", who appear to have been forced to jump in the air despite severe neck injuries.

(https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yGDUUe0mnEY/VhVgm4nnSSI/AAAAAAAABXg/88KhCWN-NK0/s1600/HH_Dancin_Happy_Poster.jpg)

I like the quote at the top that suggests the reviewer couldn't be bothered to find out whether Step Up came first or High School Musical did.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Hey, Punk! on November 15, 2018, 01:03:34 AM
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dXnETd-i0FM/Tzzbke-VuKI/AAAAAAAAFA4/Y6GtKKuGozU/s400/frank_frazetta_afightingmanofmars.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/wM8M4PL.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on January 02, 2019, 01:23:06 PM
(https://www.pastposters.com/cw3/assets/product_full/JamieF-EW/wings-of-the-apache-cinema-quad-movie-poster-(1).jpg)
In "severe neck injury movie poster" news, Tommy Lee Jones.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Brundle-Fly on January 02, 2019, 03:12:37 PM
It's courteous of Medusa Films to lend their logo to Sean Young to have a surreptitious piss.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: The Culture Bunker on January 02, 2019, 04:50:21 PM
Sort of seems like they've transported Tommy Lee Jones circa 1975 to appear in their dodgy late 80s action flick.

He also has an expression of a man who just saw his cat get run over by a juggernaut doing 80mph.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 02, 2019, 11:28:39 PM
(https://www.pastposters.com/cw3/assets/product_full/JamieF-EW/wings-of-the-apache-cinema-quad-movie-poster-(1).jpg)
In "severe neck injury movie poster" news, Tommy Lee Jones.

This film is impressively bad - I encourage people to seek it out.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 03, 2019, 08:09:20 AM
Flop Gun?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on January 03, 2019, 05:12:09 PM
I know I’ve seen it. But I can remember nothing at all about it.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 04, 2019, 12:24:09 AM
Flop Gun?

The review pull-quote on the cover of the VHS copy I owned at university said “if you liked Top Gun... you will have a good time”

The praise seemed so laughably artificial that I tried to find the actual review it was taken from, to no avail. The idea of this was much more entertaining than the actual film, which was dog turds.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 04, 2019, 02:11:46 AM
The review pull-quote on the cover of the VHS copy I owned at university said “if you liked Top Gun... you will have a good time”

The praise seemed so laughably artificial that I tried to find the actual review it was taken from, to no avail...

No doubt something along the lines of...

"If you liked Top Gun, you may be tempted to watch Wings of Apache, in the hope of similar thrills but unfortunately, with this cheap knock-off, you'll be flying into a no thrills danger zone.  If on the other hand, you get a perverse pleasure out of watching laughable cinematic tripe, then you will have a good time."
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 04, 2019, 04:41:19 AM
No doubt something along the lines of...

"If you liked Top Gun, you may be tempted to watch Wings of Apache, in the hope of similar thrills but unfortunately, with this cheap knock-off, you'll be flying into a no thrills danger zone.  If on the other hand, you get a perverse pleasure out of watching laughable cinematic tripe, then you will have a good time."

I thought it was more along the lines of...

“If you liked Top Gun [go and watch that instead]; you will have a good time”

Edit: here it is, quote at the top.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wings-Apache-VHS-Nicolas-Cage/dp/B00008T2XM

I’d forgotten all the music (including the incidental sunset/helicopter fight stuff) was written and performed by Phil Collins. This film feels like a fever-dream. Nic Cage screams “I AM THE GREATEST” more than once, in normal conversation.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 04, 2019, 10:56:16 AM
I thought it was more along the lines of...

“If you liked Top Gun [go and watch that instead]; you will have a good time”

Edit: here it is, quote at the top.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wings-Apache-VHS-Nicolas-Cage/dp/B00008T2XM

Oh, being the case that the actual quote is "if you enjoyed Top Gun, you'll have a great time"; that means that it's not a spliced quote because there's no ellipses (which is a legal requirement, if a quote is spliced together from two separate sentences of a review).  However, note that no source for the quote is provided, which means that it's a quote made by the producers/marketing team themselves and not sourced from an actual review (designed to trick potential buyers into thinking that it's a quote from a review).

I looked into and learned these common marketing tricks when I was a kid, having being burned one too many times.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on January 04, 2019, 02:27:15 PM
"Absolutely brilliant!" - David Darling
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on January 04, 2019, 05:43:07 PM
“Choppers, Norks, and one big tit” - The Sun
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: greencalx on January 04, 2019, 08:55:45 PM
I like the quote at the top that suggests the reviewer couldn't be bothered to find out whether Step Up came first or High School Musical did.

