Author Topic: LEGEND GARY PART TWO  (Read 78841 times)

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1140 on: September 13, 2021, 05:26:33 PM »
Legend Gary gives a pile of Maxim magazine to the charity shop.

"Some of the pages are stuck together but otherwise they're grand!"

jenna appleseed

  • "F••• you Captain Tom."
    • Blog for a Dennis Wilson (Beach Boys) charity fanzine.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1141 on: September 15, 2021, 01:10:19 AM »
Gary gets cancelled from transphobic twitter: 'dunno why Gaz, I only offered to show a load of mad scottish women who need a good shagging & that guy who wrote Father Ted, this rare foreign porn video I've got that totally proves women will wee&shit all over your face.'

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1142 on: September 17, 2021, 11:36:51 PM »
Gary goes on an anti-vaccination rant while dropping his niece off at the local creche.

"Look, Gary isn't it? We're all entitled to our own opinions, but could you please pull the mask up over your mouth and nose in here?"

"Listen, you moany bitch, I'll put the thing on me face, don't mean I have to have it EXACTLY on me mouth or owt! So stick that in your pipe and smoke it! And you probably do smoke a pipe, lezzer! Have a great day, little #AmyWinehouseforevah! Mummy will pick you up when she's finished in the tanning salon!"

Fambo Number Mive

  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • MAKE ROOM FOR THE MUSHROOMS
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1143 on: September 18, 2021, 04:56:15 PM »
Gary dances in the train aisle while blowing up a balloon to the music Daz is playing through his speakers.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • They call me mista bald bastard
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1144 on: September 18, 2021, 10:07:11 PM »
Hubris Daz

Oh, Icarus

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1145 on: September 25, 2021, 04:32:02 AM »
Gary fills Daz's mouth with antibacterial gel and puts a facemask on his head "for that knotted-hanky effect".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • They call me mista bald bastard
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1146 on: September 25, 2021, 09:57:10 AM »
Legend Gary is impaled by his own dildo

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • They call me mista bald bastard
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1147 on: September 25, 2021, 02:55:28 PM »
Legend Gary introduces the zebra mussel to a pond and local waterway to in his words 'give it the chaos factor'.

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1148 on: September 26, 2021, 12:17:09 PM »
Gary paints 'DAZ IS A PEDAFILE' ten-foot high on an overpass.

Fambo Number Mive

  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • MAKE ROOM FOR THE MUSHROOMS
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1149 on: September 26, 2021, 01:10:51 PM »
Gary drinks a glass of his own piss "to protect against that covids, Daz"

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1150 on: September 28, 2021, 03:38:06 PM »
Gary coughs and sneezes over everybody's pints.

Shameless Custard

  • PAUSE FOR THE JET
    • LastFM
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1151 on: September 28, 2021, 06:02:53 PM »
How many Legend Garys does it take to let his mum in when she walks twelve miles with six bags containing all his freshly done washing?

One, but twenty four minutes after the first knock as he's been in the Fleshlight

Fambo Number Mive

  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • MAKE ROOM FOR THE MUSHROOMS
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1152 on: September 28, 2021, 06:12:16 PM »
Gary dangles his legs off the train seat into the aisle and waits for people to get really close before he moves them just enough for people to squeeze past.

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1153 on: September 30, 2021, 02:33:25 PM »
Gary sets up his own courtroom in the garden. His first case sees him sentencing Daz to life imprisonment in the shed for homosexual acts.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • They call me mista bald bastard
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1154 on: October 01, 2021, 06:37:51 PM »
Gary goes to lay out an ill favoured wall 'for good' but it goes wrong and crushes his legs.

petrilTanaka

  • Are we counting shites?
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1155 on: October 04, 2021, 04:50:16 PM »
Gary goes on an anti-vaccination rant while dropping his niece off at the local creche.

"Look, Gary isn't it? We're all entitled to our own opinions, but could you please pull the mask up over your mouth and nose in here?"

