Cook'd and Bomb'd

Forums => Deeper Into Movies => Topic started by: BritishHobo on November 25, 2018, 12:55:30 PM

Title: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: BritishHobo on November 25, 2018, 12:55:30 PM
I'm about to go in and see the fourth Nativity film. A fat, bearded little dwarf-man, by myself. I've had a proper family crisis this week and I'm not in the mood. I can't even think about Christmas. It's not even got Marc Wootton in. There is no reason for me to do this.

What are you watching? Anything new? Netflix just put up a Santa Claus family that looks pretty generic but apparently has a genuinely good and very sexy turn from Kurt Russell as yer man. Not watched it.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on November 25, 2018, 12:56:50 PM
I think the cinema is showing It's a Wonderful Life, might go and see that.

Comfort and Joy?
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Replies From View on November 25, 2018, 02:29:17 PM
I'll be watching Doctor Who which is reliably on every Christmas Day

:(
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: chveik on November 25, 2018, 03:02:43 PM
The Act of Killing
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: mothman on November 25, 2018, 03:16:28 PM
I'll be watching Doctor Who which is reliably on every Christmas Day

:(

Now I'm upset too.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Shit Good Nose on November 25, 2018, 03:26:22 PM
Christmas Vacation will get its annual airing in the Nose household.

Watched a bit of Christmas Chronicles.  Kurt's good value as always, but it is otherwise a shit kids christmas film.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: mothman on November 25, 2018, 03:38:17 PM
I tried to watch Elf last Christmas. Gave up after about half an hour. Don't see why it's so revered.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Replies From View on November 25, 2018, 03:41:57 PM
I might just sit around watching loads of old BBC, ITV and C4 Christmas logos from the 80s and 90s.

(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/I89WwKHSYX4/hqdefault.jpg)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zu0F4otQdiw

If it ain't broke, why fix it.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Shit Good Nose on November 25, 2018, 03:42:46 PM
I tried to watch Elf last Christmas. Gave up after about half an hour. Don't see why it's so revered.

Agreed (although I have seen the whole film), but then I loathe Will Ferrell so I'm already starting from a point of negativity.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Replies From View on November 25, 2018, 04:14:18 PM
A few weeks ago I had to sit through Santa Claws (2014), a children's film about cats taking on the role of Santa, which may be one of the worst films I have ever seen.  Here's the trailer:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGL4cj4gci8

There were moments where the director had obviously taken some decisions that were not then retrospectively applied to updates in the script.  So for example you see 19 seconds into the trailer, when the cats cause a load of mugs to be smashed on the kitchen floor?  Well I can only assume the script originally called for the cats to leave mud everywhere, as the mother enters the kitchen, sees the smashed mugs and remarks that she'll have to get the bleach and mop out (it's one of the reasons the cats are put up for adoption later).

And at 50 seconds into the trailer, you see Santa's sleigh flying really low over one of the gardens (because the cats are steering it); in the film it's a bit of a running joke that it keeps knocking over the medium-sized fibreglass Santa that just thuds onto the grass.  Except the character living in that house - the Derke of this film - goes "OH NOOO NO NO NO" when it happens, and behaves as if it's going to be such a pain in the arse to sort out.  Clearly the script was calling for this to be a complicated set-up that needed fixing each time, but the director couldn't be bothered with that so it's just a fibreglass Santa lying on the grass.  At one point in the film the plot is moved forwards by Derke needing to get superglue from his next door neighbour to fix his Santa display, even though it obviously doesn't need superglue.  And the woman next door's first reaction is "WHY MUST YOU DO IT TONIGHT" and because he is a Derke he doesn't even say "BECAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE AND I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE IT UNTIL THE SHOPS OPEN AFTER CHRISTMAS"; instead he stammers something about wanting Santa to see his brilliant display of three fibreglass Santas on his lawn.

Oh and it was made in 2014, but because of the rubbish CGI on the cats' mouths I assumed it was late 90s or something.


Anyway so that's a Christmas film you might want to watch, I dunno.  Hope that helps.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Bad Ambassador on November 26, 2018, 11:36:46 AM
A reminder that Netflix's holdings of Only Fools and Horses consist of Series Three and Four and a near-complete run of the Christmas specials, including the two-part Miami Twice that's reedited on DVD.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: CaledonianGonzo on December 01, 2018, 04:06:51 PM
Just out of Anna and the Apocalypse.

It's fine....obviously made on tuppence but the songs are pretty solid and the cast give it a decent stab.  Though the decision to set it in a generic transatlantic anytown robbed it of any real sense of place which I'd been hoping would give it a really unique identity.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: mojo filters on December 01, 2018, 04:50:12 PM
Are there really any decent modern Christmas movies?

It's A Wonderful Life seems to be enough quite frankly - well written, plotted, directed etc, plus big bonus for Jimmy Stewart's performance. It manages that rare feat of balancing syrupy sentiment with honest, quality and engaging storytelling.

I vaguely recall hearing someone claim Die Hard was a good Christmas movie, but I had neither the energy nor the gumption to correct such a preposterous notion.

Maybe the question should be: do we need to watch decent (or even any) movies about Christmas during the festive season?

Personally I enjoy the opportunity to take advantage of a house full of hostages, and slip on a DVD of something I think people should like.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: CaledonianGonzo on December 01, 2018, 05:40:49 PM
The year I put on Andrei Rublev instead of The Muppet Christmas Carol was everyone's favourite Xmas.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: the ouch cube on December 01, 2018, 05:59:56 PM
I usually watch Batman Returns on the 22nd, Bad Santa on the 23rd, and The Day Of The Beast on the 24th.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Glebe on December 01, 2018, 07:15:15 PM
[tag]Bruce Willis dives out of thread in a dirty vest.[/tag]
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on December 02, 2018, 12:51:06 AM
Just out of Anna and the Apocalypse.

It's fine....obviously made on tuppence but the songs are pretty solid and the cast give it a decent stab.  Though the decision to set it in a generic transatlantic anytown robbed it of any real sense of place which I'd been hoping would give it a really unique identity.

That's a shame, it's been hyped up quite a lot on various sites and as I love musicals I was really looking forward to it, but will probably wait for it to come out on dvd now.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: CaledonianGonzo on December 02, 2018, 07:05:25 AM
It has been a wee bit overhyped, I reckon.  It's obviously indebted to Shaun of the Dead, but just isn't punching at the same level.  The musical elements are the best bits, but the Xmas elements feel a bit grafted on, like they were added to the 3rd or 4th draft of the script in order to give it another selling point.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: DolphinFace on December 02, 2018, 11:50:28 PM
What's that Christmas film with Harry Dean Stanton playing an angel called Gideon? I wanna watch that again.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: popcorn on December 03, 2018, 07:04:12 PM
DO YOU KNOW WHAT ACTUALLY MY FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS FILM IS?

DIE HARD.

THAT'S RIGHT - DIE HARD. YOU MIGHT BE A BIT SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT I CONSIDER IT A CHRISTMAS FILM.

BUT THAT'S JUST ONE OF THE INTERESTING AND SURPRISING OPINIONS I HAVE.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: DolphinFace on December 03, 2018, 07:55:35 PM
Has anyone watched a film on the dedicated Christmas film channel on Freeview? They're all unremittingly bad. Like a film churned out by a sixth former bad. Terrible camera work, rubbish acting and woeful storylines (like a businessman wanting to chop a nun's tree down).

I can take comfort in a Christmas film, even miracle on 34th Street or Mrs Claus but this channel offers nothing. Which is a shame.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on December 03, 2018, 07:57:32 PM
What's that Christmas film with Harry Dean Stanton playing an angel called Gideon? I wanna watch that again.

One Magic Christmas.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Cuellar on December 03, 2018, 08:35:23 PM
Wake in Fright.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: studpuppet on December 03, 2018, 10:21:12 PM
I still think Planes, Trains & Automobiles is a Christmas film, even though it's a Thanksgiving film. It snows, there's turkey - what more do you want?

Not a film but I sit my kids down in front of The Box Of Delights in the six nights before Christmas, so the last part is on Christmas Eve.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: worldsgreatestsinner on December 03, 2018, 10:43:04 PM
Cash on Demand is my favourite Christmas film. A gritty little Hammer crime drama with Peter Cushing as the manager of a bank forced to help with a robbery just before Christmas. It's shown up on Talking Pictures a few times recently and definitely worth catching.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Twed on December 04, 2018, 01:47:00 AM
A few weeks ago I had to sit through Santa Claws (2014), a children's film about cats taking on the role of Santa, which may be one of the worst films I have ever seen.  Here's the trailer:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGL4cj4gci8
Travel Man, if it's bothering anybody else.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: magval on December 04, 2018, 09:11:24 AM
Cash on Demand is my favourite Christmas film. A gritty little Hammer crime drama with Peter Cushing as the manager of a bank forced to help with a robbery just before Christmas. It's shown up on Talking Pictures a few times recently and definitely worth catching.

