Cook'd and Bomb'd

Forums => General Bullshit => Topic started by: Z on December 01, 2018, 08:11:44 AM

Title: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Z on December 01, 2018, 08:11:44 AM
I'll have done most of the main sites in the middle and don't really care about a rush attempt to see  the Sahara. Got a tinder meetup lined up but otherwise nothing planned for the remainder of my trip.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 01, 2018, 02:42:01 PM
You're going to Morocco because you met someone on Tinder?
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Cuellar on December 01, 2018, 02:45:42 PM
Don't fucking bother

No do.

Or don't.

I don't know
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Cuellar on December 01, 2018, 02:49:01 PM
Eat camel.

I did that, but it tasted a lot of beef. So it might have been beef. It was nice though.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Paul Calf on December 01, 2018, 02:51:17 PM
Food stalls in Jama’a-al-fnaa.

Ur.

Dunno. In two weeks in Marrakech, the best thing I did was a theee-day side trip Essaouira. It’s a bit of a yawn tbh.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: BlodwynPig on December 01, 2018, 07:58:20 PM
Did you go to that out of town tourist place with the horse displays. Funniest evening of my life, seeing my overweight German boss clapping like a tubby toddler in absolute rapture at the sight of men on horses with swords doing their skilful display.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: chveik on December 01, 2018, 08:08:01 PM
find a place where gnawa musicians are playing
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Z on December 01, 2018, 08:46:39 PM
You're going to Morocco because you met someone on Tinder?
ores
No, I turned on tinder here and got a load of matches

Finally found a Cafe that serves big coffees and almost got screwed outta money by a guide. Gonna watch Kundun in the square tomorrow because that seems weird and might have another date cos I'm bored
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Emotional Support Peacock on December 01, 2018, 08:54:22 PM
SPICES SQUARE
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Cuellar on December 01, 2018, 09:26:36 PM
Everyone gets screwed by a guide, just go with it
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Elderly Sumo Prophecy on December 01, 2018, 09:30:11 PM
Have some sort of Zen introspective spiritual awakening or something.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Cuellar on December 01, 2018, 09:31:32 PM
Is largely pointless
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Keebleman on December 01, 2018, 10:05:07 PM
Go to the Majorelle Gardens, the highlight of my trip to Morocco last year, even though it also included a climb of Mount Toubkal (highest peak in the Atlas Mountains, folks!).  They are wonderfully calm and restful, a literal and figurative oasis from all the heat, noise and dust just outside. I was very disappointed I was able to visit just the once.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Z on December 01, 2018, 10:12:33 PM
Everyone gets screwed by a guide, just go with it
I gave him two dirham knowing he just made me become lost. When he said it was fuck all I took it out of his hand and told him to fuck off, a bunch of kids laughed a lot at him and I proceeded to get totally lost.
Highlight of the trip in retrospect, that. Unless I actually hook up with the more attractive tinder one.

The definition of a two day location, here. Cannot imagine how Paul Calf killed a fortnight.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Z on December 01, 2018, 10:14:42 PM
Go to the Majorelle Gardens, the highlight of my trip to Morocco last year, even though it also included a climb of Mount Toubkal (highest peak in the Atlas Mountains, folks!).  They are wonderfully calm and restful, a literal and figurative oasis from all the heat, noise and dust just outside. I was very disappointed I was able to visit just the once.
Was there, lovely but ruined by instagram. Was pretty late so it cleared out a lot and I got to just chill for a while there.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Cuellar on December 01, 2018, 10:54:25 PM
Two dirham?! Isn't that like ten p
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Z on December 01, 2018, 11:00:31 PM
Two dirham?! Isn't that like ten p
Yes. Everything else I had was notes and I knew he just fucked me, I'm not sure why I was giving him anything!
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Paul Calf on December 02, 2018, 12:54:43 AM
I gave him two dirham knowing he just made me become lost. When he said it was fuck all I took it out of his hand and told him to fuck off, a bunch of kids laughed a lot at him and I proceeded to get totally lost.
Highlight of the trip in retrospect, that. Unless I actually hook up with the more attractive tinder one.

The definition of a two day location, here. Cannot imagine how Paul Calf killed a fortnight.

I was waiting for a visa (that never came, in the end). I’d far rather have been in Rabat or Tangier, but I happened to be in Kech. It was cheap and much safer than Casablanca, which is one of the more hair-raising places I’ve visited.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth on December 02, 2018, 01:28:01 AM
A bloke with a camera might try to gull you into paying for a photo with a snake draped around your neck.

Steal the snake.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Z on December 02, 2018, 09:02:54 AM
I was waiting for a visa (that never came, in the end). I’d far rather have been in Rabat or Tangier, but I happened to be in Kech. It was cheap and much safer than Casablanca, which is one of the more hair-raising places I’ve visited.
So a day trip to casablanca to see some grimness might be an idea?
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Paul Calf on December 02, 2018, 09:24:13 AM
No. Casablanca is just grim, a poor African city with terrible infrastructure.  I was chased through the medina by a group of youths and only escaped due to a bit of luck in taking three consecutive correct turns. And it’s a bit of a trek from Marrakech. Rabat is much nicer, and is the de-facto capital. Essaouira is lovely.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Z on December 02, 2018, 09:29:53 AM
Avoiding medinas in general seems like a plan I'll stick to for the rest of my life tbh. They're surely all the same too? Shite crowded markets selling shite.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Z on December 04, 2018, 09:29:14 PM
Last day was pretty good tbh, everywhere seemed much quieter and on the whole I just seemed to be encountering nicer locals. I would probably consider returning to the country to drive around for maybe a week some time in the future so I'm a bit glad I didn't try to pack somewhere else in.

Tinder lady was really pleasant too, made my Sunday significantly better than it would've been!


Damn near got myself battered by deciding to spend all my remaining money on food for the Syrian refugees because I felt a bit gross. Two utter cunts followed me around for ages shouting "WHAT ABOUT ME! GIVE ME STUFF!" after seeing me give them stuff.

Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: thraxx on December 04, 2018, 09:32:48 PM

When I went to Marrakech, I kept getting hit on by male prostitutes in the main square.  Got really annoying after a while, but I can't blame them I've got a lovely arse.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: thenoise on December 04, 2018, 09:35:44 PM
Just get a few photos taken and stick them up on tinder, when you're back in the UK women go mad for that 'travelling' shit (translation: rich but not a boring corporate type).  When you meet up, have a few anecdotes saved about how travelling opened your eyes and how terrible you feel about people who haven't travelled etc.  Hope you like banging hotties in ethnic dresses who have 'rebelled' against their posh upbringing but still can't quite help their contempt for the lower orders.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 04, 2018, 09:37:38 PM
Everyone has told me unless you stick to a rigid Westerner-priced tour schedule you'll be constantly hassled as rich-whitey, particularly if you're on your own. Possibly exagerrations but there are first hand anecdotes that put me off. I absolutely hate that (though admittedly my feelings of annoyance are not a greater importance than their relative poverty).

Also, lack of bars and what there are are reportedly little more than hotel bars or seedy brothels.

Shame really as I love their food, the landscape, some of the architecture, even busy markets for a short while can be fun.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: The Boston Crab on December 04, 2018, 10:40:45 PM
Eight quid for a pint of pisswasser and you're made to feel guilty for it. What's the alternative, mint tea with sugar? Do me a favour. I found some of the tiling all right but the people were a pain in the fuckin earhole, for the most part. Great guys out in the sticks though, quality Berber laughs playing footy with the buggers and eating their shite. Lovely folk. Never again.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Depressed Beyond Tables on December 05, 2018, 09:25:31 AM
Get on a minibus with 1500 other people hurtling towards certain death.
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Cuellar on December 05, 2018, 09:42:32 AM
Everyone has told me unless you stick to a rigid Westerner-priced tour schedule you'll be constantly hassled as rich-whitey, particularly if you're on your own. Possibly exagerrations but there are first hand anecdotes that put me off. I absolutely hate that (though admittedly my feelings of annoyance are not a greater importance than their relative poverty).

Also, lack of bars and what there are are reportedly little more than hotel bars or seedy brothels.

Shame really as I love their food, the landscape, some of the architecture, even busy markets for a short while can be fun.

Dunno, it happened once or twice to us, the hassling. Not really any more prevalent than in other countries.

We did go during Ramadan by mistake though, so maybe no one had the energy to bother us. Despite this, we managed to find a decent enough bar and even went to a club! There were a fair few seedy hotel bar/brothels though.

I think this was the bar, although it was years ago I went, the Chesterfield (!):

(https://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/05/3d/89/2e/nassim-hotel.jpg)
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Neville Chamberlain on December 05, 2018, 10:12:16 AM
Everyone has told me unless you stick to a rigid Westerner-priced tour schedule you'll be constantly hassled as rich-whitey, particularly if you're on your own. Possibly exagerrations but there are first hand anecdotes that put me off. I absolutely hate that (though admittedly my feelings of annoyance are not a greater importance than their relative poverty).

Morocco is the only north African country I've been to, but I've been told that the situation with whitey-hassling is a lot more aggressive in countries like Egypt and Tunisia. I found Marrakech to be rather laid back on the whole. Yes, I was hassled when I took a walk on my first night from my riad to the central square (and even "encouraged in the direction of" an ATM by a group of scamps), but weirdly this never happened again on the following days - almost as if the news that I wasn't prepared to give up anything on my first night had spread among the opportunistic youths by some sort of local grapevine and it had become widely known that I wasn't worth bothering with. Even when I was being hassled, none of the kids actually came into physical contact with me - again, I've been told the situation is worse in other countries.

So, all in all, I had a nice few days mooching around Marrakech and surrounding areas (including a couple of days in Essaouira). I remember one chap in the market, upon seeing me, asked me where I was from. When I said England, he went through all the layers of football shirts he was wearing simultaneously - Germany, France, Argentina, Bayern Munich, Manchester United, Italy, Real Madrid etc etc - until he eventually arrived at his England top and exclaimed "See, I'm an England fan, too!"

Mad!
Title: Re: Things to do in Marrakech for 1.5 days
Post by: Shoulders?-Stomach! on December 05, 2018, 01:55:29 PM
Quote
(and even "encouraged in the direction of" an ATM by a group of scamps

That would be enough for me to spend the rest of the holiday in my privilege compound ordering cocktails.