"Listen, you moany bitch, I'll put the thing on me face, don't mean I have to have it EXACTLY on me mouth or owt! So stick that in your pipe and smoke it! And you probably do smoke a pipe, lezzer! Have a great day, little #AmyWinehouseforevah! Mummy will pick you up when she's finished in the tanning salon!"

Gary goes on a pro-vaccination rant while waiting to sign on, passing off his niece's points as his own

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1156 on: October 04, 2021, 06:56:22 PM »
"Hello, Daz?"

"Gary, where are you?"

"Tenerife."

"But how?!? You've not got the covid travel cert!"

"Dodgy Michael did one up for me. His dad works in some kind of government administration or owt. I'm coming home soon, I've got a terrible cold and me temperature is through the roof! Another San Miguel, Stavros! COUGH!"

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1157 on: October 11, 2021, 05:54:47 PM »
Gary talks about having "more girth than ever before" but when Daz demands that he prove it he refuses to remove his glans from his shell suit (for once).

Fambo Number Mive

  • Golden Member
  • *****
  • MAKE ROOM FOR THE MUSHROOMS
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1158 on: October 11, 2021, 07:47:13 PM »
Gary's autograph book includes Laurence Fox and Julia Hartley-Brewer. "Only British heroes, Daz. Just a shame I never got an autograph from Sir Colonel Captain Tom".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • They call me mista bald bastard
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1159 on: October 12, 2021, 08:42:43 AM »
Legend Gary's father is so incensed by his son's pranksterism that he sends him out into the wilds of Sussex to live with pigeons.

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1160 on: October 12, 2021, 03:18:56 PM »
Gary slut-shames Daz by posting pictures of him in his underwear with a dog online, 'send to all'.

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1161 on: October 12, 2021, 11:11:42 PM »
Gary leaves a palette of Stella in Danny Dyer's driveway, "It's just to say thanks Dan mate," he says to himself as he walks away.

Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1162 on: October 12, 2021, 11:16:31 PM »
Legend Gary buys a slow loris on the dark web.

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1163 on: October 14, 2021, 03:34:04 PM »
Gary is slamming himself against the doors of the Houses of Parliament. He's really going for it, continuing to shove.

"Let me in! I want to take on these pro-masks MPs! They're all mouth, but let's see how they fare in a bare-knuckle boxing match!"

He continues to ram his body against the doors. "Let me in!"

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1164 on: October 14, 2021, 11:48:18 PM »
"If only that covid only targeted gays, it'd finish the job the AIDS began in the '80s," notes Gary. Or it could be your dad who said it.

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1165 on: October 15, 2021, 07:33:38 PM »
Gary jokes that his arse "can make chocolate!"

Glebe

  • You must have realism, Spike.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1166 on: October 15, 2021, 11:36:46 PM »
"That's the best plate of gammon I've had in a long while Daz's Mum - and I know my gammon!"

Shoulders?-Stomach!

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • They call me mista bald bastard
    • http://jackanderton.jamendo.net/
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1167 on: October 16, 2021, 05:52:52 AM »
Legend Gary eats a bag of grass and dies

jenna appleseed

  • "F••• you Captain Tom."
    • Blog for a Dennis Wilson (Beach Boys) charity fanzine.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1168 on: October 16, 2021, 05:55:04 AM »
"But if anyone asks, I'm still refusing to eat gammon because gammon's a slur against angry white men like me, and I'm a gammon so it'll make me a cannibal like those darkies out in Africa"

Also Gary's now claiming to be boycotting Um Bongo "because they drink it in the Congo, Daz".

--
Meanwhile, still on a racist 80s soft drink soft theme, Gary doesn't know whether to be pleased or upset they no longer show that  Kiora advert. He's claims to be upset about "all the wokes making pollical correctness go mad" while being secretly pleased cartoon drink adverts became a lot more white.

jenna appleseed

  • "F••• you Captain Tom."
    • Blog for a Dennis Wilson (Beach Boys) charity fanzine.
Re: LEGEND GARY PART TWO
« Reply #1169 on: October 16, 2021, 05:56:16 AM »
Gary's pronouns are Leg/end and Ga/ry

Tags: