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March 28, 2024, 09:28:48 PM

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LEGEND GARY PART TWO

Started by Fambo Number Mive, August 28, 2019, 08:17:01 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Glebe

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on September 13, 2021, 03:08:43 PMLegend Gary gives a pile of Maxim magazine to the charity shop.

"Some of the pages are stuck together but otherwise they're grand!"

jenna appleseed

Gary gets cancelled from transphobic twitter: 'dunno why Gaz, I only offered to show a load of mad scottish women who need a good shagging & that guy who wrote Father Ted, this rare foreign porn video I've got that totally proves women will wee&shit all over your face.'

Glebe

Gary goes on an anti-vaccination rant while dropping his niece off at the local creche.

"Look, Gary isn't it? We're all entitled to our own opinions, but could you please pull the mask up over your mouth and nose in here?"

"Listen, you moany bitch, I'll put the thing on me face, don't mean I have to have it EXACTLY on me mouth or owt! So stick that in your pipe and smoke it! And you probably do smoke a pipe, lezzer! Have a great day, little #AmyWinehouseforevah! Mummy will pick you up when she's finished in the tanning salon!"

Fambo Number Mive

Gary dances in the train aisle while blowing up a balloon to the music Daz is playing through his speakers.

Shoulders?-Stomach!


Glebe

Gary fills Daz's mouth with antibacterial gel and puts a facemask on his head "for that knotted-hanky effect".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary is impaled by his own dildo

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary introduces the zebra mussel to a pond and local waterway to in his words 'give it the chaos factor'.

Glebe

Gary paints 'DAZ IS A PEDAFILE' ten-foot high on an overpass.

Fambo Number Mive

Gary drinks a glass of his own piss "to protect against that covids, Daz"

Glebe

Gary coughs and sneezes over everybody's pints.

Custard

How many Legend Garys does it take to let his mum in when she walks twelve miles with six bags containing all his freshly done washing?

One, but twenty four minutes after the first knock as he's been in the Fleshlight

Fambo Number Mive

Gary dangles his legs off the train seat into the aisle and waits for people to get really close before he moves them just enough for people to squeeze past.

Glebe

Gary sets up his own courtroom in the garden. His first case sees him sentencing Daz to life imprisonment in the shed for homosexual acts.

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Gary goes to lay out an ill favoured wall 'for good' but it goes wrong and crushes his legs.

petril

Quote from: Glebe on September 17, 2021, 11:36:51 PM
Gary goes on an anti-vaccination rant while dropping his niece off at the local creche.

"Look, Gary isn't it? We're all entitled to our own opinions, but could you please pull the mask up over your mouth and nose in here?"

"Listen, you moany bitch, I'll put the thing on me face, don't mean I have to have it EXACTLY on me mouth or owt! So stick that in your pipe and smoke it! And you probably do smoke a pipe, lezzer! Have a great day, little #AmyWinehouseforevah! Mummy will pick you up when she's finished in the tanning salon!"

Gary goes on a pro-vaccination rant while waiting to sign on, passing off his niece's points as his own

Glebe

"Hello, Daz?"

"Gary, where are you?"

"Tenerife."

"But how?!? You've not got the covid travel cert!"

"Dodgy Michael did one up for me. His dad works in some kind of government administration or owt. I'm coming home soon, I've got a terrible cold and me temperature is through the roof! Another San Miguel, Stavros! COUGH!"

Glebe

Gary talks about having "more girth than ever before" but when Daz demands that he prove it he refuses to remove his glans from his shell suit (for once).

Fambo Number Mive

Gary's autograph book includes Laurence Fox and Julia Hartley-Brewer. "Only British heroes, Daz. Just a shame I never got an autograph from Sir Colonel Captain Tom".

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary's father is so incensed by his son's pranksterism that he sends him out into the wilds of Sussex to live with pigeons.

Glebe

Gary slut-shames Daz by posting pictures of him in his underwear with a dog online, 'send to all'.

Glebe

Gary leaves a palette of Stella in Danny Dyer's driveway, "It's just to say thanks Dan mate," he says to himself as he walks away.

Gregory Torso

Legend Gary buys a slow loris on the dark web.

Glebe

Gary is slamming himself against the doors of the Houses of Parliament. He's really going for it, continuing to shove.

"Let me in! I want to take on these pro-masks MPs! They're all mouth, but let's see how they fare in a bare-knuckle boxing match!"

He continues to ram his body against the doors. "Let me in!"

Glebe

"If only that covid only targeted gays, it'd finish the job the AIDS began in the '80s," notes Gary. Or it could be your dad who said it.

Glebe

Gary jokes that his arse "can make chocolate!"

Glebe

"That's the best plate of gammon I've had in a long while Daz's Mum - and I know my gammon!"

Shoulders?-Stomach!

Legend Gary eats a bag of grass and dies

jenna appleseed

"But if anyone asks, I'm still refusing to eat gammon because gammon's a slur against angry white men like me, and I'm a gammon so it'll make me a cannibal like those darkies out in Africa"

Also Gary's now claiming to be boycotting Um Bongo "because they drink it in the Congo, Daz".

--
Meanwhile, still on a racist 80s soft drink soft theme, Gary doesn't know whether to be pleased or upset they no longer show that  Kiora advert. He's claims to be upset about "all the wokes making pollical correctness go mad" while being secretly pleased cartoon drink adverts became a lot more white.

jenna appleseed

Gary's pronouns are Leg/end and Ga/ry