I've never understood these "best X since Y" type comments in reviews, and even less so when they get pulled out as an endorsement. For starters, it relies on the person reading it (i) having knowledge of Y; (ii) thinking that Y was good to begin with; and (iii) would consider seeing something that is not as good as Y.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: The Culture Bunker on January 04, 2019, 10:06:52 PM
This film feels like a fever-dream. Nic Cage screams “I AM THE GREATEST” more than once, in normal conversation.
Saying it's a film that has Cage screaming random gibberish narrows it down to about 20 or 30, doesn't it?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 05, 2019, 12:35:45 AM
Saying it's a film that has Cage screaming random gibberish narrows it down to about 20 or 30, doesn't it?

Yes.

I’ve voluntarily sat through multiple screenings of Vampire’s Kiss and Red Rock West, so I should know.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 05, 2019, 12:44:54 AM
I've never understood these "best X since Y" type comments in reviews, and even less so when they get pulled out as an endorsement. For starters, it relies on the person reading it (i) having knowledge of Y; (ii) thinking that Y was good to begin with; and (iii) would consider seeing something that is not as good as Y.

Nothing is better than Y.  Y is the pinnacle of human achievement.

X is for muppets.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: marquis_de_sad on January 05, 2019, 01:54:10 AM
Nothing is better than Y.  Y is the pinnacle of human achievement.

Why?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 05, 2019, 01:58:01 AM
Why?

Y is why and so are you.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: jobotic on January 05, 2019, 09:57:39 AM
Sagittarius 22 Nov - 21 Dec “if you liked Top Gun... you will have a good time”

Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: olliebean on January 05, 2019, 05:51:58 PM
Nothing is better than Y.  Y is the pinnacle of human achievement.

X is for muppets.

Fuckin' misogynist.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thraxx on January 05, 2019, 06:15:08 PM
(https://www.pastposters.com/cw3/assets/product_full/JamieF-EW/wings-of-the-apache-cinema-quad-movie-poster-(1).jpg)
In "severe neck injury movie poster" news, Tommy Lee Jones.

An Apache doesn’t even have wings. It’s a helicopter. Those little stubby things are weapons pylons. It should have been called blades of the apache.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on January 05, 2019, 06:29:11 PM
An Apache doesn’t even have wings. It’s a helicopter. Those little stubby things are weapons pylons. It should have been called blades of the apache.

They’ve had to put all the Apache AH-64 attack helicopters *exactly* front-on (including a silhouette of one right in the actual title text), to hammer home the point that the stubby sponsors that cradle the auto-cannons are “wings” because look, ahh do you not see, wings, ahhhh.

It was renamed “Fire Birds” for US (?) distribution, so presumably common sense crashed their party shortly after initial release.

Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on January 06, 2019, 08:03:28 PM
Fuckin' misogynist.

Fucking chromosomes have ruined me, yet again!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: batwings on January 07, 2019, 06:06:31 PM
An Apache doesn’t even have wings. It’s a helicopter. Those little stubby things are weapons pylons. It should have been called blades of the apache.

Well, technically a helicopter's blades are wings, hence the term rotary wing aircraft. I doubt the producers had that in mind though.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mini on January 15, 2019, 03:42:50 PM
(https://i1.wp.com/teaser-trailer.com/wp-content/uploads/Fighting-with-my-Family-UK-Poster.jpg?ssl=1)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: cliggg on February 10, 2019, 08:30:21 PM
This film poster is just funny. No one involved in making this poster gives a shit about the film it's for.

(http://filmmusicreporter.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/backtrace.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Phil_A on February 10, 2019, 08:56:41 PM
This film poster is just funny. No one involved in making this poster gives a shit about the film it's for.

(http://filmmusicreporter.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/backtrace.jpg)

Nice to see Elbow's Guy Garvey getting some acting work.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 10, 2019, 09:00:21 PM
Advert for lipstick?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Dex Sawash on February 10, 2019, 09:11:13 PM

Never heard of Ryan Guzman
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 10, 2019, 09:15:24 PM
Never heard of Ryan Guzman

Ratio of Guzman to Modine to Stallone in film

99:0.9:0.1
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bazooka on February 10, 2019, 11:07:28 PM
This film poster is just funny. No one involved in making this poster gives a shit about the film it's for.

(http://filmmusicreporter.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/backtrace.jpg)

Music composed by Tom Jones more like.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on February 10, 2019, 11:30:26 PM
(https://i.ibb.co/WnKSydq/Untitled.png) (https://imgbb.com/)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on February 10, 2019, 11:55:18 PM
This film poster is just funny. No one involved in making this poster gives a shit about the film it's for.

(http://filmmusicreporter.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/backtrace.jpg)

Jay Leno gets his face but not his name on the poster?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: samadriel on February 11, 2019, 03:18:27 AM
Oo, Matthew AND Modine.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bazooka on February 11, 2019, 03:19:30 AM
Jay Leno gets his face but not his name on the poster?