Out on Blu-ray this year too.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Replies From View on December 05, 2018, 07:43:44 AM
Die Hard 2: Die Harder was originally made as a Christmas film but - yes you guessed it - test audiences hated it so much that all the references to Christmas were excised by sundown that very day.  All the Christmas decorations etc were dumped onto the set of Home Alone 2, which was never planned as a Christmas film; John Hughes didn’t have enough time to remove it, and the rest is history, as they say.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Jerzy Bondov on December 05, 2018, 09:59:13 AM
The Christmas Chronicles with Kurt Russell as Father Christmas is alright. Kurt Russell as Father Christmas spends quite a lot of it in the gaol but he is quite a sexy Santa. Probably the sexiest ever? Can you name a sexier movie Santa?

Not Tim Allen certainly. The Santa Clause is one of my favourite body horror movies. He shaves his beard, it grows right back. In terror he exclaims, 'I'm in biiiig trouble, mm-hmm'. His massive fake looking wobbly belly. He feasts on chocolate pudding to sate his alien hunger. Very frightening scenes.

Paul Giamatti in Fred Claus? Not sexy. Jim Broadbent in Get Santa? Not sexy. Jim Broadbent in Arthur Christmas? Not sexy. Yep, Kurt is the sexiest movie Santa of all time. 3/5

______ line to indicate I want to talk about something else ______

The other night I watched Office Christmas Party; it's fucking shit. WHY do I keep watching these SHITE American comedies about people taking drugs with NO JOKES. Complete bollocks. Oh Kate McKinnon steals every scene, she's a delight - WRONG. Jason Bateman, the SAME in EVERYTHING. Jennifer Aniston, just NOTHING.

HA HA DRUGS.

HA HA SEX.

HA HA RAP MUSIC.

Comedy is dead.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Replies From View on December 05, 2018, 05:36:10 PM
Speaking of drugs and rap, add an E and you get HAHA RAPE.


Good, isn't it.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: mothman on December 05, 2018, 07:16:01 PM
Can you name a sexier movie Santa?

Billy Bob Thornton.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on December 05, 2018, 07:25:02 PM
Die Hard 2: Die Harder was originally made as a Christmas film but - yes you guessed it - test audiences hated it so much that all the references to Christmas were excised by sundown that very day.  All the Christmas decorations etc were dumped onto the set of Home Alone 2, which was never planned as a Christmas film; John Hughes didn’t have enough time to remove it, and the rest is history, as they say.

What? Die Hard 2 is set on Christmas Eve, he says 'merry christmas' when his car gets towed.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Replies From View on December 05, 2018, 08:17:00 PM
What? Die Hard 2 is set on Christmas Eve, he says 'merry christmas' when his car gets towed.

They just couldn’t remove that one bit from the film, unfortunately (they couldn’t cut the scene entirely as it is crucial to the plot, and they tried to dub over the dialogue but somehow couldn’t get all the original sound off).  The director is still to this day very cross about it.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: bgmnts on December 05, 2018, 08:39:30 PM
As always:

Morning - Die Hard

Afternoon - Muppet Christmas Carol

Evening - It's a Wonderful Life
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Cuntbeaks on December 05, 2018, 11:17:31 PM
Snowtown

Salo - 120 Days of Santa

Texas Chainsaw Nativity

Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: wooders1978 on December 06, 2018, 01:12:13 PM
Did Gremlins at the weekend

I want another one but can’t be arsed with bad Santa or Elf and fuck off with die hard is a Christmas movie (no offence)

Might give that little russell one a bash
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Huxleys Babkins on December 06, 2018, 04:00:39 PM
Has anyone watched a film on the dedicated Christmas film channel on Freeview? They're all unremittingly bad. Like a film churned out by a sixth former bad. Terrible camera work, rubbish acting and woeful storylines (like a businessman wanting to chop a nun's tree down).

I can take comfort in a Christmas film, even miracle on 34th Street or Mrs Claus but this channel offers nothing. Which is a shame.

My other half is addicted to it. The movies are awful. Rich, conceited fucks screw over other rich, conceited fucks and everything is resolved, usually via the presence of an elderly or a child or a dog or actual Santa, just in time for Christmas snogging.

I can get through them because the actors are fascinating. They've usually been cast because they have a passing resemblance to one or more more famous actors depending on the angle you view them from. Last weekend there was one on about a woman who wanted a specific tree she found in someone's front garden but the people wouldn't give her the tree because it was dead mum's tree but eventually everyone falls in love and they've pulled up dead mum's tree and sent it to fucking Boston or some shit.

Anyway, the important thing is that the woman looked like a hybrid of Reese Witherspoon, Julia Roberts and Blake Lively, whilst the main man one looked like David Boreanaz, Chris Jericho and Chris Evans. I think. Unless I'm confusing him with the one about the actor who moves in on some random woman's ranch over Christmas to learn how to ride a horse 'cos he's in a film about horses and knows so little about horses and is arrogant Hollywood man that he tries to feed one a cookie! I ask you!
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on December 06, 2018, 04:10:15 PM
Does it have Christmas Story on it? I want to ere the leg lamp.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Huxleys Babkins on December 06, 2018, 04:22:41 PM
As far as I could see, it was all wall-to-wall TV movies made in the last 15 years.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Gulftastic on December 06, 2018, 05:19:45 PM
Just done 'It's A Wonderful Life' for the first time in about a decade. Damn, it's good stuff. Jimmy Stewart is bloody terrific.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Spoon of Ploff on December 06, 2018, 05:32:45 PM
Gonna watch Satoshi Kon's Tokyo Godfathers in the Dr Who shaped hole during the Christmas day TV schedule and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it.

(http://www.gstatic.com/tv/thumb/v22vodart/14303315/p14303315_v_v8_aa.jpg)
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Small Man Big Horse on December 06, 2018, 06:47:06 PM
Gonna watch Satoshi Kon's Tokyo Godfathers in the Dr Who shaped hole during the Christmas day TV schedule and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it.

(http://www.gstatic.com/tv/thumb/v22vodart/14303315/p14303315_v_v8_aa.jpg)

I might join you, I've watched Perfect Blue and Paprika and enjoyed both and keep meaning to check out the rest of his work. I'll even bring a half eaten tin of quality streets if that helps sweeten the deal.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: the ouch cube on December 06, 2018, 06:49:24 PM
That Finnish one about the evil origins of Santa Claus
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: BritishHobo on December 06, 2018, 07:27:10 PM
I walked out of Nativity 4 because, to be fair, it had dialled things back a lot to more believable levels, and was doing something really lovely and great with a Syrian refugee character. I'm in agreement with Mark Kermode that it's hollow and pointless to be a grown man intentionally sneering at a kid's film that's just trying to do something nice. All the best to it.

Nativity 3 is still absolute toss though.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: mothman on December 06, 2018, 07:27:40 PM
That Finnish one about the evil origins of Santa Claus

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale I think it was called. A good suggestion.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Huxleys Babkins on December 07, 2018, 10:40:36 AM
Nativity 3 is still absolute toss though.

But it has one of the best bits of tie-in merchandising that I've ever seen. (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Falcon-Luxe-Nativity-Wheres-Donkey/dp/B00OQG38IA/ref=sr_1_15?ie=UTF8&qid=1544179045&sr=8-15&keywords=nativity+jigsaw)

FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: SteveDave on December 07, 2018, 11:47:37 AM
I walked out of Nativity 4 because, to be fair, it had dialled things back a lot to more believable levels, and was doing something really lovely and great with a Syrian refugee character. I'm in agreement with Mark Kermode that it's hollow and pointless to be a grown man intentionally sneering at a kid's film that's just trying to do something nice. All the best to it.

Nativity 3 is still absolute toss though.

Are you going to see the LIVE stage show starring Danny Dyer, Dani Dyer and Jo Brand?
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Replies From View on December 07, 2018, 04:31:46 PM
Has anyone here ever tried the Home Alone sequels after the second one?  They exist in a strange reality.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Gulftastic on December 07, 2018, 05:13:14 PM
Weirdly, after my viewing of 'It's A Wonderful Life' yesterday, I noticed today that TCM are showing it in colourised form. I'll sitck to the B&W version, thanks.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: BritishHobo on December 07, 2018, 10:57:37 PM
Has anyone here ever tried the Home Alone sequels after the second one?  They exist in a strange reality.

Home Alone 3 was my first exposure to the franchise, when my brother got it on VHS for Christmas, so I'll always have a soft spot for it. Home Alone 4 is absolute gash though. After going completely standalone with the third film, they inexplicably return to the characters from the first two, but write and cast them as if they're completely different. Kevin bears no fucking resemblance to the Culkin character, and French Stewart's gurning performance as Daniel Stern is mad. It hurts my head to think that they're supposed to be the same characters.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: popcorn on December 07, 2018, 11:00:42 PM
(http://s2.thcdn.com/productimg/0/600/600/67/10842067-1380630040-948916.jpg)
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: McChesney Duntz on December 07, 2018, 11:35:52 PM
Isn't pretty much every Shane Black-scripted movie technically a Christmas film?

Eh?

Scrooged, of course - reeks a bit of compromise and Richard Donner isn't really the man for the job (though it looks tremendous - all those velvety blacks, that whole late-eighties New York vibe, and some pretty swell visual effects for '88), but man, I do adore it so. Neat little conversation about it here: https://www.vulture.com/2018/12/carol-kane-and-karen-allen-scrooged-interview.html
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on December 07, 2018, 11:48:23 PM
Scrooged is great. It's got him from the New York Dolls in, for a start.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: bgmnts on December 08, 2018, 04:01:36 PM
Did Gremlins at the weekend

I want another one but can’t be arsed with bad Santa or Elf and fuck off with die hard is a Christmas movie (no offence)

Might give that little russell one a bash

Explain.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Replies From View on December 08, 2018, 08:59:58 PM
I wonder if anyone in the world ranks 'Christmas with the Kranks' as their favourite ever film.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Jerzy Bondov on December 10, 2018, 08:23:20 PM
Haha. Christmas with the Kranks is incredible. Jamie Lee Curtis's performance is so weird it's like the character has truly severe learning difficulties, which makes Tim Allen's character (her husband) seem like he's taking advantage of her in a very despicable way.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Avril Lavigne on December 11, 2018, 11:47:58 AM
Kevin bears no fucking resemblance to the Culkin character, and French Stewart's gurning performance as Daniel Stern is mad. It hurts my head to think that they're supposed to be the same characters.

Equally baffling is the fact that French Stewart is supposed to be Marv but is dressed like Harry.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: wooders1978 on December 11, 2018, 02:35:46 PM
Explain.
Though it is technically set at Christmas - it’s only really mentioned at the start and to say there is a Christmassy feel to the movie is somewhat churlish
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: bgmnts on December 11, 2018, 05:54:27 PM
Though it is technically set at Christmas - it’s only really mentioned at the start and to say there is a Christmassy feel to the movie is somewhat churlish

There are lots of Christmas references, it starts with a Christmas song and ends with a Christmas song.

There is more than enough there for me to consider it a Christmas film, albeit an action one.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Replies From View on December 11, 2018, 07:18:03 PM
How many elves are there in Die Hard please?
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: bgmnts on December 11, 2018, 07:28:35 PM
How many elves are there in Die Hard please?

The same amount as Home Alone I think.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Replies From View on December 11, 2018, 07:33:52 PM
The same amount as Home Alone I think.

Eight?
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Jerzy Bondov on December 11, 2018, 08:44:24 PM
Ah, elves. What's the least appealing depiction of elves in a Christmas movie? Santa Claus The Movie goes with little old men (and Dud), Santa Clause goes with bad smug child actors (and Krumholtz). But the worst is easily the Polar Express for my money. Horrible, ugly creatures with annoying voices. Now, one of them is modelled on Steven Tyler so fair enough but what's the excuse for the others? And they sing a slowed down version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town which should be in a horror film.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: BritishHobo on December 11, 2018, 08:50:05 PM
I just watched the film Elf, which has many elves in. I realised this year for the first time that I think they realised fifteen minutes before the end that the film had no climax, which is why just when they run out of plot, Santa Claus crashes right next to where the elf is and goes 'shit, no-one believes in Christmas anymore!', which has not in any way been demonstrated previously anywhere in this film, and this now becomes something for the elf and his friends to solve. It's a better film when it's just Will Ferrell being a fish out of water.

Peter Dinklage does a good turn in it, but I'm always bummed out that the punchline of his scene is 'ha ha Will Ferrell thinks Dinklage is an elf because he is short, and keeps saying it and keeps saying that he is an elf'.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Ballad of Ballard Berkley on December 19, 2018, 04:50:29 AM
I tried to watch Elf last Christmas. Gave up after about half an hour. Don't see why it's so revered.

Me neither, it's so boring and bland. The same goes for National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, which I recently tried to watch for the first time. What a leaden, unfunny film, it's terrible
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Mister Six on December 23, 2018, 06:03:42 AM
I just watched the film Elf, which has many elves in. I realised this year for the first time that I think they realised fifteen minutes before the end that the film had no climax, which is why just when they run out of plot, Santa Claus crashes right next to where the elf is and goes 'shit, no-one believes in Christmas anymore!', which has not in any way been demonstrated previously anywhere in this film, and this now becomes something for the elf and his friends to solve. It's a better film when it's just Will Ferrell being a fish out of water.

Yeah, it's weird, because the film looks like it's heading towards a totally different, and actually earned ending. Towards the end the stakes and issues are clear: Buddy's sad because he's been rejected by the father he travelled to New York to meet; the dad is upset because he's about to lose his job because Buddy interrupted the pitch meeting for the new kids' book; the family are tired of the dad because he pretty much neglects them.

So you'd expect the dad, despairing, to go back home, where he's comforted by his wife and son, and bonds with them. Realising the importance of family and Christmas and yadda yadda, he goes out and finds Buddy to apologise to him. He finally humours Buddy by letting him talk about his life, and while he still thinks his son is a lunatic, he realises this is the story that could save his job!

But oh no, the finished story will need to be on the guy's table in just a couple of hours!

So Buddy calls in some favours with Santa and a squad of elves arrive to draw the whole thing up in double-quick time. Buddy's proven not to be a lunatic, dad saves his job (but promises to spend more time with his kids), Zooey Deschanel... I dunno, plods about with her stupid, dull, joke-killing voice and pops out a baby. Happy ending!

Then some studio exec says WHAT'S THIS SHIT WHERES SANNA CLAUSE WHERE'S THE REINDEER, YA FUCKIN' JAMOKE, WHERE'S THE BIT WHERE THEY SAVE CHRISTMAS THIS ISN'T A HALLMARK CHANNEL MOVIE YOU DUMB FUCK CHANGE IT NOW and the new, shitty ending with random evil park rangers is bolted on instead, while the dad saves his job by, er, stealing Peter Dinklage's notebook? Very good message for the kids.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: CaledonianGonzo on December 23, 2018, 08:28:01 AM
Me neither, it's so boring and bland. The same goes for National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, which I recently tried to watch for the first time. What a leaden, unfunny film, it's terrible

You're not warmed by the seasonal message of a man wanting to build a swimming pool so that he can ogle a lady that he'd recently sexually harassed?
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: CaledonianGonzo on December 23, 2018, 08:30:12 AM
Where's the Mary Poppins Returns thread then you dweebs?

It may not be a Xmas movie but it's still the one to see this Xmas  No cockle will go unwarmed.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on December 23, 2018, 10:16:26 AM
How many elves are there in Die Hard please?

How many elves are there in It's a Wonderful Life?

Doesn't work does it?
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: CaledonianGonzo on December 23, 2018, 10:41:57 AM
There's a few fairies.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: kalowski on December 23, 2018, 11:17:12 AM
I tried to watch Elf last Christmas. Gave up after about half an hour. Don't see why it's so revered.
Agreed. Just mediocre.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Sebastian Cobb on December 23, 2018, 11:49:58 AM
There's a few fairies.

Not the same thing, fairies are all year round.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: the ouch cube on December 23, 2018, 03:14:43 PM
Eastern Promises
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: grassbath on December 23, 2018, 05:13:00 PM
Yeah, it's weird, because the film looks like it's heading towards a totally different, and actually earned ending. Towards the end the stakes and issues are clear: Buddy's sad because he's been rejected by the father he travelled to New York to meet; the dad is upset because he's about to lose his job because Buddy interrupted the pitch meeting for the new kids' book; the family are tired of the dad because he pretty much neglects them.

So you'd expect the dad, despairing, to go back home, where he's comforted by his wife and son, and bonds with them. Realising the importance of family and Christmas and yadda yadda, he goes out and finds Buddy to apologise to him. He finally humours Buddy by letting him talk about his life, and while he still thinks his son is a lunatic, he realises this is the story that could save his job!

But oh no, the finished story will need to be on the guy's table in just a couple of hours!

So Buddy calls in some favours with Santa and a squad of elves arrive to draw the whole thing up in double-quick time. Buddy's proven not to be a lunatic, dad saves his job (but promises to spend more time with his kids), Zooey Deschanel... I dunno, plods about with her stupid, dull, joke-killing voice and pops out a baby. Happy ending!

Then some studio exec says WHAT'S THIS SHIT WHERES SANNA CLAUSE WHERE'S THE REINDEER, YA FUCKIN' JAMOKE, WHERE'S THE BIT WHERE THEY SAVE CHRISTMAS THIS ISN'T A HALLMARK CHANNEL MOVIE YOU DUMB FUCK CHANGE IT NOW and the new, shitty ending with random evil park rangers is bolted on instead, while the dad saves his job by, er, stealing Peter Dinklage's notebook? Very good message for the kids.

