Luke Haines Luke Haines

[king_tubby]

Currently beasting tedious shit ex-NME hack Mark Beaumont on the Twitter.

[Zetetic]

https://twitter.com/LukeHaines_News HYYYYYYPPPPPPPERRRRRRRRTEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXT

In response to this review, right?

As someone who quite likes Black Box Recorder, I enjoyed reading it...

And Luke furiously mistyping threatening tweets is quite funny too.

[itsfredtitmus]

Luke Haines is a knobhead

[king_tubby]

Yeah, Beaumont's still crying at the justified savaging Haines gave the NME when it died.

I love the missing of the entire point of the cover of Uptown Top Ranking.

[king_tubby]

I love Luke Haines. Still haven't cooked anything from his cookbook, mind. Or listened to anything he's done since Christie Malry's Own Double Entry.

[itsfredtitmus]

unsolved child murder is one of the greatest 90s songs, but even some of haines' most vehement fans must admit that he's a knobhead

[king_tubby]

He's our knobhead though.

Have you read the books? They're great.

[Funcrusher]

All of Luke Haines' projects seem to have had generous to fawning reviews from the press over the years, so surely one nay sayer isn't too much. I did like this though - Thankfully Swells, another coward - is dead.

[king_tubby]

Aye, another music journalist who didn't actually seem to like or care about music.

[PaulTMA]

#TeamLuke, obviously.  Ghastly 90s NME/MM baboon-anus-for-mouths types, throw them in the fucking dustbin already

[Funcrusher]

Aye, another music journalist who didn't actually seem to like or care about music.

I believe that after spending the 80's posturing about class politics and how middle class indie rock was it transpired that he went to public school.

[king_tubby]

Wiki says he went to a comp in Bradford.

I wonder if anyone on here has read his book 'Tits Out Teenage Terror Totty'

[Funcrusher]

I could be mixing him up with Chris Dean. I'm assuming his book is a piss poor copy of Brute, since that was his usual schtick.

[king_tubby]

Wiki also says his dad was a company director, mind, so still middle class as fuck.

[phantom_power]

The first BBR album is great. Not that keen on the other two though. The response seems a bit OTT but that is Haines' shtick

[phantom_power]

The funniest thing about the whole affair is that it is about a review in fucking Classic Rock magazine

[Funcrusher]

The funniest thing about the whole affair is that it is about a review in fucking Classic Rock magazine

This is true. Poor old Luke, he picks up the latest issue of CR to read the Uriah Heap retrospective and a Barclay James Harvest interview and is unexpectedly confronted by this insult of a review.

[Leo2112]

Haha that twitter meltdown.  What a child.

[Crabwalk]

#TeamLuke, obviously.  Ghastly 90s NME/MM baboon-anus-for-mouths types, throw them in the fucking dustbin already

Beaumont yes, but I reckon Haines would draw the line at Andrew Mueller.

[sweeper]

What a strange little person he has become. A literal bald man literally fighting over a comb after literally everyone else has forgotten the comb exists.

[SteveDave]

Another man who wears a hat indoors. We all know Luke.

[king_tubby]

I wonder what his username is on here.

[Egyptian Feast]

He seems to have deactivated his account now, or been suspended. I can open his profile on the app, but it comes up with 'User Not Found'.

He was being a bit of an arse, but Beaumont probably deserved it. Not for the review, for being Mark Beaumont. I stood next to him at a bar once and he turned to me with a look of disgust to show me the size of the glass of wine he'd just paid over the odds for. One of the twattiest expressions I've ever seen on a face. He was correct about the wine, but I glared back at him anyway as I'd read enough of his shit over the years.

[sweeper]

You could probably argue that inciting Beaumont to kill himself constitutes some form of online bullying.

Have to say, I hate Beaumont as much as anyone, but he's bang on in that review.

I'm surprised his work even gets reviewed these days. I saw a solo show about 12 years ago in Sheffield where he played his drivel to approximately 10 people, and he already seemed to be living in his own mythical purgatorial state of punishment. Which I was and am only too happy to fund. Haines pushing a rock up an endless barren hill is a Kickstarter I'd plough the heating allowance into.

[the ouch cube]

Beaumont yes, but I reckon Haines would draw the line at Andrew Mueller.

He and AM are mates yes, which is odd really considering Mueller is just as much of a self- satisfied juggernaut of sub-Dawkins smuggery as Beaumont, albeit in a slightly different way.

[itsfredtitmus]

i used to follow him on twitter and he used to tweet about hating abba and elo on "ethics" every 3 weeks or so

very strange person
being a forgotten 90s brit-poper will do that to you

[Jockice]

What did he actually say? Has anyone got a copy of it?

[thraxx]

I like Luke Haines. We're are from the same Surrey shithole. But what a shit hole!

[PaulTMA]

What did he actually say? Has anyone got a copy of it?

These are only some of them.  Didn't manage to get most of the Mark Beaumont / Nick Sanderson stuff.















Don't really see what all the fuss is about.

[Mark Steels Stockbroker]

Wiki says he went to a comp in Bradford.

I wonder if anyone on here has read his book 'Tits Out Teenage Terror Totty'

I bought a copy of it as a present for someone. And I glanced at one of two pages. It's exactly what you'd expect from a fauxploitation novel written by Steven Wells.