Brilliant. Stallone has clearly been told about the films existence for the first time.

Driving along with your mates, playing some tunes, "what's this one?"
"Backtrace original motion picture soundtrack, let's give it a whirl"

"Didn't they make a film based on this?"
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: cliggg on March 26, 2019, 10:37:31 AM
The Bombing - Watch Bruce Willis look constipated... in a WAR ZONE!!!!

(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/CQ_9UbnbZUk/maxresdefault.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on March 26, 2019, 11:29:39 AM
Adrien Brody there, looking peeved at the guy just out of shot, smoking and inconsiderably flicking embers in his and Willis' direction.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Enrico Palazzo on March 26, 2019, 11:33:43 AM
Adrian Brody and Bruce Willis must be due a film also starring John Cusack.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Dex Sawash on March 26, 2019, 11:39:47 AM
Adrien Brody there, looking peeved at the guy just out of shot, smoking and inconsiderably flicking embers in his and Willis' direction.

"Can we get a minute? Bumming here"
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: AliasTheCat on March 26, 2019, 07:18:44 PM
Never heard of Ryan Guzman

He was great in Drove.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on March 26, 2019, 09:43:32 PM
"Can we get a minute? Bumming here"

There's definitely a reach-around happening, and neither of them are happy with its execution.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: icehaven on March 27, 2019, 08:34:13 AM
The Bombing - Watch Bruce Willis look constipated... in a WAR ZONE!!!!

(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/CQ_9UbnbZUk/maxresdefault.jpg)

If you cut it so they aren't there it's much better. This is also probably true of the film.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: buzby on March 27, 2019, 09:10:43 AM
The Bombing - Watch Bruce Willis look constipated... in a WAR ZONE!!!!

(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/CQ_9UbnbZUk/maxresdefault.jpg)
Everything about that poster is wrong. It's presumably based on the Bombing of Chongqing (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombing_of_Chongqing) by the Japanese, which started in 1938 (the film is apparently set in 1940, but the opening of the film shows the first raid happening in 1937). The planes on the poster are Vought F4U Corsairs, which were only released to squadron service in 1942 (in the film the American Volunteer Group pilots in the CAF are shown flying the Curtiss P40 Warhawk, which is correct for the period).

Willis' character is loosely based on General Claire Lee Chennault, the commander of the AVG. He never had a beard, and it was against the USAAF regulations to grow one.

It changed title to Air Strike for the US market, but the posteer isn't much better:
(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNWQ2ZmYzM2EtYTMwZS00YjcxLWEzNGItMGQxM2I2ZDhmN2I2XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTg4MDYyNw@@._V1_.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Enrico Palazzo on March 27, 2019, 09:17:57 AM
And another. Something tells me the pilots on the right and left aren't in the film.

(https://cdn3.clickthecity.com/images/movies/poster/600/16758.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: buzby on March 27, 2019, 01:46:04 PM
And another. Something tells me the pilots on the right and left aren't in the film.
(https://cdn3.clickthecity.com/images/movies/poster/600/16758.jpg)
There's a P51C 'Razorback' Mustang (which the ROCAF never got until 1945) blowing the wing off a Spitfire Mk9 on that one!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on March 27, 2019, 04:14:38 PM
And another. Something tells me the pilots on the right and left aren't in the film.

(https://cdn3.clickthecity.com/images/movies/poster/600/16758.jpg)

That poster makes it look like Birdemic: Shock and Terror.

Something tells me the pilots on the right and left aren't in the film.

I love the one on the right in particular.  I can imagine him slowly emerging into view, from behind the shoulder of Seung-Heon Song, accompanied by a slide whistle, saying "hello!" and slowly lowering himself out of view again, as the slide whistle goes back down in tone.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on March 27, 2019, 05:46:30 PM
Adrian Brody's face in that The Bombing poster... "what have I gotten myself into?!"
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: The Culture Bunker on March 27, 2019, 06:09:31 PM
Adrian Brody's face in that The Bombing poster... "what have I gotten myself into?!"
First poster is presumably on the first day of shooting.

Second poster: heavy depression after first week.

Third poster: composing note to agent with general gist of "I blame you for everything" before throwing self off cliff.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on March 27, 2019, 06:37:58 PM
It'd be great if Bruce Willis had a contract that stipulated that Adrien Brody should be in every film he does from now on, and must appear on the poster looking devastated.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on March 27, 2019, 09:14:28 PM
It'd be great if Bruce Willis had a contract that stipulated that Adrien Brody should be in every film he does from now on, and must appear on the poster looking devastated.

First thought: what could Brody have possibly to him to deserve that?!
Second thought: Kevin Smith dodged a bullet.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: The Culture Bunker on March 27, 2019, 10:10:56 PM
However, I do like the fact they at least managed to get Brody to make three distinct expressions, while giving the designer just the single Willis scowl to work with.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on March 27, 2019, 10:21:14 PM
However, I do like the fact they at least managed to get Brody to make three distinct expressions, while giving the designer just the single Willis scowl to work with.

I imagine that Bruce Willis refused to have more than one photo taken during the poster shoot.  That's exactly the sort of thing that he'd do, given the 'I don't give a shit.  Fuck you' attitude that he's been sporting for near enough two decades now.  It's only his ego that won't allow him to do the decent thing and retire.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on March 27, 2019, 11:13:36 PM
That film screams "money laundering front"
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on March 28, 2019, 01:49:59 AM
I imagine that Bruce Willis refused to have more than one photo taken during the poster shoot.  That's exactly the sort of thing that he'd do, given the 'I don't give a shit.  Fuck you' attitude that he's been sporting for near enough two decades now.  It's only his ego that won't allow him to do the decent thing and retire.

And I bet some fans were waiting outside the shoot and he forced a smile for them and muttered something about having to pretend to be nice nowadays.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: McChesney Duntz on March 30, 2019, 03:22:51 AM
I can't but wonder what the fuck happened to Willis - time was, he was forever barely holding back a wise-assy smirk no matter what he was doing; now, he has a permanent dead-eyed glumness about him, a real I'd-rather-be-anywhere-else-right-now demeanor that's swallowed up even the sorts of parts he'd have bebopped through 15, 20 years ago. I mean, was working with Kevin Smith so unbearable that it ruined screen acting for him for good?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mr Banlon on March 30, 2019, 04:11:30 AM
Everything about that poster is wrong. It's presumably based on the Bombing of Chongqing (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombing_of_Chongqing) by the Japanese, which started in 1938 (the film is apparently set in 1940, but the opening of the film shows the first raid happening in 1937). The planes on the poster are Vought F4U Corsairs, which were only released to squadron service in 1942 (in the film the American Volunteer Group pilots in the CAF are shown flying the Curtiss P40 Warhawk, which is correct for the period).

Willis' character is loosely based on General Claire Lee Chennault, the commander of the AVG. He never had a beard, and it was against the USAAF regulations to grow one.

It changed title to Air Strike for the US market, but the posteer isn't much better:
(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNWQ2ZmYzM2EtYTMwZS00YjcxLWEzNGItMGQxM2I2ZDhmN2I2XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTg4MDYyNw@@._V1_.jpg)
Willis should also be wearing Command Pilot wings, not Senior Pilot wings.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: a duncandisorderly on March 30, 2019, 09:06:33 AM
However, I do like the fact they at least managed to get Brody to make three distinct expressions, while giving the designer just the single Willis scowl to work with.

"you get your shot?"
"yes, but...."
"you got your shot. you said you got your shot."
"yes, but... you're not supposed to have a beard."
"airbrush, junior. I'm going back to my trailer."
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on March 30, 2019, 10:38:07 AM
I can't but wonder what the fuck happened to Willis - time was, he was forever barely holding back a wise-assy smirk no matter what he was doing; now, he has a permanent dead-eyed glumness about him, a real I'd-rather-be-anywhere-else-right-now demeanor that's swallowed up even the sorts of parts he'd have bebopped through 15, 20 years ago. I mean, was working with Kevin Smith so unbearable that it ruined screen acting for him for good?

All the money in the world + ego beyond belief + complacency + aged bastard = Bruce Willis.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: alan nagsworth on March 30, 2019, 11:31:36 AM
And another. Something tells me the pilots on the right and left aren't in the film.

(https://cdn3.clickthecity.com/images/movies/poster/600/16758.jpg)

This one genuinely made me howl with laughter. Fuck, Hollywood film posters are absolutely abysmal.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on March 30, 2019, 11:50:27 AM
This one genuinely made me howl with laughter. Fuck, Hollywood film posters are absolutely abysmal.

It's a great shame.  Posters in the 80's were generally fantastic.  At what point did the publicity people decide 'yeah, let's stop making good things'?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on March 30, 2019, 12:35:37 PM
At what point did the publicity people decide 'yeah, let's stop making good things'?

Photoshop, init. Why pay somebody with skill, when you can knock up a basic image in half an hour?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Avril Lavigne on March 30, 2019, 12:36:57 PM
It's a great shame.  Posters in the 80's were generally fantastic.  At what point did the publicity people decide 'yeah, let's stop making good things'?