I came to this thread to post this exact thing, having just watched Elf for the first time. Around the point early in the film where James Caan's boss tells him 'look mate, we need an unprecedented amount of children's books ready for Christmas Eve or you're toast,' I would have genuinely bet money on a climax involving an elf-powered book production line. And it would have made a hell of a lot more sense.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Shit Good Nose on December 23, 2018, 06:26:22 PM
Me neither, it's so boring and bland. The same goes for National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, which I recently tried to watch for the first time. What a leaden, unfunny film, it's terrible

Out of my house...go on - out!  And don't come back.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: fucking ponderous on December 24, 2018, 07:36:22 PM

Scrooged, of course - reeks a bit of compromise and Richard Donner isn't really the man for the job (though it looks tremendous - all those velvety blacks, that whole late-eighties New York vibe, and some pretty swell visual effects for '88), but man, I do adore it so. Neat little conversation about it here: https://www.vulture.com/2018/12/carol-kane-and-karen-allen-scrooged-interview.html

I watched this last night for the first time since I was a child, and it is pretty great. It's a complete mess of course, and I don't buy Murray's turn to benevolence towards the end at all- he hits the same acting notes throughout the entire thing, there's no clear development for his character. Plus, I agree with Ebert's assessment that the constant quipping from Murray is at odds with the darker tone of the rest of the film, and his big speech at the end does seem a bit like a mental breakdown. Aside from that, it's a lot of fun. The visuals are great, perhaps a little over the top, but I love garish, grotesque 80's stuff. Despite what I said early, Murray is still charming and the cast is pretty amazing- David Johansen, Bobcat Goldathwait, Carol Kane, Alfre Woodard, and guy from Gremlins 2 who reminds me of John Linnell are all very good. Did almost cry a few times. And though Michael O'Donoghue said his original script was better, there's clearly a lot of stuff in the finished film that hasn't been changed much at all- the entire opening sequence with the violent Christmas programming is so purely him, it's basically a dramatized National Lampoon comic.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: grassbath on December 25, 2018, 08:22:48 PM
Just coming into this thread to assert that despite being a short film and therefore not a proper film, The Snowman is indisputably the best Christmas film.

NOT the version with David Bowie at the beginning pretending that he was the boy handling a scarf in a musty attic. He was not the boy.

The version that opens with a melancholy live-action snow scene and a distant trudging man and Raymond Briggs' clinically depressed V.O. about the day he wrote the Snowman, which melts into animation as the piano comes in.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: popcorn on December 25, 2018, 11:12:43 PM
I am yet another person who just watched Elf for the first time and came here to complain about the bizarre third act. I see that's been dealt with. Good work, everyone.

I really liked the "world's best coffee" joke, though.

Just coming into this thread to assert that despite being a short film and therefore not a proper film, The Snowman is indisputably the best Christmas film.

Took my young cousins to see a screening of that with a live orchestra (and live child singing the song). I've always found the film mesmerising but the final moment in the credits, when the strings swell into a major chord (https://youtu.be/sv-hizR6dUk?t=92), is so cathartic I burst into tears.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: mothman on December 29, 2018, 05:22:08 PM
We just went to see the new The Grinch. Jesus.

It wasn’t my choice - youngest child has been asking for weeks. The theatre was quite full, too.

But, fuck me it was awful. Great animation - the snow really looked and acted like snow - and production design, but the script was awful. They disposed of all but maybe two lines of the original text, replacing it with some awful new rhyming narration by - that great Shakespearean orator - Pharrell Williams, I kid you not. The basic storyline was retained but expanded with subplots that made the Carrey version look like Citizen fucking Kane by comparison.

It’s a toss-up who does a worse American accent, Daniel Craig or Benedict Cumberbatch. The latter makes a good pitch at claiming the prize by voicing the Grinch in this film.

I fell asleep - first time ever in a cinema. So did TeenMoth, her head on my shoulder, my head on hers. The Mothlet, however, loved it.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Shit Good Nose on December 29, 2018, 05:41:17 PM
We just went to see the new The Grinch. Jesus.

It wasn’t my choice - youngest child has been asking for weeks. The theatre was quite full, too.

But, fuck me it was awful. Great animation - the snow really looked and acted like snow - and production design, but the script was awful. They disposed of all but maybe two lines of the original text, replacing it with some awful new rhyming narration by - that great Shakespearean orator - Pharrell Williams, I kid you not. The basic storyline was retained but expanded with subplots that made the Carrey version look like Citizen fucking Kane by comparison.

It’s a toss-up who does a worse American accent, Daniel Craig or Benedict Cumberbatch. The latter makes a good pitch at claiming the prize by voicing the Grinch in this film.

I fell asleep - first time ever in a cinema. So did TeenMoth, her head on my shoulder, my head on hers. The Mothlet, however, loved it.

Agree, however I thought it was infinitely better than the Carrey one, which still ranks among the worst christmas films I've ever seen.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: mothman on December 29, 2018, 05:55:05 PM
Admit I’m giving the Carrey version a bit of a pass here, because at least it retained the original text. I didn’t like it either - I thought it was an utterly horrible-looking film, for one thing. The Whos’ makeup made them look like the mutated inbred survivors of a nuclear holocaust. Only managed to sit through it at all (coincidentally, this Christmas, too - the first time I’ve seen it) by head-canoning that as the secret backstory.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: rjd2 on December 29, 2018, 10:45:21 PM
Christmas is winding down, but Tangerine is a great Xmas film about trans sex workers and Ziggy from the wire thrown in.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on January 03, 2019, 06:46:38 PM
I saw Gremlins in its entirety for the first time this Christmas. It was a bit of a let down.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: alan nagsworth on January 05, 2019, 02:13:59 PM
I saw Gremlins in its entirety for the first time this Christmas. It was a bit of a let down.

It's a bit of a slow burner, don't you think? I still really like it but I feel like it's quite a while before it all kicks off. The sequel is loads better.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on January 05, 2019, 02:41:35 PM
Slow burn I've got no problem with. Aliens takes about 45 minutes before the titular creatures show up and that totally rules (and shits on Alien 3). The build up to the Gremlins appearance didn't really warrant it, though. Worse still, when their rampage did start, it was a bit half arsed.
Also, I don't think I've ever hated a character more than I hate Mr Peltzer. Useless old wanker, ruining his family to flog his crappy inventions. He should at least be played as a wide eyed dreamer, but the actor seemed to think he was playing a hardboiled detective. Hate.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Shit Good Nose on January 05, 2019, 02:48:28 PM
Slow burn I've got no problem with. Aliens takes about 45 minutes before the titular creatures show up and that totally rules (and is massively shit in comparison to Alien 3). The build up to the Gremlins appearance didn't really warrant it, though. Worse still, when their rampage did start, it was a bit half arsed.
Also, I don't think I've ever hated a character more than I hate Mr Peltzer. Useless old wanker, ruining his family to flog his crappy inventions. He should at least be played as a wide eyed dreamer, but the actor seemed to think he was playing a hardboiled detective. Hate.

Fixed.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: alan nagsworth on January 05, 2019, 03:17:57 PM
Ah if it's a proper rampage you want then deffo watch the sequel. Loads of rampage. Gang rape, shit fetishising, the lot.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on January 06, 2019, 05:05:36 PM
Fixed.
I'll fix you!

I notice you didn't disagree with anything I said about Gremlins though.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Shit Good Nose on January 06, 2019, 05:29:06 PM
Actually I do disagree RE Gremlins - having seen it very recently, I still love it - however, I'll quickly acknowledge 2 is heaps more fun.  But then 2 is ostensibly a parody of the quite dark and nasty first film.

I just thought that reminding you Alien 3 is infinitely better than Aliens was a more pressing matter.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on January 06, 2019, 05:32:37 PM
Actually I do disagree RE Gremlins - having seen it very recently, I still love it - however, I'll quickly acknowledge 2 is heaps more fun.  But then 2 is ostensibly a parody of the quite dark and nasty first film.

I just thought that reminding you that I'm always wrong and a big botty was a more pressing matter.
Fixed.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Shit Good Nose on January 06, 2019, 05:37:21 PM
Why I oughtta... (shakes fist)
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: Gulftastic on January 06, 2019, 05:57:07 PM
Christmas is winding down, but Tangerine is a great Xmas film about trans sex workers and Ziggy from the wire thrown in.

I'm assuming not the 1979 film of the same name, which was the first proper porn I ever saw. It was my main spank bank go-to for many years.
Title: Re: Christmas Films - 2018 Edition
Post by: mothman on January 06, 2019, 06:07:00 PM
Joe Dante might have had a more productive/rewarding career if he'd given a damn at all about any cinema post-1960: discuss.

OK, I'm being a bit facetious here. But Christ, it's wearing. It feels like literally every one of his films has a TV in the background of every scene playing some old B&W horror film. OK, we fucking get it, you love that stuff. Just give it a fucking rest already!