I can't answer for Hollywood but I will say that I've lost various commissions for bands' album covers & posters to graphic designers doing quick Photoshop collage jobs because nobody wants to pay for all the hours it takes an artist to design & draw/paint a publishable-quality piece by hand.  I've had excited & enthusiastic potential clients just dropping all communication with me as soon as I give them a minimum quote for what they're asking. By a week later I'll see they've got a new single out with cover art that could have been done by a first-year A-Level graphic design student - and probably was, in exchange for "exposure".
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: alan nagsworth on March 30, 2019, 12:41:35 PM
I can't answer for Hollywood but I will say that I've lost various commissions for bands' album covers & posters to graphic designers doing quick Photoshop collage jobs because nobody wants to pay for all the hours it takes an artist to design & draw/paint a publishable-quality piece by hand.  I've had excited & enthusiastic potential clients just dropping all communication with me as soon as I give them a minimum quote for what they're asking. By a week later I'll see they've got a new single out with cover art that could have been done by a first-year A-Level graphic design student - and probably was, in exchange for "exposure".

I have a feeling you may enjoy this subreddit (http://reddit.com/r/choosingbeggars).
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on March 31, 2019, 03:15:47 AM
I can't answer for Hollywood but I will say that I've lost various commissions for bands' album covers & posters to graphic designers doing quick Photoshop collage jobs because nobody wants to pay for all the hours it takes an artist to design & draw/paint a publishable-quality piece by hand.  I've had excited & enthusiastic potential clients just dropping all communication with me as soon as I give them a minimum quote for what they're asking. By a week later I'll see they've got a new single out with cover art that could have been done by a first-year A-Level graphic design student - and probably was, in exchange for "exposure".

The difference being that Hollywood movies have a promotion budget in the millions.  Still, I suppose that it could scale.  "Let's pay a million and save a million".  That doesn't really explain why posters were artful in the the past, mind.

Thinking about it, perhaps it was simply a ripple effect born from the invention of Photoshop.  A new generation of poster creators, raised on Photoshop.  A lost art.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on March 31, 2019, 04:25:39 PM
Part of it is, I think, that a film's branding does't remain constant. There is a certain amount - most commonly the film's logo, how the title is written, that sort of thing. But there can be several posters, and the elements which do or don't transfer across poster formats etc., who decides that? I could easily see the studios being happy to let the exhibitors have the responsibility (and the cost) of doing so, especially how much of the gross they get.

Plus there's the variation across territories. Where posters either aren't available, or are amended to better suit the local market (or pander to local prejudices), or are ignored completely. Meaning you get examples like the Twelve Years A Slave poster from Italy which is just a big picture of Brad Pitt, or all those homemade posters from Ghana or Poland or Turkey or India (etc.).

Faced with all that, it doesn't really surprise me that inept Photoshops and collages have become the norm. Sure there are lots of talented artists out there, but they often want to put their own spin on things. Here's one (historic) example:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/55/The_gauntlet.jpg)

It's terrific - but does it really match the look or content of the film?

Then there are some artists who're doing fan art but are now getting proper work from studios, like Matt Ferguson (https://twitter.com/Cakes_Comics)...
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on April 01, 2019, 06:56:02 PM
I think they tried to cram too much in here. And I don't remember him skiing in a tuxedo. Tonally, the movie is quite different from the fun smirkfest suggested in the below. But I can understand them throwing everything at the wall to get punters in the door.

(https://i.etsystatic.com/16650390/r/il/445fac/1516744251/il_570xN.1516744251_gw46.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on April 01, 2019, 07:30:12 PM
(https://i.etsystatic.com/16650390/r/il/445fac/1516744251/il_570xN.1516744251_gw46.jpg)

"James Bond does explosive shart on lady's legs.  More at seven."
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on April 01, 2019, 11:02:07 PM
The Tuxedo is a required element of Bond posters. You Only Live Twice would have you believe he flew Little Nellie wearing one; Moonraker, that he had one on under a space suit (that he didn’t wear in the film either).
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on April 01, 2019, 11:22:41 PM
The Tuxedo is a required element of Bond posters. You Only Live Twice would have you believe he flew Little Nellie wearing one; Moonraker, that he had one on under a space suit (that he didn’t wear in the film either).

The problem is that it stretches the suspension of one's disbelief beyond breaking point.  I can accept a lot of nonsense in action film posters but the laws of physics and aerodynamics dictate that it's literally impossible for a man to ski whilst wearing a tuxedo.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Avril Lavigne on April 02, 2019, 01:14:19 AM
That poster tells me everything I need to know - Bond is a daft load of shit for nerks.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on April 02, 2019, 10:46:22 PM
The problem is that it stretches the suspension of one's disbelief beyond breaking point.  I can accept a lot of nonsense in action film posters but the laws of physics and aerodynamics dictate that it's literally impossible for a man to ski whilst wearing a tuxedo.

Anything is possible (https://i.pinimg.com/originals/2c/20/23/2c2023bc544a2c2736fcf70ffef97662.jpg).
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on April 03, 2019, 12:11:29 AM
Anything is possible (https://i.pinimg.com/originals/2c/20/23/2c2023bc544a2c2736fcf70ffef97662.jpg).

Well, of course one can ski naked.  One can also ski in any form of clothing, up to and including a full suit of medieval knight's armour.  One however, simply cannot ski in a tuxedo.  It simply cannot be done.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on April 03, 2019, 02:00:01 PM
Steady on there, Captain Subjective. Objectively, you are wrong.

https://youtu.be/ujgZ5qAcPBQ
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on April 03, 2019, 03:16:15 PM
Steady on there, Captain Subjective. Objectively, you are wrong.

https://youtu.be/ujgZ5qAcPBQ

Those are ski suits with tuxedos painted on them.  That's not the same thing at all.  It is impossible to ski whilst wearing an actual tuxedo.  Objective fact.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: marquis_de_sad on April 03, 2019, 05:27:54 PM
Please stop saying tuxedo.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Sin Agog on April 03, 2019, 06:56:06 PM
Those are ski suits with tuxedos painted on them.  That's not the same thing at all.  It is impossible to ski whilst wearing an actual tuxedo.  Objective fact.

I once went skiing wearing a suit jacket.  Just didn't fancy following the rule that you have to look like a Minsk factory worker from the '80s just 'cause you're up a mountain.  So long as there isn't too much wind, it can actually be relatively warm up there in the sun.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on May 27, 2019, 03:11:20 AM

(https://i.imgur.com/961HBfh.jpg?1)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on May 27, 2019, 07:19:03 AM
That poster is captivating me, mate.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on May 27, 2019, 10:03:45 AM
It’s an odd film. Be a good future CaB Film Club contender.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Glebe on June 12, 2019, 01:13:18 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/EgOISR0.jpg)

Please get that as far away from me as possible.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on June 12, 2019, 01:54:19 AM
Can't wait to see the new Spider-Man movie titled IMAX.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on June 12, 2019, 02:18:43 AM
mash up of I, Robot and Mad Max
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on June 14, 2019, 08:10:48 PM
The poster for the new Rambo movie is astoundingly incompetent for a major studio release...

(https://i.imgur.com/skJmp4q.jpg)

It looks as though somebody's photoshopped some flames on top of a freeze frame from a dodgy pirated copy of the movie.  Also, due to the discrepancy between the size of John Rambo and the trees/flames, he looks like he's a kaijū with tiny legs.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Crabwalk on June 14, 2019, 08:19:00 PM
Giving him withered legs is certainly a bold design choice.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: holyzombiejesus on June 14, 2019, 11:55:29 PM
I quite like the idea behind it but the execution is awful. The size, colour, positioning and texture of the title/ logo is shit.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on June 15, 2019, 02:03:47 PM
It’s the way that even in blurred silhouette he looks old and fat.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on June 21, 2019, 06:50:08 PM
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/54/Dracula2000poster.jpeg)

That tag line doesn't make a lick of sense.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shit Good Nose on June 21, 2019, 07:01:02 PM
The poster for the new Rambo movie is astoundingly incompetent for a major studio release...

(https://i.imgur.com/skJmp4q.jpg)

It looks as though somebody's photoshopped some flames on top of a freeze frame from a dodgy pirated copy of the movie.  Also, due to the discrepancy between the size of John Rambo and the trees/flames, he looks like he's a kaijū with tiny legs.

I'm not saying it's a great poster, but aren't the "trees" actually just ground brush?


(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/54/Dracula2000poster.jpeg)

That tag line doesn't make a lick of sense.

Again, I'm not saying it's great, and it is clumsily worded, but surely it's just as simple as "our time".
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on June 21, 2019, 07:02:17 PM
That tag line doesn't make a lick of sense.

Haha.  You're right, it doesn't!  It should be something along the lines of 'The most seductive evil of ancient times, has now been unleashed in ours'.

Again, I'm not saying it's great, and it is clumsily worded, but surely it's just as simple as "our time".

The issue is that the tagline says 'of all time', which by definition would include 'our time'.

I'm not saying it's a great poster, but aren't the "trees" actually just ground brush?

They look more like trees to me.  Besides, in terms of scale, the flames appear to be too large for knee height.  Those are raging fires, several metres high.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shit Good Nose on June 21, 2019, 07:20:50 PM
I think we'll just have to agree to disagree on both points.

Again, we've always got Alien 3.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: a duncandisorderly on June 22, 2019, 08:10:29 AM
I think we'll just have to agree to disagree on both points.

Again, we've always got Alien 3.

'alien 4' was better.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on June 22, 2019, 08:59:33 AM
I think we'll just have to agree to disagree on both points.

Again, we've always got Alien 3.

He’s right on Dracula, wrong on Rambo
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shit Good Nose on June 22, 2019, 09:41:50 AM
'alien 4' was better.

This guy...
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: a duncandisorderly on June 22, 2019, 09:44:19 AM
This guy...

...is an inept film poster?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Shit Good Nose on June 22, 2019, 09:51:51 AM
...is an inept film poster?

Well played.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on June 22, 2019, 11:04:37 AM
...is an inept film poster?




+1/-0 karma for this message
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Panbaams on July 26, 2019, 08:21:04 AM
A Fish Called Wanda, starring John Cleese, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline and Michael Palin – and introducing Wanda, the alien fish-woman:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4f/A_Fish_Called_Wanda_DVD.jpg)

I’d assumed this artwork was a DVD cover, but apparently not – this is the original US poster.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Blumf on July 26, 2019, 10:24:21 AM
Looks like some Dreamworks mistake.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bazooka on July 26, 2019, 10:37:36 AM
Its just copying the Usual Suspects poster, but added radioactive mutations.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on July 26, 2019, 02:59:19 PM
The Shape of Wanda
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on July 26, 2019, 04:56:50 PM
Its just copying the Usual Suspects poster, but added radioactive mutations.

It came out five years before?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bad Ambassador on July 26, 2019, 05:09:17 PM
Cleese is squashed.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: PlanktonSideburns on July 26, 2019, 07:48:56 PM
The poster for the new Rambo movie is astoundingly incompetent for a major studio release...

(https://i.imgur.com/skJmp4q.jpg)

It looks as though somebody's photoshopped some flames on top of a freeze frame from a dodgy pirated copy of the movie.  Also, due to the discrepancy between the size of John Rambo and the trees/flames, he looks like he's a kaijū with tiny legs.

What's he doing with that trombone
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on July 26, 2019, 08:12:19 PM
He looks really fat in silhouette.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on July 26, 2019, 08:20:02 PM
And they say black is slimming.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Famous Mortimer on July 26, 2019, 11:30:14 PM
He's 70 years old or whatever, dunno what you monsters expect.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on July 26, 2019, 11:39:12 PM
73. But when he was 66, only 7 years ago, he looked like this:

(https://www.pittsburghurbanmedia.com/clientfiles/image/stallone.jpg)

EDIT: Mind you, i was aiming for that myself... and now I’m not. Depressed now.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: thecuriousorange on July 27, 2019, 12:14:37 AM
OK, I know it's not a film poster, but what the shit is this?

(https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/d0oAAOSwtz5dKcG4/s-l400.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: marquis_de_sad on July 27, 2019, 12:59:21 AM
OK, I know it's not a film poster, but what the shit is this?

(https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/d0oAAOSwtz5dKcG4/s-l400.jpg)

"I've done a quick mock-up to give you the general idea. I know a great photoshop artist who can make it work."

"No, that's ok, we'll just use this and not pay anything."
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on July 27, 2019, 01:29:38 AM
Also - "subversive"?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bazooka on July 27, 2019, 01:33:00 AM
It came out five years before?

Damn your facts.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on July 27, 2019, 02:21:42 AM
OK, I know it's not a film poster, but what the shit is this?

(https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/d0oAAOSwtz5dKcG4/s-l400.jpg)

Is it not one of those lenticular covers, where the image changes, depending on how you angle it?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: marquis_de_sad on July 27, 2019, 03:05:23 AM
Is it not one of those lenticular covers, where the image changes, depending on how you angle it?

Don't think so. Here's a photo from ebay:

(https://i.imgur.com/JSpgz5a.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: zomgmouse on July 27, 2019, 03:07:08 AM
Jordan Peele the master of horror??? I mean he's directed two films. Come on, Empire.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on July 27, 2019, 03:36:07 AM
And one of them was shit. I thought the same.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: St_Eddie on July 27, 2019, 03:46:28 AM
Don't think so. Here's a photo from ebay...

Ah, okay.  In that case, I agree; that cover is awful.

Jordan Peele the master of horror??? I mean he's directed two films. Come on, Empire.

Yeah, I mean Empire are really letting their standards sli... oh.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: a duncandisorderly on July 27, 2019, 08:38:54 AM
A Fish Called Wanda, starring John Cleese, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline and Michael Palin – and introducing Wanda, the alien fish-woman:

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4f/A_Fish_Called_Wanda_DVD.jpg)

I’d assumed this artwork was a DVD cover, but apparently not – this is the original US poster.

there is one good thing about it- the names are in the right fucking places, for a change.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on July 27, 2019, 01:00:03 PM
They managed to find a cast where the pecking order was perfect. Rare.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Panbaams on July 28, 2019, 05:38:52 PM
Although according to Michael Palin’s diaries, all four were paid the same fee.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Phoenix Lazarus on July 28, 2019, 07:36:26 PM
That one of Ricky Gervais leaping into the air in profile, with his head turned towards the viewer, with a huge grin on his face.  I can't recall the film title, but it just looks a bit daft.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: FerriswheelBueller on July 28, 2019, 08:01:08 PM
That one of Ricky Gervais leaping into the air in profile, with his head turned towards the viewer, with a huge grin on his face.  I can't recall the film title, but it just looks a bit daft.

A publicity photo of Ricky Gervais looking like a wally? Say it ain’t so!
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: DukeDeMondo on July 28, 2019, 08:11:31 PM
That one of Ricky Gervais leaping into the air in profile, with his head turned towards the viewer, with a huge grin on his face.  I can't recall the film title, but it just looks a bit daft.

That was for The Invention Of Lying.

(http://br.web.img2.acsta.net/medias/nmedia/18/96/56/42/20475682.jpg)

Load of absolute fucking garbage. The film, I mean. Load of absolute fucking garbage. Smug, obnoxious horseshit from one rotten end of it right to the other.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: mothman on July 28, 2019, 08:14:58 PM
It'd make a good double bill with Yesterday. I say "good," but it wouldn't be; you know what I mean.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bazooka on July 29, 2019, 05:41:07 AM
That was for The Invention Of Lying.

(http://br.web.img2.acsta.net/medias/nmedia/18/96/56/42/20475682.jpg)

Load of absolute fucking garbage. The film, I mean. Load of absolute fucking garbage. Smug, obnoxious horseshit from one rotten end of it right to the other.

If you didn't know beforehand, the poster alludes heavily to the title being 'Tell The Truth'.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 29, 2019, 09:01:59 AM
I truly believe that Ricky was happy in 2009.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Old Gold Tooth on July 29, 2019, 02:42:56 PM
That was for The Invention Of Lying.

(http://br.web.img2.acsta.net/medias/nmedia/18/96/56/42/20475682.jpg)

Load of absolute fucking garbage. The film, I mean. Load of absolute fucking garbage. Smug, obnoxious horseshit from one rotten end of it right to the other.

Really does look like one of those fake film posters with such a ludicrously shit one-note concept that they're good for a cutaway joke in something like 30 Rock or Arrested Development, because it's immediately obvious how shit a film it would be if it was real.

I also sat through this and it was truly awful. Half-baked ideas, unfunny and weirdly nasty. If it was made in 2019 it would be a straight-to-Netflix exclusive that Ricky would claim is exactly the way he wanted it to be released.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on July 30, 2019, 02:22:31 PM
Really does look like one of those fake film posters with such a ludicrously shit one-note concept that they're good for a cutaway joke in something like 30 Rock or Arrested Development, because it's immediately obvious how shit a film it would be if it was real.

I felt the same about this. I thought it was a prop from Arrested Development when I first saw it.

(https://media.senscritique.com/media/000016806324/source_big/Top_Cops.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Enrico Palazzo on July 30, 2019, 03:05:12 PM
(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BZjQ3YWUwMjItMzJkYy00ZTc4LTk2ZmEtMGJkMmYwMjYwNTdiXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjg3MDMxNzU@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,675,1000_AL_.jpg)
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: BlodwynPig on July 30, 2019, 06:11:13 PM
Jesus tells Jamie Theakston to do “bad things”?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on July 30, 2019, 11:47:53 PM
Good to see the burning house from Lost Highway is still getting work.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Bazooka on August 02, 2019, 10:03:39 AM
I felt the same about this. I thought it was a prop from Arrested Development when I first saw it.

(https://media.senscritique.com/media/000016806324/source_big/Top_Cops.jpg)

Its impossible to tell if they are holding the badges, or they have fucked up tits that resemble fingertips, and the police badge is clinched in the cleavage.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: icehaven on August 02, 2019, 11:17:47 AM
Who are Bruce Tracy and Willis Morgan?
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Old Gold Tooth on August 02, 2019, 11:22:44 AM
"Don't forget to rock out with your glock out on 26th February."

Christ life is futile.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: bgmnts on August 02, 2019, 11:24:02 AM
Also - "subversive"?

Joke will be a good guy FROM A CERTAIN POINT OF VIEW.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Dex Sawash on August 02, 2019, 11:48:28 AM
"Don't forget to rock out with your glock out on 26th February."

Christ life is futile.

That is National Open-Carry day over here though
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Mister Six on August 02, 2019, 03:43:52 PM
America, where you can open-carry guns but not bottles of beer.
Title: Re: Inept film posters
Post by: Noddy Tomkey on August 03, 2019, 04:01:39 AM
I felt the same about this. I thought it was a prop from Arrested Development when I first saw it.

(https://media.senscritique.com/media/000016806324/source_big/Top_Cops.jpg)

Are they the same colour now?